


Don't Need You

by Oranakka



Category: Designated Survivor (TV)
Genre: Aftermath, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Friendship, Love/Hate, One Night Stands, Pregnancy, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-09-30 00:53:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oranakka/pseuds/Oranakka
Summary: Slightly AU. Six weeks after a one-night stand, Emily discovers she is pregnant with Aaron's baby. The problem? They don't talk anymore. Will she tell him? How will she handle all of this?





	1. The Biggest Mistake Of Her Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! So, here I am, with a brand new story. It took a little while to write it, but I am excited for you to read it. This is very different from what I've done in the past, as it is Emron centric, but not Emron together. Just for a little warning, this is not a story in which you will see Aaron and Emily together soon, it will take a good while. FYI, I have 15 chapters and an epilogue planned, and almost already written. Anyway, I am excited to publish this, so I hope you will like it. Please, please please, talk about it around you, leave kudos, bookmark my story, and please leave comments because all of this mean everything to me. As always, I take the good and the bad, I won't get upset if you have constructive comments on it, so please, feel free to review.

Peter MacLeish would be Vice-President, it was official. It was the first good thing to happen to this administration since they had taken office, so of course, they were celebrating. A glass of scotch in their hands, Seth, Aaron and Emily were cheering to their first success. And when Seth left, eager to party with his former colleagues downtown, Emily and Aaron ended up alone in the Chief of Staff’s office. They had been dancing around each other for weeks now, and even had gone out for dinner once the previous week after Aaron had saved Emily’s ass at work. So of course, they could feel the sexual tension between each other. However, they had not planned to resolve that sexual tension on that night. But, slightly light-headed, they left their opinions on one-night stands at the office and they quickly headed to Aaron’s apartment.

For a first night together, sex was very good. So good that Emily almost regretted leaving before Aaron woke up in the morning. So good that both of them considered a round two sooner rather than later. But fate came in the way and the morning after, Emily was asked to investigate Aaron. They both built their walls back up, confused, lost and angry. 

Everybody in the West Wing could feel that something had changed, but especially Seth. He was the third part of their Golden Trio, the third part of this team that would back the President at all time. He was left disconcerted by everything, especially since his two colleagues wouldn’t say anything. He knew it was partly because of security clearance, he got that pretty clear after a reporter asked him if it was true Aaron was interrogated by the FBI, but he also knew that something else was the main reason of the fallout. He never dared to ask, he knew he would be sent away, but it was utterly annoying him. 

Truth be told, neither Aaron nor Emily had told anyone about this, not even their respective best friends. Hurt by the suspicions, Aaron had refused to even think about this night, and had not said anything to Ryan, knowing that his serial-lover best friend wouldn’t listen and just encourage him to go back to Emily, no matter the cost. He had not said anything to Nadia either. His cousin was amazing, but she was like a little sister to him, and he just didn’t talk about sex with her. Having been raised together had drawn a few boundaries in terms of topics they could broach. As for Emily, she had not said anything to her best friend, Gemma, either: she was just ashamed of what had happened with Aaron, for obvious reasons —since she had mistrusted him afterwards and had made the mistake to run checks on him— but also because she had always disapproved of Gemma’s way of life and her numerous one-night stands, and she had nonetheless fallen for Aaron and had a one-night stand with him. 

Six weeks after that night, and after the fallout, nothing was seeming to get better. Emily and Aaron had still not talked and didn’t seem willing too, the administration was in turmoil after Peter MacLeish’s assassination by his wife, and Emily had taken Aaron’s position after his resignation. That evening when they had celebrated their first victory was just a very distant memory. 

“Em, you look really tired these days, are you sure everything is okay?” Gemma asked as they were out for lunch.  
“Yes, everything’s fine. It’s just hard to get used to being the Chief of Staff… I mean, Special Adviser was something, but Chief of Staff… It’s crazier than I thought.” Emily answered.  
“Why don’t I buy it? There’s been something off with you for a while...” Gemma continued.   
“I’ve been sick the past couple of days.” Emily finally admitted.  
“How sick?”  
“I threw up this morning, and I’m feeling more tired than usual… I think I have the flu.”  
“Well, if you’ve had sex, I would say you are pregnant, but since you haven’t in like what, decades…” Gemma laughed at Emily’s lack of sexual activity. 

Emily didn’t answer but choked on the salad she was eating. She suddenly became pale as the distant memory of her night with Aaron flashed back in her mind.

“What? You have? With who? When? Why?” Gemma asked, almost screaming in the restaurant.

Not answering her best friend, Emily apologized and ran out of the restaurant. Her breath short and her hands trembling, she entered the first pharmacy she could find to buy a pregnancy test, and then ran to her apartment. She was so stressed she thought her legs would bail on her as a knot was forming in her stomach. Her heart was pounding as she was waiting for the answer during what she thought were the three longest minutes of her life. But then, she looked at the test. The little + sign on the test was absolutely clear, It was real, she was pregnant and there was no doubt about the father either: Aaron Shore. He was the only man she had had sex with in a good six months, the only one since she had broken up with her boyfriend a few days after the bombing. 

Sitting on the floor of her bathroom, she tried to regain composure, but she just couldn’t. Her breath short, she suddenly started spasming and she started crying. She threw up, taken by nausea and disgust of herself. How could she have done that? How could she be pregnant after a one-night stand with a colleague, a guy she barely even knew, and that didn’t even talk to her anymore? She was fairly certain they had used a condom, and she had been told 9 years ago that she was infertile and would likely never have children of her own. She just couldn’t believe it. Her phone rang again, and a quick look at the screen made her realize that Gemma had already called four times since she had left the restaurant in a hurry. It also made Emily realize that she had a meeting just half an hour later, and that she desperately needed to look presentable and professional. Still not sure of her moves, she stood up and held herself to the sink in the bathroom, splashed water on her face, brushed her teeth and reapplied make-up. She left her apartment on that cold January day, her hands in the pockets of her coat, the wind blowing in her face, helping her to clear her head. 

Later that evening, and after the thirtieth unanswered call from Gemma, Emily went back home and sat on the couch, trying to forget about everything with a glass of red wine and a good show on TV. She just didn’t want to talk, she was exhausted, it was already almost 11p.m. but she wasn’t hungry or ready to go to bed. Even worse, she just knew that if she even tried to close her eyes, flashes would keep coming to her eyes, from that day, from her night with Aaron to everything that had happened afterwards. Her afternoon at work had been terrible. She had constantly been on the verge of crying, not able to push away the thought that she was pregnant, and everybody had seen it. Seth had asked if everything was fine, the President had asked too, and even her deputy, Phil. Every time, she had brushed things off, saying she was just feeling a little sick, but they all knew better. Though, they had not dared pushing, they knew she would talk in due time. 

Suddenly, she heard loud knocks at her door. She wasn’t expecting anyone, but she discovered her best friend at the door, entering in her apartment in a fury. 

“Emily Victoria Rhodes! When are you going to answer my phone calls? What is going on? You ran away from the restaurant and you haven’t answered since then. Damnit! I was worried! I’m your best friend!” Gemma exclaimed, yelling at Emily. 

Emily didn’t take the trouble to answer and went back to the couch, sitting there with her glass of wine. The curly red-haired was furious at her best friend who was ignoring her.

“Oh my Gosh! Don’t tell me you are pregnant and drinking wine! Are you?” she exclaimed, walking toward her best friend to take the glass off of her hand.

Emily continued her mutism and took her glass back from the coffee table where Gemma had put it. Her friend took her shoes and coat off and decided to sit on the couch, pulling the blanket toward her. 

“Em… Talk to me.” Gemma said, her voice suddenly low and compassionate.   
“What do you want me to say. I had a one-night stand, the only one in my whole life. The guy is not talking to me anymore, and I’m pregnant with his baby even though I’m fairly certain we used a condom. End of story.” Emily said, her voice toneless. 

It took a moment for Gemma to realize what Emily had just said. 

“Are you… sure?” she asked, her voice still low.  
“As sure as a pregnancy test, my nausea and definitely sore boobs can be…” Emily answered, sighing..   
“But I thought... you couldn’t have kids...” Gemma continued, her voice low.  
“I thought so too….guess doctors are stupid...” she said, taking a sip from her glass of wine.   
“Maybe you should stop drinking wine then, don’t you think?”  
“Can I enjoy this one last time, please?”  
“One last time? So you’re keeping it?” Gemma asked, surprised.  
“I haven’t… thought about any other possibility…” Emma answered, honest.  
“You haven’t thought about… abortion?”  
“Gemma…” Emily said, her voice serious.  
“What, I’m asking! It is a possibility. What are you gonna do anyway? Go see the guy and say: “Hey hi, remember, we had sex. You’re gonna be a dad, wanna share parenthood?”” Gemma said sarcastically. “Emily… Who’s the guy anyway?”

It made Emily chuckle, but it was a sad chuckle, the kind that made her want to cry even more.

“The guy whose job I took…” she answered.  
“You mean, the guy who tried to kick you out of the White House and then saved your ass?” Gemma raised an eyebrow.  
“Yup…”  
“I thought you hated the guy…”  
“I still do.”  
“And, you still had sex with him…”  
“Can you just call it unresolved sexual tension?”  
“Resolved sexual tension you mean…” Gemma smirked.

Emily shook her head, giving her a dirty look.

“Oh come on, Em!” 

Emily continued to ignore her best friend.

“Okay, okay… Too soon for that. I’m sorry. Why don’t you talk to each other anymore?”  
“Among other things? Because I investigated him for treason the day after we had sex.”  
“Was the sex that bad?” Gemma laughed.

She was given another death glare.

“I’m sorry…” Gemma apologized. “What are you going to do about it? Are you even going to tell him?   
“I saw him twice since he resigned. He barely talked to me, and it was just so icy... So no, I’m not planning on telling him…”  
“Don’t you think he deserves to know?”  
“I don’t even know what I’m gonna do with this… So no, he doesn’t.”  
“You need to think about it Em, decide before it’s too late.”  
“Can we talk about it another day?”  
“Emily… Don’t avoid this conversation…”   
“I’m not avoiding anything. It’s almost midnight, I had a hard day, tomorrow is going to be the same, so I’m just off to bed now.”

Emily stood up, leaving Gemma alone on the couch and in the middle of the room, stunned by such a behavior. 

“You can sleep there if you want, if you don’t, lock behind you, you have the key…” Emily said, walking toward her bedroom.   
“Em…” Gemma tried.  
“Goodnight.” Emily cut her off.


	2. Realizing

“Emily Victoria Rhodes!”

Emily raised her head to discover her best friend, furious, at the entrance of her office. 

“Not again…” Emily groaned. 

Gemma didn’t listen, walked inside the office and closed the door. 

“It’s been four days. You need to talk, you need to think about it, and you need to decide.” she said, sitting on the chair opposite Emily and crossing her arms, her voice softening. .   
“I don’t have the time right now…” Emily said, avoiding the topic.  
“Emily…” Gemma scolded. 

Before she could answer, Emily’s phone rang and she answered. She was called in commands op and just left Gemma alone in the middle of the Chief of Staff’s office, the red-haired pissed that her best friend wouldn’t take the matter in her own hands. Gemma left the West Wing, annoyed, and decided to call the doctor to book Emily an appointment. If her best friend didn’t want to do anything about it, then she would. At least, she needed her pregnancy to be confirmed. 

“Clear your schedule for tomorrow morning, you have an appointment at 9:30 a.m. I will take you there, go with you and stay with you, don’t even try to deflect, or I’ll kick your ass and tell that whole damn very old building you’re working in that you are pregnant.”

Emily sighed when she saw the text. She knew Gemma was right, but she just didn’t want to think about it. She had felt nauseous again that morning, and Seth’s coffee had made her sick, but still, a confirmation would make it even more real, too real. She didn’t want to, she didn’t have the time to, and she couldn’t do it. Deep inside, she also knew that she should probably abort before it was too late, she was in no way ready to have a baby, her life wasn’t stable enough, and she didn’t even have someone to share that with. But was she actually capable of doing it? That was a big question. And what would that mean for her future? To her latest knowledge, she couldn’t even have children, maybe it was her one and only chance to have a baby, to have that future that she had put in brackets years ago when she had been told the terrible news. 

Just like the past four days, Emily spent the rest of her day withdrawing and burying herself into work. She wasn’t talking, she was just in her thoughts all the time or bossy with anyone who would cross her path. Her closest colleagues and her deputy had seen it too. Seth, who had become much more than a colleague, could definitely say that things had been off for almost two months now, but it had suddenly become much worse and he couldn’t get a grip on why. He had tried to talk to the new Chief of Staff, but he had been sent off and knew well that she would only talk when she would be ready to. He couldn’t help being sad for her though, he could feel that she wanted to talk, that she needed to. Seeing Emily’s best friend coming to the West Wing twice in four days was telling him that it was something serious, since he had never met her before. Seth was fairly certain that Aaron had something to do with Emily’s recent behavior, and he was also fairly certain that something had happened between the two. He had seen them dancing around each other for a while and deep inside, he knew they were meant to be. They had such a strong dynamic together that everyday since Aaron had resigned, he was sad not to be able to work with both of them anymore. 

Early the morning after, Seth was in his office reviewing something when he heard a knock at his door.

“Hey man…” Seth said, smiling “What are you doing here?”  
“I’m supposed to meet Emily for that bill. Guess I’m gonna see Phil again…”  
“What do you mean?” Seth asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“She deflected a couple of times. And the only time I met her, it just wasn’t… It was awkward.” Aaron explained, honest.  
“Wanna talk about it?”   
“Nah. Not really… How is she doing?”   
“Personally?”   
“No, on the job” Aaron cut his friend short.  
“Oh… She’s fine, she’s great. I mean, you know Emily, she’ll get the work done…” Seth answered.

A sad smile formed on Aaron’s face. He was nostalgic of the time he had spent at the White House, especially the time he had spent with Emily. He thought he knew her, but after she had investigated him, he never stopped wondering if he truly did. After all, he had spent only a few months working with her, and it was well known that in Washington you couldn’t trust anyone. She had betrayed him the day after they had had sex, the day after he had finally let his feelings do the talking. Even if deep inside he knew it wasn’t possible, he couldn’t help thinking that maybe it was all part of a plan, that maybe she had planned all of this ahead. Since his resignation, the only thing that had made him stay in Washington was Nadia. His cousin had scored a job with Congresswoman Yoshida, and this was the only reason why he had accepted Hookstraten’s offer to become her Chief Strategist. He didn’t want Nadia alone in the jungle that could be Washington D.C. 

Although he didn’t know that, Emily had for once a good reason to send her deputy to the meeting with Aaron. At 9 a.m. sharp, Gemma had knocked at Emily’s door to take her to her appointment, and as promised, she stayed with her the whole time. The stress of the appointment had made Emily throw up again, and when the doctor announced her that she was indeed pregnant, and seven weeks along, she ran to the nearest bathroom to throw her guts down the toilet again. 

“Em…” Gemma sighed as she entered the bathroom stall and squatted down near her best friend.  
“I can’t, I can’t do this…” Emily said, crying.   
“I know… I know…” Gemma answered, rubbing Emily’s back. 

Emily was sobbing, she felt helpless. She didn’t know what to do, what to say. It just wasn’t her time to be a mother, she couldn’t do this. It was bringing back so many terrible memories of the time she had been told she was infertile, it was bringing back all the hopes she had given up of starting a family. 

“Listen to me, Em. We will figure this out. Look, it’s 10:30, you’re going to be late. So I’ll drive you to the White House, you’ll try to push that at the back of your mind for the rest of the day, and you try to come home early. I’ll be there, I’ll leave work early too. And we will talk, and figure this out together. Okay? I’m here for you, no matter what.” Gemma tried to reassure her.  
“Do you really think that fifteen years of friendship can go through that, that you’ll still be there for me after that?” Emily asked, still crying.  
“Hell yes! Girl… You’re my best friend. I would raise that baby for you if I had to!” she exclaimed. “Please, don’t make me do that though…” she laughed. 

Emily chuckled softly, partly feeling better after such an eventful beginning of the day. 

“I took the flyers the doctor gave me. I’ll bring them to your place tonight, okay? I’ll make dinner.” Gemma continued.  
“Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you…” 

Emily wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks and stood up from the floor where she had been sitting for the past few minutes. She splashed some water on her face and brushed her teeth. She felt depressed at the idea that she was so organized and practical even to the point that she had brought with her a toothbrush and her make-up bag, already knowing that she would probably cry and vomit. She took a few minutes to redo her make-up, and then hugged Gemma to give her strength for the day.

When she arrived in the West Wing, she decided to hide in her office as much as she could, and she thought it was working pretty well until Seth knocked on her door a couple of hours later.

“I saw Aaron this morning.” Seth stated.  
“Okay?” Emily asked, not really sure what Seth was insinuating.   
“We talked about you. He asked how you were doing and said you’ve been avoiding him lately. You deflected this morning…”  
“I had an appointment” Emily brushed things off.  
“Oh, just like the last time, right?” Seth asked, trying to push her a bit.  
“I can’t remember. I guess, I don’t see why I would do such a thing otherwise…” Emily ignored Seth’s hint.  
“I know something happened between the two of you and you don’t want to tell me…” Seth smirked.

The comment suddenly made Emily furious. Her look darkened and her hand gripped on the pen she was holding. 

“Nothing happened! Ever! Okay? Now if that is all you wanted, just leave me alone and go back to your office.” she yelled. 

Emily’s behavior took Seth aback and he raised his hands in protestation.

“Woah, slow down Em. I’m sorry. No more teasing, ever, again.” Seth tempered. “But you know…” he said after a pause, “you can talk to me whenever you want, whenever you need, about anything. Okay?”

He could see that tears were threatening to fall down Emily’s cheeks, but she clearly didn’t want to talk right now, so he didn’t push more. 

“It’s a hard time, but yeah… Thank you.” Emily smiled softly, her mood softening. 

Seth left Emily’s office with a nod, and she continued her day at the White House. It had started as a crappy day, so obviously it continued the same way. It was busier that she needed it to be, and nothing was going the way she wanted. The other meetings she had did not go the way the administration had hoped it would, and it seemed that nothing could work. In addition, she never managed to push her pregnancy at the back of her mind, even if that is what she wanted the most, and she almost burst into tears at least four times during the day. By 6 p.m. she looked like a ghost, and Phil, her deputy, offered to take over her and sent her home. 

Gemma was already at her apartment when she arrived, and she had to admit it felt good to come home to someone cooking. Emily changed into comfortable clothes, and almost opened a bottle of red wine before her best friend made her realize that she probably shouldn’t do it. Instead, Gemma offered to make soft cocktails and Emily sat at the kitchen island, distractedly listening to her best friend talking about her day. 

By the end of the dinner, Gemma had not yet addressed the burning topic of the evening. She didn’t know how to address it. They could both feel the tension, so the red-hair decided to launch the topic anyway. 

“You know, you need to make a decision...” Gemma started.  
“I don’t think I can make a decision...” Emily said, her voice low.   
“You don’t have a choice, you have to make a decision, Em. Either you keep it, or you don’t. But you need to decide.”  
“But how can I make such a decision. It’s only been what, five days that I’ve known. Five days ago, I still though that I was infertile, and I suddenly end up pregnant of a guy I don’t talk to anymore. I don’t know what to do, how do you want me to know.” Emily explained.   
“But...” Gemma said. “You really are considering keeping it?”   
“Yeah... Maybe... I don’t know. What if it’s my only chance to have a baby, a family that I thought I would never have.” 

Both girls sighed. Gemma could definitely understand what she meant. She could clearly remember the day when Emily’s doctor had told her she had hormone problems and she could probably never have children of her own. That night, Emily had cried until dawn, drunk a full bottle of tequila on her own, and thrown up all day afterwards. It had been one of the hardest moments of her life.

“But, are you ready for this? What about... the father?” Gemma asked.   
“What about him?”  
“You should tell him. He’s going to be a dad...”  
“I haven’t made my decision yet, so he might not be... And even though, we still don’t talk, I don’t see why he should know.”  
“Because I’m sure he’s far from stupid, he’s going to guess, he’s going to do the math, and he will know he is the father. He’s going to be hurt if you don’t tell him...”  
“He’s the one who decided not to talk to me anymore...”  
“Em... I know you. You’re lying.” Gemma scolded. 

Emily sighed again, she knew Gemma was right, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to tell Aaron anything, she couldn’t even see him yet. As for Gemma, she could see that Emily had already made her decision, even though she had not realized yet. 

“You’re going to keep it, aren’t you?” Gemma asked again.   
“I guess... What would you do?”  
“I don’t have my word in this, whether you keep it or not is none of my business. But you already know what I would do...”

Yeah, Emily definitely knew what would Gemma do. 

“But you get why I’m considering keeping it, right?”  
“Of course I do. I just probably wouldn’t handle it the same way...”  
“With Aaron you mean?”  
“Yeah...”

Emily couldn’t help but sigh once more. Aaron should know, it was obvious, but she couldn’t resolve to telling him.


	3. Falling Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos on this story, it really makes me happy! I hope you'll like the next chapter :)

Emily’s life had taken a strange turn, this was the least she could say. She was just reaching the end of her first trimester, and morning sickness had already started to fade, which was something she was definitely grateful for. She had had long talks with Gemma, but had in the end decided to keep that baby. It wasn’t really as if she had hesitated, even if she knew how crazy everything was, how of a mistake it probably was to raise a baby on her own with such a demanding job. She knew that it was probably her only chance to have a family of her own, to have her own baby, and that sole reason had made her keep the baby.

One evening she had called her mother, Karen, to finally tell her everything. This had probably been the hardest phone call she had ever made. She had spent a good hour crying over the phone, and despite asking her mother several times to give her opinion, Karen had carefully avoided to. She did, indeed, have an opinion: she would never wish this for Emily, but she didn’t want to influence her daughter. She wanted the best for her, and she knew how hard it was to be a single mother, having raised Emily and her brother on her own after their father had left without a word. But again, just like Gemma, Karen could remember very clearly when Emily had been told she would never have kids, so she understood very well why she wanted to keep that miraculous baby.

Karen had taken a few days off to come down to Washington, spoil and cheer up her daughter. Emily had cried a lot during those days, but it had felt good to have her mother at home, preparing her meals, cleaning her apartment and just taking care of her. They had talked a lot too, and it had been very weird for Emily because her mother had confessed a lot of things about being a single mother, what it implied and how she, herself, had lived the situation. Of course, it was slightly different since Emily’s father had been there at one point, leaving her, her mother and her brother without a word when she was only 7 years old. But for Karen, it had meant raising a child alone, and another one, teenager at the time, who believed Emily was the sole reason of their dad’s departure.

Apart from her mother and her best friend, Emily had not told anything to anyone. She wasn’t actually planning to. She knew that soon, she would start showing, people would start whispering, and that idea was already way too much for her. Despite how much she loved her job, the fact that it was such a public position in the small world of Washington D.C. was utterly annoying her. Gemma had advised her several times to tell Aaron. He deserved to know, and both Emily and Gemma knew that, but the Chief of Staff couldn’t resolve herself to telling him. She had met him once in the hallways of the West Wing. That day, she had once again deflected and asked Phil to meet Aaron, but the meeting had taken longer than she thought and she had ended up bumping into him as he was going out. It had been extremely awkward, and everybody around them had seen it. Aaron was hurt that she had avoided him once again, especially as there was the definite proof she had no other meeting planned. Emily, for her part, had been anxious and had just stammered a few words. The silence had been painful and way too long, and after the basic “how are you doing?”, Emily had escaped, inventing an urgent meeting in the Oval Office.

Hiding her pregnancy to her closest colleagues had been a tough one. She had been caught by Seth running to the bathroom several times as the smell of his coffee had upset her stomach more than once. She had faked the flu, had invented a new diet that wasn’t working, but she had realized that it was much harder to hide it than she thought it would be. She had even asked her obgyn a few tips, but saltines and pre-natal vitamins weren’t enough for Emily to really feel better.

Though with the weeks passing, she could definitely say that she was starting to feel better. She had been supported by Gemma more than ever, and she could feel more confident, more sure of her choice, she knew that she would make it. The previous night, however, all her doubts had come back like a slap her face. As often, Gemma had come to Emily’s place for dinner but as they were chatting, the red-haired had suddenly become more serious.

_“Em, I need to tell you something.” Gemma had said._   
_“You sound serious, what is going on?” Emily had asked, sitting on the couch._   
_“It’s work. They decided to move to New York. Everybody is moving there…”_   
_“What? When?” Emily had exclaimed, panic in her voice._   
_“They plan to move everything in three months.”_

_Emily had started panicking, raising from the couch and walking in circle around it, trying to think of something, trying to realize what was happening. She could feel the anxiety attack coming, taken of spasms, and tears coming to her eyes. After that, she couldn’t remember much but the fact that she had barely slept from the whole night._

So, in the morning, she arrived nauseous, grumpy and sleepless. She knew it would be a hard day, but she didn’t know how bad it would be until the first crisis broke. It was barely ten in the morning, and despite the make-up, everybody could see she was exhausted. The panic in her usually very steady voice was surprising everybody. She managed to keep it together until they resolved the crisis, but as soon as she closed the door of her office, she burst into tears. She had not even heard the knock, nor Seth peeping into her office, and she jumped of surprise when she felt him sit next to her on the couch.

“Emily, what is going on?” he said, his hand running on her back.  
“Nothing… It’s… nothing” she answered, her head in her hands.  
“You’ve been acting weird for a while now, what is going on. You should tell me, I can keep it for myself you know…” Seth tried.

Emily knew it was over, that she couldn’t keep this for herself any longer. Raising her head to look at the Press Secretary with her tearful eyes, she finally told him.

“I’m pregnant.”  
“You what?” he answered, surprised.  
“I’m pregnant…” she repeated, even though she knew he had heard her well.

There was a silence as Seth took her in his arms to try and soothe her.

“Does he know?” he asked after a few minutes.  
“He?”  
“The father…”  
“No.”

Seth was far from stupid, he knew very well that Aaron was the father, even though neither of them had pronounced his name. In the few months they had worked together, they had become somewhat close, and he knew very well that Emily was single and wasn’t the type of girl to hook up with a stranger. He had also seen both his friends getting close, and then build their walls back up, so he knew that something had happened.

“Don’t tell him…” Emily pleaded.  
“You know very well that I won’t. It’s not my place to. But, does that mean you are keeping it?”  
“Yes, I know, it’s crazy. But I have my reasons. I’m…” Emily sighed. She wanted to tell him but she couldn’t. “It’s too hard, I can’t tell you now, but I’ll tell you one day.”

Seth nodded. He wasn’t really the curious type of guy, he would never dare to ask even if he knew she wouldn’t take it bad. He was just trying to take it all in, think about the fact that their friends were going to be parents but didn’t talk to each other.

“How long have you known for?”  
“A few weeks, more than a month actually”  
“That explains why I suddenly met your best friend and she’s coming around quite often”

Emily nodded, wiping from her cheeks the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. But Seth had just pronounced the name that triggered another breakdown.

“She told me yesterday night that her NGO is moving its headquarters to New York.” Emily said, sobbing again. “She was supposed to help me with all of this, and now I’m gonna be on my own to raise that baby…”  
“You don’t have to do this alone, Em.” Seth acknowledged.  
“It’s not as if I really had a choice. Gemma is moving away, my mother is in Ohio, I don’t have a father, my brother doesn’t talk to me…”  
“Can I ask you why you don’t want to tell… him?” Seth didn’t want to pronounce Aaron’s name.  
“He hates me…”  
“He doesn’t…”  
“I cannot even bear seeing him without feeling terrible and wanting to run away…”  
“Is it because of your undeniable chemistry that the two of you don’t talk anymore?” Seth joked, trying to lighten the mood.  
“No…” Emily chuckled.  
“That FBI thing that I don’t want to know about because it makes my job easier?”

Emily nodded. Seth had clearly gotten that right. Even though he didn’t actually know about the investigation, he had early on understood that something bad had happened between Aaron and Emily. Something bad enough that they had broken things off before they had even had the chance to try something. Being with them all the time, he had seen it coming, and had been more than surprised when they had suddenly been icy toward each other. It had hurt him too, because even though Aaron had resigned pretty soon after everything, working with them had been tough for the couple of weeks after the fallout. It had been hard too, after Aaron had left. It just wasn’t the same, and secretly, he still hoped that his friend would come back to the White House one day.

“Seth, do you think you could do something for me?” Emily suddenly asked.  
“I’m listening…” he answered, curious.  
“Gemma, I think she could work with you”  
“Huh?” he answered, curious.  
“She is the Comms director of her NGO, she’s worked in politics before, she knows how everything works. She could help you, don’t you think?”  
“As much as I definitely think that I could need a hand, you know that the Communications Director is a senior adviser, it’s Kirkman you need to talk to, not me…”

Emily sighed.

“What?” Seth asked, not understanding why Emily suddenly felt so hopeless.  
“With everything going on, he will never accept someone he doesn’t know…” Emily explained.  
“Hey, I’ll back you up. We’ll see how it goes, we can try it.”  
“I guess…”  
“And if she doesn’t work at the White House, she’ll work somewhere else in D.C. Don’t worry, we have plenty of contacts to make her stay in town…”  
“You think so?”  
“I know so!”

Emily smiled softly. Seth always had the best words to reassure her. He truly had become an amazing friend over the few months they had worked together and she knew she could count on him for anything. She suddenly even wondered why she had not told him earlier about her pregnancy.

“Does Gemma know, that you want to hire her at the White House?” Seth asked.  
“No…”  
“Maybe you should start by asking her, don’t you think? And then we’ll go to Kirkman, okay?”  
“Thank you, Seth.” Emily smiled.  
“Hey, always there for you girl” he answered, taking her in his arms.

After a few minutes, Emily finally felt better and ready to tackle the rest of the day without a breakdown. Of course, she still couldn’t help but worry about her best friend leaving Washington, but she really hoped that Seth was right, and that they would find Gemma a job in town.

That evening, when Gemma learned Emily’s idea, it freaked her out. She was completely panicking at the idea of possibly working at the White House, but she also knew it was a chance that wouldn’t come twice in a lifetime. A few days after, Emily and Seth had talked to Kirkman, and Gemma had met the president afterwards, impressed by a man she admired. Tom Kirkman had been blown away by Gemma’s skills and state of mind, and had announced a few days later that he would give her a shot. Emily had let out a sigh of relief that she didn’t know she had been holding for days. Her best friend would not leave the town, and she would still be here for her, no matter what.


	4. Moving Together

A couple of weeks after Gemma’s hiring at the White House, the two best friends had decided to move in together. It was the red-haired who had offered the deal. It was easier for Emily who would be able to rely on her all the time when the baby would come, and they could also help each other through this. Emily had not felt very comfortable with Gemma’s offer, she felt that she was putting too much pressure on her best friend. But Gemma had very valid arguments that made her accept the offer after a few days, and especially after a hard day at the White House. She had come home past eleven at night, exhausted and annoyed by the terrible day she had had. Falling asleep on the couch even before changing into her pyjamas, she had been woken up at four in the morning by an emergency call. This had been way too much for her pregnant-sleep-deprived-caffeine-deprived body, and she had almost ended up fainting in her office. Phil had seen it, called Seth and Gemma, and she had been forced to admit her pregnancy to her deputy as well as to the President. She had begged all of them to keep it quiet, but she knew the secret was about to come out soon. She had started wearing looser clothes, but it wasn’t suitable for the White House and her bump was becoming clearer and clearer, no matter how much she could try to hide it. It was another step that was making her think of the choice she had made, and whether it was the right one or not. She had always been very self-conscious of people’s looks on her and of course, she could hear people talking behind her back. 

So that morning, just in her underwear, she was looking at herself in the mirror of her bathroom. She could clearly see the bump of her belly, and she couldn’t help but think about how everything would go. 

“Em, you’re here?” 

Gemma had entered Emily’s apartment and was now knocking at the bathroom door, waking Emily from her thoughts. She unlocked the door of the bathroom and opened the door for Gemma to come in. Looking again at herself in the mirror, she asked.

“Do I look pregnant?”  
“You are pregnant, Emily…” Gemma asserted.  
“I know… But…”  
“Em, at one point people will know. You won’t be able to hide it much longer…” Gemma continued.  
“People are already starting to talk…” Emily sighed.   
“I know, I work there now… I hear them too… Especially since not everybody knows yet that we are friends”  
“What should I do?” Emily asked.  
“What do you mean?” Gemma raised an eyebrow.   
“I didn’t want to say it, but clearly people won’t stop whispering behind my back.”  
“You should just stop hiding yourself behind loose clothes. Just wear what you usually wear, wear skirts and blouses that suit your figure. Be proud of yourself, be proud of your body changing. You are growing a baby, that’s beautiful, you shouldn’t hide it.”

A hormonal Emily suddenly burst into tears and hugged Gemma tight, letting her tears fall down her cheeks and on her best friend’s shoulder. Gemma was right, and hearing this out loud had made Emily cry. Hormones were making her crazy, on the verge of crying most of the time. 

“Em… You will be okay” Gemma whispered, running a hand in her best friend’s back.   
“Yeah?” Emma asked, needing a confirmation.  
“Yeah… I promise you will”

The two girls had found a 3-bedroom apartment not too far from the White House, which would allow them to avoid public transportation every day. They were excited to live together, it felt like they were back to college, being roommates and doing everything together. They had already packed most of the things they were taking to their new apartment. Actually, Gemma’s apartment was already empty, she had finished cleaning everything the day before, as it had been a slow day for her at the White House. Only Emily’s apartment needed to be cleaned, and the red-haired had planned to do most of the work. She knew that Emily was just 4 months pregnant, but she also knew that she was exhausted most of the time, both physically and mentally. She had already forbid Emily to lift any heavy box, and they had even asked professional movers to help them. Emily thought it was useless, they could do it on their own, especially since Seth had also offered his help, along with Phil and a couple of Gemma’s former colleagues. 

Around ten, Seth knocked at the door and hugged both girls before starting to help. Most of the work was to fill the boxes in, since everything would be transferred to their new apartment in the afternoon. Unlike Gemma and Emily though, Seth wasn’t really off that day, and he was called in at the White House before lunch. He came back just in time for food, and they decided to head to a fast-food not too far down the street, along with Phil that wanted to get out of the West Wing for an hour. They were all enjoying their lunch, laughing and saying stupid things when Emily suddenly choked on her bagel. 

“Em, you’re okay?” Gemma asked.  
“Huh, yeah… Huh…”

Emily’s heart was suddenly pounding, and that’s when Seth raised his head to see what was happening. Aaron had just come in with his cousin Nadia, right in the restaurant where they were. He couldn’t believe it, the former Chief of Staff, the father of Emily’s baby, was a few feet away from them, and of course, he had spotted them too. Gemma turned around to look at what Seth was looking, and realized who it was even though she had never personally met him. 

Aaron stopped in his track right in front of the group’s table and greeted them. Emily could feel her hands shaking and she decided to put them down on the table to try and calm herself. 

“Hey man!” Seth started, ready to make conversation to cover Emily’s embarrassment. 

Seth stood up and greeted Aaron, then Nadia who he knew a little, while Gemma and Emily were just sitting there, smiling awkwardly. Phil shook Aaron’s hand, but everybody could feel the tension in the conversation. 

“I don’t think you’ve ever met Nadia, my cousin.” Aaron introduced to the others. 

Emily took her courage to babble a few words

“Nice to meet you” she said, smiling awkwardly.   
“What are you doing here? I’ve never seen any of you around” Aaron inquired.  
“Yeah, we actually wanted to try the place. We’ve been talking about this for the past couple of weeks, and we were around since the girls are moving in a few streets away.” Seth answered.  
“Oh?” Aaron exclaimed, curious.  
“Yeah, Gemma and I are moving together, just like old times. We were roommates in college.” Emily explained, stuttering, as Aaron nodded.  
“You’re the new Communications Director of the White House, am I right? I knew I had seen you somewhere” Aaron asked directly Gemma.  
“That’s me, indeed” Gemma smiled.   
“Didn’t know you knew each other” Aaron continued.  
“Yeah, that’s a fifteen-year long story” Gemma answered.

Gemma was on the defensive. She was trying to hide it with a smile, but she wasn’t sure it was working, and clearly Aaron felt awkward at the way she had answered. Phil, not aware of Emily and Aaron’s past, couldn’t clearly understand what was going on, just like Nadia who was observing the interactions from a distance, not really sure what all of this was about. It was a strange mix, these six people together with all these secrets around in the air, not knowing who knew what and who didn’t know. It’s the Mexican-American brunette who decided to end up this awkward conversation quickly. 

“Aaron, we should get going. There are people in the line to order and we have to get back to the Capitol in half an hour…” Nadia commented, trying to find an excuse to get out of here.   
“Yeah, right. Sorry, have a good one guys” Aaron exclaimed before leaving the table. 

Emily let out a sigh she didn’t know she was holding. Gemma handed her hand above the table to hold her best friend’s, and Seth put his hand on her shoulder.

“You’re okay?” Gemma asked.  
“Yeah… Just uncomfortable…” she answered. 

To be honest, Phil wasn’t saying anything and was probably the one who felt the most uncomfortable in all of this. He didn’t know anything about Aaron and Emily’s relation, except for the fact that she clearly didn’t want to be around him since he was the one meeting Aaron every time. He even considered the possibility that Aaron had harassed Emily, but really hoped that if such a thing had happened, she wouldn’t have let him get away with this. 

“I feel that there are a lot of things that I don’t know, and that I probably shouldn’t know either…” he commented.  
“Don’t worry…” Gemma answered. “There are also a lot of things people don’t know but probably should, right Emily?” 

Emily knew very well what Gemma was referring to and shot her a death glare. Phil raised an eyebrow, understanding that there was a lot of unsaid in all of this, and Seth gave a faint smile, obviously agreeing with Gemma but not really sure it was the moment to talk about it. Emily was just exhausted by the pressure of her friends where putting on her to tell Aaron the truth. Couldn’t they realize how bad it was between Aaron and her? Why were they pressuring her like that? 

After lunch, Phil went back to the White House while Gemma, Seth and Emily headed to the girls’ new apartment to start unpacking things. A couple of Gemma’s colleagues showed up later in the day after work to help put together important things, and by eight, the girls could live in their apartment. Sure, there were still a lot of things to do, but their beds were made, the kitchen was organized, and the couch was were it was supposed to be in the middle of the living-room. Emily offered beers to everybody who had stayed while she continued to tidy up a little. She started putting books on her shelves, plugged the TV and started decorating a little. It’s not that they would spend much time here, but she knew that it felt good to come home to something that felt like home. Empty shelves and unhooked frames were not helping her feeling like home. By the time everybody left, Emily and Gemma looked at each other and sat on the couch, thinking about their college years and what was to come for them. Emily established rules on Gemma’s lifestyle as she knew very well that her best friend would invite guys over at one point or another. Gemma laughed, saying that those rules were for both of them, but for Emily, it seemed clear that her sex life, already almost nonexistent before her pregnancy, was forever gone now that she would raise a child on her own. 

“You know that children don’t actually prevent people from having sex, right?” Gemma said, a little tipsy.  
“It just makes it much harder. But don’t worry, I allow you to enjoy sex for both of us…” Emily chuckled.   
“Does that mean I can have double amount of sex?”  
“As long as you enjoy it, and I don’t actually hear anything just like when we were in college, do whatever you want.”  
“Sweet!” Gemma exclaimed. “I think I’m gonna love sharing an apartment with you.”  
“Don’t make me regret it…” Emily groaned.  
“I promise, I won’t!”


	5. The Rumor Mill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, just a little note to everyone reading my story. Thank you so much for the support, the kudos and comments. It means a lot. I hope you'll like this chapter!

“Hey, I had not noticed, but they are right in the hallways, she does look pregnant, doesn’t she?” 

Kimble Hookstraten was watching TV in her office as Emily Rhodes was appearing on there. It was rare enough to be noticeable, but Aaron, her Chief Strategist who was writing bullet points on the speech Tom Kirkman was delivering, was doing his best to stay focused. He knew Emily was right by the President, just as Seth was, and Gemma, the recently appointed Communications Director that he had awkwardly met a couple of weeks ago.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, surprised.  
“Emily Rhodes, she looks pregnant” she answered.  
“Huh...I don’t know. Is she?” Aaron asked.  
“Well, that’s what people say in the hallways, haven’t you heard?”  
“No... I try to avoid rumors...” he said, honest.  
“I didn’t know she was in a relationship...”

It was well known that Kimble Hookstraten was very curious. It could good be a good thing, it was definitely part of what had led her to being Speaker of the House. Her interest in everything had led her to knowing things she shouldn’t have, and had helped her getting on top of the Congress. But sometimes, curiosity was also her biggest drawback. She was sneaky and couldn’t stand not knowing what was happening.

“Did you know?” she asked, seeing he wasn’t planning on responding.  
“No… Why would I?”  
“Well, you worked closely with her, I’m sure you were talking about your personal lives…” Hookstraten said, a small grin appearing on her face.  
“We didn’t work together for long, we hardly had the time to talk about it…” Aaron deflected. 

Truth was he really didn’t know. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He was still lost in his personal life, he had fallen for Emily, the first woman after months —years— alone, but yet, she wasn’t talking to him anymore, she was avoiding him, and even worse, she had betrayed him… He dared glance at the TV and realized that Kimble Hookstraten was right, she looked pregnant. For having spent months with her at work, having slept with her, having seen her naked, he could definitely see that this bump wasn’t normal for Emily. 

“Do you know how far along she is?” he asked, suddenly curious.  
“Well, I remember a few weeks ago, I noticed she was wearing loose clothes, and that surprised me cause we all know women don’t wear that kind of clothes in the White House. And now, she’s back to wearing tight skirts, and it seems kinda clear now that she indeed is pregnant… So, I don’t know. About 3 or 4 months, maybe a little more? It depends on women you know… It’s usually easy to hide during the first trimester.”

Aaron didn’t answer, just mumbled something, but was suddenly withdrawing, doing the math. It was four months ago that he had been investigated by the FBI, four months ago that his life had suddenly fallen apart, four months ago he had had sex with Emily Rhodes… Could he… No, he didn’t want to think about this, it wasn’t possible, it couldn’t be possible. 

“Aaron, Aaron, are you okay?”

He was suddenly woken up from his thoughts by his boss. He must have been out long enough because she noticed something was going on. He had become as white as a sheet and was staring into space. 

“Yeah. Huh, sorry, I was just thinking about something. Let me go back to my office, I need to look at something…” Aaron lied.

He had just made up a bullshit excuse to exit Hookstraten’s office, but truth was he just really wasn’t feeling well. He was hot, he was sweating, his heartbeat had suddenly become faster. He couldn’t breathe normally. On his way out, he crossed path with Nadia and she could instantly see that something was wrong. 

“Aaron, wait!” she called in the middle of a hallway. 

Aaron didn’t even listen to her and just continued to walk fast toward the exit. He could hear her heels click behind him, but he just didn’t have the strength to turn around. He continued on his way toward the exit, and it’s only when he found a free bench at the corner of the street that he finally stopped, his breathing short and his hands shaking. He sat there, joined a few seconds later by Nadia who was trying to catch her breath from running in heels. 

“Aaron, what is going on?” Nadia finally said after a few seconds.  
“You heard the rumor?” Aaron asked, not ready to say anything yet…  
“Which one? I mean, we work on the Hill, there are dozens everyday…”  
“The one about Emily Rhodes” 

It was hurting so much just to say her name out loud.

“The White House Chief of Staff?” Nadia asked.  
“Yeah…”  
“Well, that doesn’t look like a rumor anymore… She definitely is pregnant.”  
“She didn’t look pregnant when we saw her a couple of weeks ago…” he stated.  
“She was wearing a large sweater… She could have been hiding it.”

Aaron didn’t say anything. He couldn’t stop thinking, his mind was racing. He could see his hands shaking, his heart was pounding. 

“Aaron, what is going on?”  
“Emily and I…” he started. “We had sex, a few months ago…” he finally said.  
“Wait… Are you?” Nadia suddenly exclaimed, but she couldn’t finish the sentence either.  
“I don’t know. But… That is definitely a possibility.”  
“Didn’t you… Use protection?” Nadia asked.  
“Nadia…” Aaron rolled his eyes. He felt like he was being lectured by his mom.  
“No, but I’m serious!” Nadia asked again.

Aaron grumbled. He really didn’t like talking about his sex life with Nadia. She was like his sister, the only girl of the family. They were only 6 months apart and had been raised together after Nadia’s mom had passed away when she was only 2 years old. He had been closer to her than to any of his three big brothers, but there were things he couldn’t talk about. 

“We did… Or at least I’m fairly confident we did. But I mean…”  
“Yeah, I get it.” Nadia waved off, understanding her cousin didn’t want to talk about it. 

They stayed quiet for a while, listening to the cars honking in the street, thinking about everything. At one point, Nadia put her head on her cousin’s shoulder, just like they would do when they were younger. 

“You should talk to her, you know…” she said suddenly.  
“She doesn’t even talk to me anymore…” Aaron sighed.  
“Yeah, I saw how awkward it was the other day, but you need to know. You cannot let that go. You need to know if you’re gonna be a father or not.”  
“Please, don’t say that out loud. I’m not ready for this…” 

This time, it was Nadia’s turn to sigh. She could definitely understand what Aaron meant. 

“Maybe you can ask her next time you see her. There is no point in rushing at the White House to talk…”  
“She won’t even see me. She’s carefully trying to avoid me since I resigned. I met her a few times only, she’s always busy with something else, most of the time she sends her deputy to meet me…”  
“Really? That is such a childish attitude…” Nadia said, annoyed and rolling her eyes.  
“Don’t say that… You don’t know what happened…” Aaron said, always defending Emily, even if he didn’t want to.  
“I know I don’t, I know I can’t. But, that has to do with you spending hours at the FBI right?” Nadia tried.

Aaron just nodded. What had happened was top secret, they both knew they couldn’t go into details. But Nadia was there when he had been interrogated by the FBI, she knew that it had happened, so this part wasn’t a secret. It actually wasn’t really a secret for anyone on the Hill, even though Seth had brushed everything off when he had been asked by a reporter if it was true. Everything surrounding Aaron’s departure had been pretty blurry and had led to a lot of rumors everywhere. 

“What are you gonna do, about everything?” she asked.  
“What do you want me to do? I don’t even know if it’s true or not…” Aaron answered.  
“But, what if it’s true… What if everything is true.”  
“I don’t know… I mean, she obviously doesn’t need me, otherwise she would have told me…”  
“If she hasn’t told you, she is such a bitch…”  
“Nadia…” Aaron scolded.  
“It’s true! No matter what happened, if she didn’t tell you, she’s a bitch. You deserve to know. You’re not a monster…”

Aaron sighed, he knew Nadia was right, but he was also already resigned. He didn’t want to think about it, he was too exhausted for this. 

About a mile from them, Emily was running in the hallways of the White House. The Kunami crisis was in full swing, and the looks on her since she had decided to stop wearing loose clothes were making stressing her. Everybody could see that she was pregnant, whispers behind her back were less than discreet and she was starting to be irritated by all of this. Work was her only distraction and she was bossy with everybody around her. 

“Seth!” she called entering his office without knocking. “I need to look at that statement.”  
“Yeah. Gemma and I are working on it, it should be ready soon…” he answered  
“Soon is not soon enough…” Emily grumbled.

Gemma glanced at her and noticed that something was wrong. 

“Emily…” she scolded.  
“What?”  
“What is going on?”  
“Nothing…” the Chief of Staff pouted.

Gemma looked at Seth and they both nodded, agreeing that Emily was lying.

“Okay, sit, now.” Gemma said, standing from her seat and forcing Emily to sit on Seth’s couch.  
“I don’t have the time for that…” she explained.  
“I don’t care, what is going on?”

Emily sighed and let go. Resting her head on the back of the couch, she finally explained what was bothering her.

“I’m just so tired of everybody whispering. I shouldn’t have listened to you Gemma, I should have kept wearing loose clothes…”  
“You know that even loose clothes won’t make everything, everybody will know sooner or later. Isn’t it better than they know now?”

Emily shook her head no. 

“Why?” Seth asked.  
“Because it means he’ll come talk to me…”  
“And you still don’t think that you should initiate this and go tell him? He will know… He has to know.” Gemma said.  
“I know him…” Seth continued. “You should tell him before he learns it by someone else. He will be hurt…”

Emily started getting angry. 

“How do you want me to tell him while I can’t even look at him without wanting to run away? Huh?” she almost yelled.  
“Easy there, tiger. Calm down…” Gemma tempered. “You cannot yell at us like that, it’s not our fault you have all this shit going on between the two of you.”  
“I never said it was your fault…” Emily answered, rolling her eyes.  
“Sort your shit out, Emily.” Gemma continued, serious. “Have you ever even talked, together, about everything?” 

Emily shook her head no, silent tears coming to her eyes. 

“I can’t, it’s just too hard…” Emily admitted.  
“It might be too hard, but you don’t have a choice. You need to tell him, soon now. Because he probably knows that you are pregnant, and he probably already did the math, and it’s only a matter of days, maybe weeks before he actually comes to you and asks you…” Gemma explained.  
“You know he will ask at some point or another. He’s not the type of guy to let that go, he will ask you, even if it takes time before he does.” Seth continued.  
“Maybe I should just lie to him…” Emily hinted.  
“ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Gemma and Seth exclaimed in the meantime.  
“What?”  
“Are you out of your mind?” Gemma continued.  
“Emily, you cannot do that, and Gemma and I can give you hundreds of reasons for that?” Seth said.  
“But I can’t!” Emily whined.  
“And you think it’s going to be easier to lie to him?” Gemma tried to guilty her.  
“Emily, look. You’re going to have a child together. Whether you actually are together or not is something that you two only can deal with. But you need to tell him the truth. You have to. You know what it was like to grow up without a father, do you really want that for your baby?” Seth argued.  
“It’s different.” Emily pouted.  
“How so? Because your father was with you until you were seven? What will you do in a few years, when the kid will ask you who is their father? Are you going to lie to your own kid too, saying that you don’t know?” Gemma said. 

Emily shrugged. 

“No matter what happens, we will be there for you, do you understand?” Gemma said as Seth nodded to her statement.

Emily nodded, a weak smile on her face. The hardest was to come, but she would always have her friends around to help.


	6. The Truth Has To Come Out

_Emily was in her office with Gemma and Seth when Phil knocked at her door._

_“Hey, Emily… Aaron Shore requested a meeting for tomorrow. He wants to talk about Hookstraten and... you know, the possibility for her to be VP…” Phil said, peering his head through Emily’s office._  
“Okay, huh… Can you do this?” she asked, definitely not wanting to see him.   
“No, no, no.” Gemma said, cutting Emily short and preventing her from answering. “Thank you Phil, Emily will go this time…”   
“Okay, sure…” the Deputy answered, leaving the three senior advisers in Emily’s office.   
“What? No! I can’t go!” Emily exclaimed.   
“Yes, you can, and you will…” Gemma continued.  
“Gemma, you know I can’t…”  
“Em, you have to tell him at some point…” Seth confirmed.   
“No, guys, seriously, I just can’t…”  
“Emily, we won’t do it for you…” Seth said. “You don’t have a choice…” 

_Emily almost started sobbing, suddenly anxious at the idea of being forced to meet Aaron because of Seth and Gemma._

_“Why?”_  
“Because, he has to know.” Gemma answered.   
“No, but why did you do that?”   
“Call that a friend’s intervention if you want, I don’t care. I’ll take you wherever you meet, I’ll wait around if I have to, but you’ll go and talk to him…” Gemma continued.  
“I hate you…”  
“I know you do, but it’s for your own good.” 

So here she was, pacing in front of the Jefferson memorial two days later. Walking back and forth, she was imagining all kind of scenarios in her mind. For the first time in months, she would meet Aaron in a one-to-one and she couldn’t help but be stressed about it. The weather was surprisingly warm today and she had let her coat open. Her pregnancy was more than obvious now, even for someone that was not looking with attention. She knew that Gemma was waiting for her on a parking lot not too far, but she still wanted to run away. She couldn’t stop thinking of how much she hated Gemma and Seth for forcing her to come to that meeting. She was in no way ready to meet Aaron.

As for him, he didn’t know that he would meet her. In the past five months, he had seen her only once or twice. She had always sent Phil instead of her when he requested a meeting. He had requested this one to talk about the Vice Presidency, and he was really hopeful he could make that happen for his boss. But when he saw the familiar shape of the woman pacing back and forth in front of the memorial, he stopped. He suddenly wasn’t confident anymore. His heart started beating faster, he wasn’t sure what to do or what to say. He almost considered standing her up, but he knew he couldn’t do that, it wasn’t professional. So, after a long pause and a deep breath, he decided to walk the remaining distance from her, hiding his shaking hands in the pockets of his coat. 

“Emily…” he called softly. 

She turned around when she heard her name. She knew it was him, she could recognize his voice among thousands. It had always sent shivers down her spine and this time was no exception.

“Aaron… hey” she answered, a weak smile on her face.   
“I didn’t think I would see you.” he said, honest.  
“Yeah, I know… It’s been a while. It’s a slow day at the White House…” she lied.

Aaron just nodded, and they didn’t have anything to say anymore. The bump of her belly was so clear he couldn’t help but glance at it, even if he didn’t want to. He almost wanted to congratulate her, but that would trigger the only subject he really didn’t want to talk about. It was awkward, they could feel the tension between and they were both trying to find something to say, something to do.

“Wanna walk a bit?” she offered.   
“Sure…”

They started talking about work —the only topic they could talk about not too awkwardly— walking slowly and almost peacefully. Thank God, it was a beautiful day. At least, they could walk outside, look at the birds singing and the flowers blossoming. Neither one of them could have stand facing each other in an office. Emily’s hands were in her pockets, and she couldn’t help but dig her nails in her palms. She was biting her lower lip every time that she was not talking. She could feel that Aaron wasn’t really comfortable either, she could hear it in his shaky voice, in the way he was clearing his throat. She was really doing her best not to freak out, not to run away and to stay professional, but it was Aaron she was talking to, it was just too hard. 

“So, I heard that Kirkman needed a push for his gun reform?” he said.  
“Yeah, but it’s not exactly a secret that Democrats are outnumbered in the Senate…”  
“Kirkman is an Independent, he can appeal to pretty much every one with the right help…”  
“What do you suggest?”   
“I think we could help…”  
“Hookstraten? Help? She’s the Speaker… of the House…”  
“She is, but you know there are a few soft spots in the Senate, if they know that the time of election, they have someone to back them up, I’m sure they wouldn’t oppose a gun reform…”  
“You’re trying to pave her the way to the Vice Presidency, aren’t you?”

Aaron didn’t even answer, he just smirked, but he knew that Emily had seen it. Talking about work was in his territory, it felt safer and he wasn’t sure he wanted to stop. But he also knew that he had to address a very important topic, a very personal one. He just wasn’t sure how to do it, he wasn’t sure he could. 

_“Aaron, you have to ask her…” Nadia said, one evening._  
“I know, but how do you want me to ask that. ‘Hey hi, remember that night we had sex, am I the father of your unborn child?’ Come on, Nadia. It’s not that simple…”  
“It’s not, but you deserve to know if you are going to be a father or not. I deserve to know if I’m going to be an aunt or not!” she chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.  
“And when should I do that, huh? I’m not going to go knock at the White House and corner her in her office to ask her… Do I have to remind you that she doesn’t talk to me anymore?” 

_It had been a couple of weeks since Aaron had learned Emily’s pregnancy, and the least he could say was that he had not stopped thinking about it._

_“Aaron, you have dark rings under your eyes. I can see that you aren’t sleeping well. I can see that you’re not thinking about anything else than the possibility that you are the father of her child. You need at least to know. Then you’ll see what you decide.”_  
“What I decide?” Aaron questioned, not sure he understood well what Nadia was saying.  
“If you want to be a part of this baby’s life of not…”  
“Cause you really think that if ever, I am the father, I’m just going to let her deal with this on her own. This will change everything, my whole life is going to be turned upside down…”  
“So, you’re actually saying that you prefer not to know?”  
“No, I’m not saying that… I’m just freaking out at the idea I could be a father…”  
“You would be a great father, I am sure of this…” Nadia sat, patting his shoulder.  
“How do you know that?” he asked.  
“Because you are the most caring man in the world. You were always there for me when I was a child, you’re more of a brother than a cousin to me, you know that…”  
“It’s different… Like you said: brother, not father”   
“How so? You’ve been there for me your whole life, taking care of me, always being sure that everything was fine… I know it wasn’t because you felt pity for me losing my mom…”  
“It wasn’t…”  
“That’s what I’m saying. You’re the most caring man I’ve ever known. Even your brothers aren’t like that…”  
“They are older, way older than us… They were already very independent when we were born.”  
“Whatever, that doesn’t change a thing. You need to ask her…” 

Emily offered to sit on a bench facing the water. She loved walking, but she had to say that walking in heels wasn’t very comfortable, especially now that she could start feeling the weight on her back. Aaron sat next to her, looking in the same direction than her, not daring to look at her. 

“Em, can I ask you a question?” Aaron suddenly asked, his voice shaky.

Emily felt the change of tone in his voice. He sounded more serious, worried, he sounded scared almost. She knew what it meant, she knew what the question was. 

“I think I know what you want to ask” she sighed, not daring to look at him either. “I am five months along, almost six now.”

She didn’t want to say it, she was trying to avoid the question, but she knew it was coming. There was no turning back now. Silence was the only thing she could hear as Aaron started doing the math, but whichever way he was taking it, it was always leading to the same result.

“Is it…” he started. “Am I?”

He couldn’t bring himself to say out loud the word “father”, not in front of Emily, not at all. 

“Yes.”

There was a silence. A deafening silence. A silence so loud that the world could have stopped turning. Aaron gulped, Emily’s answer ringing in his head like an echo, he could feel his hands shaking and gripped to the bench, holding onto it. His heart was pounding. 

“Before you ask…” she continued. “No, there isn’t a doubt it’s yours. It’s not as if I really had the time to have a personal life, and…”

Emily didn’t even finish her sentence. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to say, and there wasn’t a point in finishing it anyway. She had finally told the truth. She was starting to sniff, she could feel the tears coming to her eyes, ready to fall down her cheeks. She was trying really hard not to cry in front of Aaron, but it was just too hard, the tears were already starting to silently fall down her cheeks. She was waiting patiently for his next word, his next comment, but it wasn’t coming. Aaron was speechless, he couldn’t say anything and this was worrying her. He wasn’t moving either. He could feel the lump in his throat. He didn’t know what to do, what to say, just trying to process what was happening.

“Say something… please” she begged after a few seconds of silence.   
“Why… didn’t you tell me?” he asked. 

The question had come like a murmur, his voice was low as if he didn’t want to hear himself speaking. As if all of this was just a nightmare he could wake up from. He still had not dared looking at Emily, but he could hear her sniffing, she wasn’t even trying to hide her cries anymore. 

“I…” she sighed. “I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you… after everything…” she said.  
“Is this why you’ve been avoiding me for all these months?”   
“Partly yeah, but even before that, before I learned I was pregnant, I just couldn’t see you, not after how you left the White House, after I investigated you, after what happened between us…”  
“What made you decide to see me then?” he asked.  
“Gemma and Seth, they forced me to see you, to tell you…”

Without wanting to, Emily’s last comment had come like a slap in Aaron’s face. He suddenly realized that Seth knew all along that he was the father of Emily’s baby, but didn’t tell him. His friend, his only friend in the White House had lied to him, and he suddenly didn’t know which betrayal was the worst, between Emily’s and Seth’s. 

“Were you planning to tell me, one day?”  
“I don’t know, probably not. I early came to the conclusion that I would be a single mother, just like my mom. I just convinced myself that I would do it alone and that I didn’t need anyone. I didn’t want to put that weight on you either.”  
“And you never thought that I had a right to know?”  
“I don’t know. I guess you do… No, I’m sure you do. But what does it change? It’s not as if we’re getting together to raise that baby or anything. I’m still going to do it all alone…”

Aaron shook his head no. 

“Do you think so little of me to imagine that I wouldn’t even help you with that baby, that I wouldn’t want to be a part of that baby’s life?” he asked, his toneless voice about to break.  
“I’m sorry, Aaron…” she said.

She had said it with all the strength and truth she was capable of. It was coming from the bottom of her heart, she was truly sorry she had not told him. But she knew that it was too late. 

“I have to get going…” he suddenly said, rising from his seat and finally looking at Emily, daring to glance at her belly. “I’ll… keep in touch I guess…”

He turned his back to her and didn’t let her the time to say anything. Leaving her there, she had murmured his name, but he didn’t hear it. He was dumbfounded, stunned. His mind was racing, trying to process everything, but he just couldn’t. He would be a father in less than four months, and Emily had not told him. There was a mix of anger, hate and sadness in his heart that he couldn’t really describe. He didn’t even cry once, he didn’t flinch once either. He walked the fifty minutes back to his office, but Kimble Hookstraten quickly realized something was wrong and sent him home, thinking he was sick. So that’s what he did, and arriving there, he lied on his couch, the light off and the silence deafening, and just took a beer out of the fridge. Later in the evening, he took another one, and again another. He was tired, but that’s all he could feel.


	7. Going Down

“Miss Espinoza, hello…”   
“Speaker Hookstraten, what can I do for you?” Nadia said, surprised to see the Speaker in her office.  
“Have you seen Aaron lately?” Kimble asked.  
“I haven’t. Is there a problem?” Nadia answered, raising an eyebrow.   
“He didn’t show up this morning and he doesn’t answer his phone. He seemed a little off yesterday afternoon, so I’m just wondering if everything is fine…”

It was already ten in the morning and Aaron was nowhere to be found. He was not at work, which was in itself weird enough to be noticeable, but he had not called in sick either. 

“Huh… I’ll go to his place, see if everything is fine. I’ll keep you updated?” Nadia offered, already putting her coat on.  
“Yes, thank you Nadia…”

Aaron’s cousin left her office quickly, going straight to his apartment. She didn’t even take the time to ask her boss, Congresswoman Yoshida, to leave for an hour because she was just too worried for her cousin. Aaron wasn’t the type to show up late at work. He wasn’t the type not to show up at all. Running up the stairs to the third floor of his apartment, she knocked once, she knocked twice, calling Aaron from the door, but he didn’t answer. She knew she had a key somewhere in her purse and rummaged through it for what seemed like an eternity before being able to find it. Opening the door didn’t make her worry fade: The blinds were still pulled and empty bottles were lying on the ground. 

“Aaron?” Nadia called.

She heard a groan on the couch and walked toward it to find her cousin, not awake and trying to sober up from the enormous amount of alcohol he had drunk the previous evening. He was still wearing his shirt and pants from the previous day, his tie undone. Nadia squatted down next to him, her hand on his arm to try and wake him up.

“Aaron, hey, it’s me, Nadia. What is going on?”

Another groan was the only answer she received, so she decided to stand up and clear a bit the mess he had left. Sighing, she started taking the bottles away, counting and realizing that he had drunk much more than she even imagined. Beer, vodka, tequila, he had tried pretty much everything, definitely in need to forget something. When she opened the blinds, she heard him groan again and she walked back toward him, sitting on the armrest of the couch.

“Aaron, you need to wake up. What is going on?”

He finally opened his eyes, but closed them back straightaway as he was blinded by the sun peeking through the windows.

Truth was, Nadia had a pretty good idea of what was going on. She didn’t need to know to actually understand what it was all about. He had spent the past few weeks worrying, thinking about Emily’s pregnancy and the possibility that he was the father of her baby. They had talked about it several times, she knew what he was feeling, and the state he was in right now was the proof he had finally talked to Emily. And that he was going to be a father. 

Aaron rolled on his back, nearly falling off the couch. 

“Wanna talk?” she asked. 

He groaned again, and she stood up to get some Tylenol and a bottle of water. Coming back, she forced him to take it.

“Drink up, come on.” 

Aaron finally sat up on the couch, his hand rubbing his face to try and wake up. 

“So…” Nadia said, trying to start the conversation.   
“I hate her…” he finally spoke.   
“You saw her?” 

Aaron nodded.

“And she told you you’re the father?”

Aaron nodded again. 

“I’m sorry…”

Aaron shrugged. He didn’t know what to say. Nadia didn’t have to feel sorry, of course, it wasn’t her fault. But she was feeling compassionate for him. She couldn’t even imagine what it was to learn like that you would be a parent in a few months, knowing that you had been lied to for the past few months. 

“What are you going to do?” she asked.  
“I don’t know. Throw her under a bus, literally…” he said, his voice hoarse.  
“Aaron…” Nadia scolded. 

Of course, Aaron wouldn’t. He wasn’t even capable of doing such a thing. But the hole in his heart was just too deep right now for him to think about anything else. 

“Seth knew…” Aaron murmured.  
“What?”  
“He knew, and he didn’t tell me.”  
“Well, he works with her, of course he knew that she was pregnant”

Aaron shook his head no.

“No, he knew that it was mine…”  
“Oh…”

Nadia didn’t know what else to say. She was suddenly stunned. She knew that Aaron and Seth were close, that they were talking often and trying to keep in touch as much as possible now that they were not working together anymore. 

“I don’t know what hurts the most…” Aaron finally admitted. 

Nadia didn’t know what to answer, she sat closer to him and put her head on his shoulder. 

“Maybe you should take a few days off, go away and think of something else. Don’t you think?” Nadia offered.  
“To come back and face them all, all these fucking liars…” Aaron grumbled.   
“You’re gonna have to, at some point…” Nadia commented.

Aaron grumbled again, not wanting to imagine his next meeting with Seth or Emily or anyone at the White House. 

“You know what time it is?” Nadia questioned.  
“No…”   
“It’s past eleven… Your boss came to my office cause she was worried you didn’t show up.”

Aaron sighed. His head was pounding despite the Tylenol his cousin had given him. He was exhausted and couldn’t think about work. 

“Fuck…” he said.  
“Yeah… You should probably call in sick. And take a few days off. You really look like shit anyway…”

Aaron nodded, he didn’t even have the courage to respond to Nadia’s comment. 

After making sure that he was feeling a little better, Nadia decided to leave him alone, but instead of going back to the Capitol, she went straight to the White House. It didn’t take her long to get in since she had her Capitol credentials with her and she walked to the Press Secretary’s office as soon as security allowed her to get in. By chance, Seth was in his office at the moment, and she just closed the door before letting him any chance to say something.

“How dare you?” she accused.  
“Nadia?” Seth raised his head, surprised to see her in his office.  
“Why didn’t you tell him? You’re his friend…” she said sharply.

Seth sighed. Of course he knew what she was referring to. 

“I couldn’t, it’s not my place to tell him the news…”   
“Do you know how he’s feeling right now? He’s a freaking mess. He didn’t show up to work this morning and he’s definitely in no state of coming to work. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that...” Nadia explained.   
“Nadia… I did all I could for Emily to tell him sooner…” Seth tried.   
“And what would you have done, if she had not told him? Would you have left him in the dark all his life? Huh?”  
“Of course not…”  
“Honestly Seth, after everything that happened, I thought that you were smarter than to take a side. Especially when it comes to things so important…”  
“Nadia…”  
“No, I don’t want to hear anything. You disappointed me as much as you disappointed him.”

Nadia didn’t let him answer, she just left his office in a fury, pissed at Seth, worried for Aaron. She texted his cousin to know if he was feeling better, but a sick emoji was just what he answered. She sighed, of course he was sick, he was still sobering up, and he was emotionally a wreck. She didn’t have the time to come back to his place, but she decided that she would come back in the evening to take care of him.

Nadia’s appearance at the White House made Seth think. He realized that he could probably have done more, even though he was still convinced he couldn’t have told Aaron that he was the father of Emily’s baby. He was sad for his friend though, of course he was. He hated himself for leaving him in such a bad place. A quick look at the clock made him realize that it was already lunch time and he decided to head out. He went to the takeout not far from the White House where he and Aaron were regulars back in the time he was still the Chief of Staff. Of course, Seth knew where Aaron was living and, his hands full, he decided to make amend to his friend, bringing food over.

“Go away, Nadia…” Aaron yelled when he heard the knock at his door.   
“It’s me, Seth…” the Press Secretary said, entering his friend’s apartment. 

Aaron looked up from the couch to see the person he once considered his friend. 

“No, just no… Just get out of here, I don’t want to see you.”  
“Aaron…” Seth pleaded, walking toward him.  
“You fucking bastard, you above everybody else, you lied to me. How could you?” Aaron spat.  
“Can we talk?” Seth offered.  
“Did you seriously bring food over? Did you really think that paying for lunch would be enough?”  
“Of course not, Aaron…”

Seth sat on a chair next to Aaron. 

“I didn’t say you could sit.”

Seth ignored Aaron’s remark and just stayed there.

“I know I should have told you…” Seth started.

Aaron wanted to say something, but Seth cut him short, forcing him to keep quiet.

“It wasn’t my place to tell you. I tried to make her talk to you more than once. Ever since I discovered she was pregnant, I tried to make her talk, I tried to make her go to you. You know how stubborn she is, it’s not as if she would actually listen to me, or to anyone else actually. She wanted to send Phil again yesterday. Gemma and I forced her to go, Gemma actually took her to your meeting, she waited for her, to be sure that she wouldn’t run away. I know, I can say hundreds of time that I am sorry, it won’t change a thing, I screwed up. I should have done more, but I couldn’t tell you that. It just wasn’t my place…”  
“How would you have taken it, if you were in my shoes?” Aaron asked.  
“As bad as you, probably…” Seth answered honestly. 

Aaron didn’t answer for a while, just thinking about it. 

“Okay, you can stay and eat. But that doesn’t mean I forgive you… I’m just hungry.” Aaron said after long seconds of silence.   
“That’s the Aaron I know!” Seth exclaimed, knowing very well that Aaron was always hungry. 

Over food, Seth continued to talk a bit and Aaron finally allowed himself to ask questions. Aaron was bitter, angry and sad in the meantime, but having Seth to talk to was feeling good. And Seth was relieved too, that finally he could speak to his friend about everything.

After lunch, Seth left Aaron alone to think, and the Chief Strategist finally decided to call Hookstraten to ask for a few days off. He was feeling a little better, enough to at least have a conversation with his boss. He lied, just saying that he was sick, but truth was that after his behavior yesterday afternoon, she didn’t really imagine he could actually lie. He called Ryan, the womanizer he considered his best friend from college, and decided to book a flight to California, where he was living. He desperately needed a break, to think of something else, and to just party very far away from that austere and political town he was living in.


	8. The Backlash of Your Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! I've seen all the kudos on this story, and I just wanted to thank all of you for liking my story, it makes me super happy every time I get an email saying that someone left a kudo/comment on my story. Thanks a lot, and I hope you will like this new chapter!

_“You are a fucking liar, you are a terrible person, and I wish I never met you. Ever since we met, you never stopped betraying me and playing with my feelings. I hope I’ll never see you again. You know what, Emily? You can go to hell…”_

Saying that Aaron was drunk when he called Emily and left that voicemail was an understatement. It’s only the morning after, his head pounding and in a bed he didn’t know, that he realized that he had called her. He murmured a _‘Fuck’_ before turning his head to the other side of the bed, looking at the naked blonde girl whose name he had forgotten, fast asleep beside him. Not making a noise, he slipped out of bed and quickly got dressed, leaving the place before the unknown girl could wake up.

During more than a week, Ryan had taken Aaron under his wing, pushing him to forget Emily and the baby every way he could. That had included partying hard and drinking a lot of alcohol. That had also included a lot of hating and a lot of sex with any girl on Aaron’s path. That voicemail he had left on Emily’s phone was just the culmination of that week of debauchery and craziness. He couldn’t even remember what he had said, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He knew that sooner rather than later, he would have to deal with the consequences of it, especially when he would have to meet Emily in Washington after coming back home. 

These few days in Los Angeles had just been a throwback to their college years in Texas. Saying that Ryan and Aaron had painted the town red when they had met was an understatement. Girl after girl, party after party, football game after football game, they had done everything they could in four years. After graduating, Aaron had moved to Washington to pursue a career in politics, and had of course calmed down a lot. On the contrary, Ryan had stayed the same. Fifteen years later, he was still refusing to settle down with a woman, enjoying the money he was making every day with his real estate agency, driving the latest convertible in town and owning the biggest and brightest house uptown Los Angeles. And as much as Aaron disapproved of Ryan’s way of life, he could definitely admit that sometimes it felt good to get away from everything. Though, time was flying and after ten days in California, it was already time to go back home for Aaron. 

While he was in California, an article about Kimble Hookstraten’s trip to Turkey had been released and the House Ethics Committee had quickly decided to investigate it. Aaron had wanted to do something about it, but it was already too late when he heard the news, and the odds definitely were now not in their favor. It was Kimble’s last day as a Speaker for sure, as the Ethics Committee would vote for her removal at the end of the day. Back from Los Angeles and feeling refreshed, Aaron arrived, as usual, earlier than everybody else, and went straight to his boss’s office. 

“Madam Speaker…” he said, knocking at her door.  
“You’re probably the last one to call me like that…” Kimble chuckled bitterly.  
“I heard…” he answered awkwardly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there…”  
“To be fair, Aaron, I don’t think you could have done much more. That story would have come out with or without you here…” she admitted as Aaron nodded.  
“So, what’s next for you? Is there a way I can help you?”

Hookstraten shrugged. It was so unusual for her to shrug that it took Aaron by surprise, not really sure what it meant. They talked for a little bit, knowing that it was their last day working together, but they were soon asked for a meeting at the White House. Tom Kirkman wanted to know how everything was looking in that investigation. After all he had wanted Kimble as his Vice President, even if he knew now that it would not happen. Aaron bit his lip as he realized he would have to go to the White House sooner than he wanted to, but quickly regained his professional demeanor, knowing that he couldn’t show any emotion in front of anyone in Washington. 

Arriving at the White House, Aaron quickly headed to Seth’s office while Kimble walked to her private meeting with Tom Kirkman. Aaron was still disappointed that the Press Secretary didn’t tell him about Emily’s baby, but he was trying to make peace with the idea. He knew he had to get over it, and truth be told, his few days in California had made him reconsider things a lot. 

He was just reaching for Seth’s office when he saw Gemma walk toward him like a fury, fire in her eyes and anger in her voice.

“How dare you?” Gemma yelled at him, pointing her finger at him.  
“What? What are you talking about?” Aaron asked surprised, taking a step back.

To be honest, he really didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. It didn’t even come cross his mind that his angry voicemail could be the reason of Gemma’s anger.

“How dare you show up in that building, after what you said to Emily!” she repeated, still angry.  
“Woah…” Aaron tried to temper. “Slow down. First, why are you yelling in the hallways of the White House, and second, that’s none of your business…”

Aaron was trying to stay calm in front of Gemma, but her sudden aggression was utterly annoying him, He suddenly wasn’t sure he would stay calm very long. Coming back to D.C., he had decided to wear a mask and act as if nothing could break him, building his walls up to protect himself from the rest of the world and prevent his emotions from failing him, but he had not been prepared to be hit like that so fast.

“First, unlike you I work in that building so I do whatever I want, and second it’s my business from the moment it hits my best friend. And you know why? Because she spent a full night crying after your stupid voicemail. She’s tired, pregnant and hormonal, she doesn’t need you to be an asshole!”

Aaron took a deep breath, and looking to his right, realized he was just next to Seth’s office. He took Gemma by the arm and pulled her inside the Press Secretary’s office. Seth was inside, but of course had stopped working since everybody could hear them yelling in the hallway.

“It’s not my fault if Emily decided to be a bitch and hide the fact that I was going to be a father.” Aaron said sternly after closing the door. “I know that my voicemail was probably a little harsh, but she fucking lied to me for 6 months, and this is her fault and her fault only. So I don’t care what you think, I don’t care that you are her best friend, and I don’t care that I hurt her. She hurt me too, and what she did to me is much worse than a stupid voicemail.” 

Aaron was towering over Gemma, his look was furious, his eyes dark. He was frowning and his voice was low and serious. The usually very instinctive red-haired was suddenly feeling very small facing Aaron and his stature. She dared open her mouth to add something, but before any word could come out, she was cut short by Aaron. He was looking in her eyes, defying her to say something to him. 

“Also, Emily is a grown up, she doesn’t need a lapdog to defend herself, and I really hope that she can get over a stupid voicemail on her own, because otherwise I’m really worried for Kirkman’s administration. And please, for further notice, stop barking at me like that, because it is something I really don’t appreciate.”

Gemma felt so small facing Aaron she didn’t know what to say anymore. He had his hand of the handle of Seth’s door. Opening it, he invited her to exit the room, and then closed it again, finally allowing himself to breathe. Seth had stayed quiet at his desk the whole time, knowing better than to intervene between his friend and his colleague. He still hated himself for hiding Aaron that he was going to be a father, so he didn’t want to make things worse now that Aaron seemed to come to terms with the idea.

“Need a drink?” Seth asked as Aaron turned toward Seth.  
“Yes, please. How do you stand working with her? She’s insufferable…” Aaron groaned, rolling his eyes. 

Aaron sat in a chair opposite Seth’s desk as the Press Secretary took two glasses and the bottle of scotch from his drawer.

“She’s not that bad actually. She’s just always on the defensive when it comes to Emily…”  
“I didn’t know Emily needed a puppy to defend herself…”  
“Aaron…” Seth scolded.  
“What!” Aaron exclaimed. “It’s true, she just barked at me like that, and in the middle of the hallway. I don’t need everyone to know that I have a complicated relation with Emily…”  
“As if you actually had any relation with her…” Seth chuckled, rolling his eyes.  
“Well, it’s not my fault…” Aaron grumbled.

Seth raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced by Aaron’s latest comment.

“It’s true!” Aaron protested.  
“I’m actually pretty sure it’s both your fault, but yeah, continue to be stubborn…”  
“She investigated me, I didn’t…”  
“She what?” Seth asked, surprised.  
“Wait, what? You didn’t know?”

Seth shook his head and Aaron realized that Emily had never told him she had investigated him for treason, and that’s how he ended up being interrogated by the FBI. Aaron probably shouldn’t have told Seth to be honest, it was going to make the Press Secretary’s life much more complicated, but he had security clearance, which made it possible for Aaron to tell Seth. He didn’t really care anyway, he was rightly convinced that Emily had told Gemma too, and probably even before the newly appointed Communications Director had the proper clearance. 

“She investigated me for treason, that’s why I ended up at the FBI a few months back…”  
“Fuck…” Seth answered, speechless.  
“Yeah, you can say that…”  
“How did that happen?”  
“Kirkman asked her to do that… Because I had security clearance in the Richmond administration and they were sure there was a mole in the White House.”  
“So, that’s why you fell out.”  
“Yeah…” Aaron admitted. “ But she’s the one who thinks I don’t want to talk to her…”  
“Do you, though?”  
“I mean…” Aaron hesitated. “It’s pretty awkward, I know. But she never even tried to talk to me, to ease tensions between us. She just made her mind that I hated her and that I would never talk to her, and that’s all… Well, that was until a couple of weeks ago…”  
“Yeah, and now you don’t want to talk to her…”  
“I want to make peace with her, because I want to know and see my child grow up, but I mean, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust her anymore.”

Seth sighed, understanding completely what Aaron meant. He realized that Emily got riled up a little too much, and that with time, the new and the former Chief of Staff could have talked and gotten things straight.

“Where is she, by the way?” Aaron asked.  
“Where do you think she is? She knows that Hookstraten is here, so…”  
“Hiding in her office?”

Seth nodded. Of course Emily was hiding in her office. She didn’t want to risk seeing Aaron, not after everything, not after that voicemail he had left a few days ago. They both knew that one day or another, they would have to talk about everything and set things straight, but it was still too new for both of them. They still needed to clear their heads before they could say something to each other. 

“What did you say, on that voicemail by the way?” Seth suddenly asked.  
“I don’t know to be honest… I was pretty smashed…” Aaron answered, ashamed.  
“Where were you anyway?”  
“L.A… Spent time with my college best friend… Good old times”  
“Oh…” Seth exclaimed. “I see…” he chuckled.  
“If only I could have more than clouded memories of that week, that would be nice though…”  
“That bad?”

Aaron just nodded.

“How many?” Seth asked, a little curious suddenly.  
“What?”  
“Girls… I mean, there’s no ‘good old times’ without banging girls, not knowing their names and leaving a fake phone number in the morning….” Seth laughed at Aaron.  
“More than in my 12 years in Washington I think…” Aaron hissed, not really sure.

Seth laughed. 

“Woah, you didn’t pull any punches…” the Press Secretary continued.  
“Shut up…” Aaron chuckled. “I would say I’d wish to forget that week, but I already don’t remember much so…” 

Aaron finished his drink in silence and then headed outside with Seth to wait for Kimble Hookstraten. He could probably have waited for her in front of the Oval Office, but he knew that it meant crossing Emily’s path and he wasn’t sure he wanted another fight after that little spat between Gemma and him, arguing in front of everybody. 

At the end of the day, Aaron was left without a job after Kimble Hookstraten was officially voted out by the House Ethics Committee. Seeing how things were unfolding, Kimble Hookstraten had pulled the last few strings she could in the House to earn another year of funding for art education. It was Aaron and Kimble’s last fight, and they had won. This was something Tom Kirkman was really happy about, as it was a promise he made to President Richmond’s son after meeting him. 

Kimble Hookstraten had not even done that for fame or in hope she would get anything in return. She had a lot of flaws, that was for sure, but greed wasn’t one of them. She truly believed in what she was doing, and truly believed she was doing the best for her people. That was something Tom Kirkman and her were sharing. He had been touched that she pulled those last few strings to get the art education refund, and he had offered her the position of Secretary of Education. She had of course accepted. It wasn’t the Vice Presidency, but it was something she truly believed in and she had offered Aaron to follow her as her Chief of Staff, but after navigating around the White House for so long, the Secretary of Education sort of felt like the minor leagues for him. He had declined the offer and, for the second time in only a few months, was jobless again. 

“Aaron…” 

Aaron turned around to see Tom Kirkman calling him after a ceremony they had both attended at the White House. 

“Mr. President?”  
“What are your plans, for the future?” the President asked.  
“I don’t know yet. I’ll take the time to think about it. In Washington, I hope. ”

Truth was, Aaron was thinking about Emily and the baby. Even though he had learned only a couple of weeks ago he was going to be a father, of course it was changing things. He could put everything into perspective now and was convinced he couldn’t leave Washington D.C., that he should stay and know his child.

“How about coming back to work for me?” Tom Kirkman asked.  
“I’m sorry Sir, but my position’s been filled.”  
“We’ll make another one for you!”  
“You can’t…”  
“Come on, Aaron. I want you by my side. I know it hasn’t been easy, there are things I shouldn’t have done, but I truly want you to work for me…”

Aaron considered the offer. Of course, it wouldn’t be the position of Chief of Staff, but he truly believed that Tom Kirkman would find him a good job. He had no doubt about that, and that meant he could stay in Washington, near Emily, even if they weren’t even talking. 

“So, what do you say, Aaron?” Tom Kirkman asked.  
“I say… that I serve at the pleasure of the President.” Aaron answered, smiling and shaking the President’s hand.  
“Welcome back, Aaron”


	9. Forgiving

_“Can we talk?”_  
-Aaron

_"If you’re going to lash out at me again, no thank you…”_  
-Emily

_“Actually no, I want to apologize. And also, I don’t know if Kirkman told you yet, but I’m back at the White House. So, I’d like for us to settle things a little. We’re going to work together again...”_  
-Aaron 

Emily sighed when she read Aaron’s latest text. Deep inside, she knew it would come. Of course it would. She had learned a couple of days ago that he would be back at the White House soon, and she couldn’t say she was thrilled about it. _‘Fuck’_ she thought. _‘What am I gonna do now?’_ She really didn’t know how she could be working with the father of her baby. He was hating her, which she could understand since she had waited almost six months to announce him he was going to be a father, and she hated him, which he could understand, since he had insulted her in an angry drunk voicemail. She thought about it for a while, fidgeting with her phone and sitting on the couch of her living room, a pillow in her back and her feet propped up on the coffee table to relieve her from the pain in her legs. Being almost seven months pregnant and running everywhere in the White House wasn’t a walk in the park. Being almost seven months pregnant and fighting with the father of her baby wasn’t either. He was right though, they needed to settle things, they needed to talk and finally think of a way to ease tensions. Plus, he seemed more than willing to have a role in this baby’s life, which meant that they needed to discuss everything at some point or another. She wasn’t really sure how everything would work out, but they had to work things out. Thinking longly, she finally replied.

_"Gemma’s out. She won’t be home before a while. Do you want to come over?"_  
-Emily

The problem with Emily’s offer was that Aaron really felt trapped. He had hoped to see Emily in a neutral environment, and definitely not in a place where he could be ambushed by the fury bulldog —as he called Gemma— any time. Truth be told, Gemma’s scene a few days back had scared him a little. He was afraid of her temper, and he really didn’t feel comfortable being in a place where she could come in anytime. He considered his options for a while before actually answering. Biting his lip and tapping his foot on the floor, pacing in his apartment, he realized soon enough though that he should probably not push his luck too much.

_"Ok. Text me the address, I’ll be there in a few."_  
-Aaron 

He sighed very loudly more than once before actually deciding to go out. His heart was pounding, he suddenly wasn’t sure it was such a good idea anymore. Going through so many emotions in such a short time was really hard for him. In less than a week, he had lost his job, found a new one, and was now trying to make amend with his colleague-again, the mother of his child, his former lover, the person who had betrayed him, or whatever else they were.

Emily wasn’t living very far from his place. With or without wanting to, she had even gotten closer to his place when she had moved in a new apartment with Gemma. Only a five-minute drive from his, it was very easy to access and way too soon, Aaron was founding himself knocking on Emily’s door. His heart was pounding as he was waiting for Emily to answer. He didn’t really know how to behave and was digging his nails in the palms on his hands, his heart was beating fast, he was stressed to see her again. 

“Hey…” she said, opening the door and letting him come in. 

Emily could see the hesitation in Aaron’s moves. He was biting his lower lip like he often did when he didn’t know how to act. She couldn’t say she was very comfortable either though. She had not seen him since she had told him that he was the father of her unborn child and her heart was pounding, not really of what she expect from his visit. 

“Don’t worry, she’s not here. I’m not trying to ambush you…” Emily chuckled to hide her own nervousness.  
“No that’s… huh…” Aaron stammered, embarrassed.  
“Come in…”  
“Thanks.”

Aaron observed his environment as he was walking in her apartment for the first time. The dim light of the room was giving a cosy atmosphere, but he wasn’t really comfortable with it. It was almost too cosy, too intimate. He really didn’t know how to behave. He was clumsy with his moves, he didn’t know where to stand or what to do. 

“Can I get you anything?” Emily asked, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.  
“No, thank you…”  
“Come on, sit. I’m not going to make you pay for that…” she chuckled, inviting him to sit on the couch in the living room. 

Taking his coat off and putting it on the back of the couch, Aaron did as told and sat near Emily. Not too close, but not too far either. Out of reach if ever she wanted to punch him, but in reach in case she needed him. They tried to make small talk before they could get to the heart of it, but it didn’t feel natural, neither he nor she felt comfortable. If Emily could have liquid courage, she would already be drunk. As for Aaron, he regretted not having drunk before coming and couldn’t take this tension anymore. He sighed and finally decided to broach the subject. 

“I’m sorry… I don’t even remember what I said, but I know I shouldn’t have drunk called you. It was very stupid of me and I regret it” he finally said.  
“You shouldn’t have, but I shouldn’t have hidden my pregnancy from you either… What I did is much worse, I know it” she admitted. 

He nodded, smiling weakly at Emily. That was said, they were both sorry for their mistakes. It didn’t mean everything was fine, but at least they had admitted what they had both done was wrong. 

“Despite everything, I want to be involved in this baby’s life. Even if it’s complicated between us…” he told her after a pause.  
“I ruined everything, didn’t I?” Emily asked.  
“You probably made yourself a wrong idea of what I was thinking… After you investigated me.”  
“I just couldn’t look at you in the eyes, knowing that I had betrayed your trust and that I had investigated you... Even though I knew deep inside that you couldn’t be a part of this. I knew you couldn’t and I still hate myself everyday for not telling you, not trusting you.”  
“It’s not as if you really had a choice. You couldn’t tell me…” he admitted. “To be honest, it took me a while before I could take things into consideration, before I could actually think about it differently.” 

Emily didn’t answer straight away. She wasn’t really sure how to handle this conversation. The fact that they were sitting on the same couch, only a few inches from each other, wasn’t really helping either. She didn’t know what she was feeling, between hate, anxiousness, fear, but also relief and need for comfort now that she had told him the truth. She was feeling better since he knew about the baby, and she could almost consider herself fine with Aaron back at the White House, even though she knew it would be really complicated. 

“What… made you change your mind?” she asked.  
“I realized that you just did your job. And that I couldn’t hate you for that.”

Emily nodded. 

“You know, I really want to be a part of this baby’s life. I know it’s probably a little odd for you, because you obviously had not planned this at all, otherwise I guess you would have told me. But I really hope you’ll let me be a part of this. I want to be there for the baby.”

 _‘And you.’_ Well, that was what Aaron wanted to say, and that was what Emily had hoped Aaron would say. But that part of the sentence never came out of Aaron’s mouth. He was in no way ready to say it. He wasn’t even sure he would be one day. It was Emily he was talking to, and deep inside he knew he could trust her, but it was just too much to handle for him, and for now, knowing and being part of this baby’s life was much more important than trying to figure out what he and Emily were. 

“I know I handled everything wrong. But I promise I’ll never prevent you from seeing that child, or taking care of it. Actually, it never was my intention… I just never imagined you would want it, not after I investigated you.” Emily paused. “Plus, I mean… We’re not even in a relationship. I just feel that it’s a burden that I’m imposing on you.”  
“I cannot say that this is how I imagined I would become a father. Far from that to be honest… But I would never leave you alone in this. It takes two to make a baby, I’ll be there to take care of it…”

For the first time in months, it felt that they could almost have a normal discussion. They could finally talk together without any weird tension or misunderstanding. It kinda felt like being back to normal, even though to be fair, normal had never really been their thing. It felt like two grown-ups trying to find arrangements to raise a baby together despite the reality of them not being together. And with that sort of new relation building, Aaron finally dared to ask the question he had been asking himself for a long time now, even before he knew he was the father of Emily’s baby.

“Emily, can I ask you a question?”  
“Yeah, sure.”  
“Why did you decide to keep the baby? I mean, despite everything, I think I know you a little, and I just cannot think of any good reason why you would want to keep it. It’s just not you.”  
“I should probably have this conversation when I can actually drink and be drunk, because that’s just really hard to talk about it… But...” 

Emily paused and sighed, trying to find her words. Just the idea of telling her story, telling him everything, was making tears come to her eyes. But she knew she owed him the truth. She knew he should know about everything. 

“My dad left when I was seven.” she started, digging her nails in her hands. “My mom, she did everything she could for me to have a good life. And my brother, he always thought I was the reason why my dad left. Which, to be honest, is probably true. We are ten years apart, so he spent his whole childhood seeing my parents fighting and seeing their relationship falling apart. He’s always hated me for that. Mike left for college when I was 8, and since then, he talks to me only on Christmas day, when my mom forces us to come to Ohio to celebrate with her and my grandparents. My family is just so dysfunctional that I always promised myself that I would have a better family. That I would make my own perfect little loving family. That one day I would have children, a loving husband, and that we would grow old together and have grandchildren. I spent my childhood dreaming about the type of family that you see in Hallmark’s movies, you know, the kind of movies in which everything ends well.” 

Emily paused again. She was trembling, ready to cry. She was already tearful. Aaron could see it and it was breaking his heart. He wanted to hold her in his arms but he wasn’t sure how to act with her. The hardest was to come, but Emily knew she couldn’t stop now, she should tell him everything.

“And a few years back, I was told that I was infertile and that I would never have children of my own. That broke me so bad, you have no idea how much… I think it’s the worst thing ever, for a woman, to know that you will never be able to give birth to a child. All my dreams of this perfect family were suddenly gone, reduced to ashes. So, I guess that when I realized that I was pregnant, no matter the circumstances, I knew I had to keep that baby. I had to try and have this family that I thought I would never have… Even if the father wasn’t around. I had to do it on my own.”

Emily was suddenly sobbing. She couldn’t stop the flow of tears falling down her cheeks. And in that moment, despite everything that had happened between them, Aaron pulled her toward him and took her in his arms. He stroked her back, trying to ease her pain, and let her cry on his shoulder. 

Everything was starting to fall into place for Aaron. The reasons why Emily had kept the baby, of course, but also why it was always hard for her to trust a man, and also why she had not told him. She was just trying to be like her mom. She wanted to be a strong independent woman who could raise children on her own. And Aaron couldn’t even hate Emily for that. He was lucky enough to have a functional family, parents who loved him, three brothers who didn’t hate him, and even a cousin —a sister almost— who would do anything in the world for him. 

Before being pulled into a hug, Emily had not realized how much she had missed having strong arms around her, supporting her. Of course, she had Gemma, she had Seth, she had her mother too. But it just wasn’t the same. And feeling Aaron’s arms around her made her sob even more, as if she finally needed to let it all out, to cry and finally open herself to being vulnerable. The mask she had been wearing for the past 7 months in front of everybody finally fell, and she suddenly hoped she would never have to wear it back again. 

It took several minutes before Emily could calm down and pull herself from Aaron’s arms. She was exhausted from crying, from working, from the last seven months. She was tired of everything. Sitting up a little on the couch, she felt better now that she had let it all out, but also much more uncomfortable around Aaron. She was vulnerable now, he knew everything. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she suddenly started feeling the baby moving, bringing a sad smile to her face. 

“The baby’s kicking. Wanna feel it?” Emily suddenly asked, putting her hand on her belly. 

Aaron had not planned this and was taken a little aback. His heart skipped a beat and it took a few seconds before he could react and answer. 

“Huh… Yeah…” he said, unsure.

He sat a little closer to Emily but didn’t really know how to do this. He didn’t know where to put his hand, didn’t know how to behave. It was such an intimate thing to do, and still they were not even together, and were just trying to settle things together. Emily saw his hesitation.

“Give me your hand” she offered, extending hers. 

Aaron nodded and Emily took Aaron’s hand in hers. It felt weird to have their hands intertwined like that. Apart from that hug a few minutes ago, it was probably the first time their skins were touching each other since that night when they had had sex. Emily put Aaron’s hand on her belly, right where the baby was kicking. 

“Can you feel it?” she asked.  
“Yeah… That’s…” Aaron answered, smiling softly.  
“Weird?” Emily asked, finishing Aaron’s sentence.  
“Something like that. It doesn’t feel real.” He told her, nodding.  
“I know, I didn’t realize what it was at first.”  
“Do you know, if it’s a boy or a girl?” he asked.  
“No, I don’t. I could, but I didn’t want to. I think I want to keep the surprise.” 

Aaron just nodded.

“Would you? Want to know?” she asked.  
“I don’t know, I’ve really thought about it. It’s still all pretty new for me.”

Aaron saw Emily’s smile fade and realized what he had said. Without wanting to, he had rubbed the betrayal in and Emily suddenly felt all the guilt come back to the surface. 

“Emily, that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry it came out the wrong way. It’s okay, I’m coming to terms with this, I really am. I just never really thought about it. Having a baby is just something very abstract to me for now. But it’s fine, I promise. It’s okay.”

Emily nodded softly.

“I’m so sorry” she said.  
“I know you are. I am too, for what I said. But it’s the past, we’ll get through this, for the sake of this baby.”

 _'And us.’_ Maybe, for both of them, one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... maybe there is a little hope for Emron in the end? Feel free to comment if you have any idea how this will go from now, or if you want to see something happening in the next chapters.  
> Hope you liked it!


	10. Working Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, I am deeply sorry this chapter took so long, it was written and then after I posted last chapter, I decided to change this one, and it took me longer than planned to change everything around. All these changes led to an extra chapter, and might lead to another one depending on how I write things and how you respond to this one.  
> I hope you'll like it, and please tell me what you think about it! Reviews are always welcome, even from guests! See you soon for the next one.

Rumor had it that Aaron was back at the White House, but people were still surprised to see him walking in the hallways of the West Wing. He could hear people talk behind his back, he could hear the whispers and questions about his return. And he knew very well that all these questions were not only about his work here at the White House, but also about his involvement with Emily. Since his little spat with Gemma a few weeks ago, people had started putting two and two together and most of them were wondering if he was the father of Emily’s baby. So of course, people were talking, and every time he could hear something behind his back, he was rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

“Why do people feel the need to talk?” he asked Seth as they were in Aaron’s new office.   
“Talk about? You being back? I mean, it was kind of shady… The way you left.” Seth answered.  
“Yeah, but that I don’t care. No, I hear them talk about Emily and I. I think they know.” Aaron sighed.  
“That wouldn’t surprise me. I mean, Gemma wasn’t really discreet when she yelled at you a couple of weeks ago…”

Aaron rolled his eyes, remembering Gemma’s little spat. 

“How are things going by the way, between Em and you?”  
“Better, I guess. We talked things out a couple of days ago. We said what we had to say. It’s not easy, but at least we talk.”  
“I’m glad things are getting better.”  
“You’re probably the only one…” Aaron groaned.  
“Gemma?”  
“Yeah… She ambushed me this morning. She told me not to mess up with Emily and that she would keep an eye on me.”

Seth laughed.

“That’s not even funny. I want to work things out with Emily, we have to. I mean, I get that I was an ass with her, but Gemma doesn’t need to constantly remind me of the mistakes I made, and if she is behind my back all the time, we’re never going to work things out…”  
“Do you, though? Want to work things out?” Seth asked, curious.  
“Yeah, I do. I mean, we’re having a child together, we need at least to get along.”  
“Is that all? What about… The two of you?”  
“What do you want me to say?”  
“Do you… Consider being with her?”  
“Right now? No. I can’t… I don’t want to. Everything is still too fresh. But if you ask me if I still have feelings for her, I don’t know” Aaron paused, thinking. “I think so… I mean, yeah. Despite everything, I still like her, but I don’t want to think about this right now. I need time, and the baby needs to come before anything else.”

Seth nodded. He could understand what Aaron was saying. It was as if, despite the hate, the betrayal, the lie, Aaron couldn’t help but being attracted to Emily. Only his senses were telling him not to go down that path. Well, and Gemma too if he really wanted to be honest. The hostility coming from the Communications Director was really startling him, and it was also utterly annoying him. He couldn’t understand why she was acting like this, especially since he knew she was the one who had forced Emily to tell him about her pregnancy. 

Emily, too, had tried to reason Gemma, and temper her. But the red-haired was stubborn, probably even more stubborn than Emily. 

“Gem, you need to let me handle this. I cannot work things out with Aaron if you constantly remind him that he hurt me.” Emily told her best friend one evening.  
“I swear, if he tries to hurt you again…” Gemma groaned.  
“Gemma Elizabeth Bishop, do you listen to me? Stop it… I invited him over tomorrow afternoon, to build the nursery.”  
“You serious? He’s coming over?”  
“Yes. And I know it’s your apartment too, but I would love very much if you were going shopping in the meantime, cause I know it’s not going to be the same if you are around…”

Gemma looked at Emily in the eyes, trying to read her best friend’s mind, but she wasn’t letting anything show through. 

“Do I have a choice?”   
“Not really…”

So, on that Sunday, when Aaron arrived, Gemma looked at him spitefully, but soon left the apartment to mind her own business while he was around.

“How long is she going to be out for?” Aaron asked.  
“As long as needs be. I told her to go do her things while you were here. I didn’t want you two at each other’s throat…”

Aaron chuckled softly. She offered a cup of coffee, and soon after he followed Emily in the baby's room where boxes were lying, ready to be opened. Since they had talked things out and since Aaron was back at the White House, things seemed better between the two of them. They could make small talk, they could even laugh sometimes. Of course, there were topics they still wouldn't broach, but slowly, they could feel they were getting back to something.

“Are you going to build a nursery in your apartment too?” Emily asked, as they were sitting on the floor putting a crib together.   
“You want me to? I mean, I haven’t put much thought into it yet…” he paused. “Actually, we should probably talk about that…” Aaron answered, still sitting on the floor.   
“What do you mean, talk about that?” Emily asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“How are we going to do that coparenting thing? I’m not sure how it’s supposed to be done…” Aaron admitted. “Isn’t it going to be a little complicated?”  
"Probably, but we're gonna have to make things work. We won't have the choice, so…"  
"I guess the baby will spend most of the nights with you though…"  
"At first, probably yeah… Would you, though? Want to have the baby at night with you?"  
“Sure, that’s my kid too. And… I guess that when you’ll be back to the White House, after your maternity leave I mean, you’ll love a good night sleep at some point.” 

Emily chuckled. Clearly, Aaron had put some thought into it, even if he didn't want to admit it. It felt great for her to see that he was so committed to make this work and that he wanted to be involved in this baby's life. It was surprising her a little though. Not that she would ever imagine Aaron being a bad parent, far from that actually, but of course she had not thought everything through when she had decided to raise that baby. She had always imagined she would do it alone, and the possibility of having the father around had always been so far from her mind that it was disconcerting her a little.

“To be honest, I haven’t put much thought into it either. I mean, it seemed pretty logical to me that you would want to build a nursery at your place, but yeah, I don’t know.”  
“We still have a little bit of time before thinking about it.”

Emily nodded and smiled. 

“I know it’s still far ahead, but have you thought about what you were going to do with the baby, after your maternity leave?”  
“I have. I was thinking I would take the baby to daycare. But I haven’t figured out yet which one I should choose. There aren’t many with extended hours…”  
“What about a nanny?”   
“It’s complicated. I mean, finding someone who would be willing to take the baby any time of the day or the night because of an emergency…” Emily sighed.  
“But, what were you planning then, for emergencies?”  
“Gemma?” Emily offered, chuckling. “I mean, except in case of a nuclear attack, the probability of her being called in the middle of the night is pretty slim… So, she’s supposed to be my backup. That’s pretty much why we moved in together.”

Aaron smiled. Despite Gemma being a pain with him, he could see that she always had Emily’s best interest at heart and was doing everything for her. As much as he disliked her, he had to admit that Gemma was great. He knew that she would be great with the baby, and that she would always help Emily out, no matter what. As Aaron was finishing to put the crib together, there was a peaceful silence between the two, but Emily suddenly spoke. 

“I have an appointment in two days… An ultrasound. Do you… want to come with me?” Emily offered. 

Aaron slowly rose his head, surprised with the offer. He stuttered and looked at Emily in the eyes, trying to detect something, anything. He had not seen this coming and was at loss for words. Emily saw it, and smiled softly at him to reassure him. 

“Yeah? You sure?” Aaron asked, unsure of what he should say.  
“Yeah, I’d like you to come with me.”  
“Ok then.”

Aaron’s smile suddenly lit up his face, truly happy that Emily had invited him to her ultrasound. And Emily was happy to see his face light up like that. She didn’t even know if she had ever seen him this genuinely happy, it reassured her, knowing that she had made the right choice by asking him to come. 

And that’s how Emily and Aaron met each other on a parking lot a couple of days later, ready for Emily’s appointment. Aaron was nervous, Emily could see it. He couldn’t stop tapping his foot on the floor, biting his lower lip. He couldn’t make small talk, he was stuttering every time Emily would ask him something. It would be the first time he would see his child on a screen, that he would hear his baby’s heartbeat, and he knew that it would make it more real than ever. He had even called Nadia in need of reassurance, but she was so excited for him that it didn’t do much good. Weirdly enough, Emily didn’t seem that stressed. She should be, she knew she should be because it was the first time that she was seeing her obgyn with Aaron and that it would be weird, but she was almost peaceful. She felt reassured that Aaron would do anything for their baby, even leave the White House for a couple of hours to come with her. 

The doctor said he was happy to see Emily’s husband, and after an embarrassed chuckle, Aaron and Emily quickly denied being married or even being together. Their situation was less than ideal, and this awkward conversation was another proof of it. Seeing his baby for the first time, and then hearing the heartbeat, Aaron’s heart melted and he almost thought he would lose it. He was pretty close to letting a tear fall down his cheek, and that made him realize that despite everything that had been going on with Emily, he could never have let her down. He knew that he had to be around for this baby, to take care of it and to raise it. It suddenly also made it even more bitter, to realize that Aaron had missed 6 months because Emily had lied to him, had betrayed him. 

“Miss Rhodes, are you taking it slow like I advised you to? Do you feel weak sometimes, or dizzy?” her obgyn asked, seemingly concerned.   
“It happens, yes, but not too often. I mean it’s not really easy to really take it slow, I have a lot to do, but I’m doing my best.” Emily answered.

Aaron didn’t want to intervene, he didn’t feel like he had his word in this, but he couldn’t help rolling his eyes, knowing very well that Emily was still running here and there in the hallways of the West Wing everyday. 

“Your friend here doesn’t seem to agree…” Emily’s obgyn said after noticing Aaron’s eyes.   
“What?” Emily exclaimed.  
“Em… You know very well that you are still running all the time. Otherwise we don’t have the same idea of ‘taking it slow’…” Aaron said gently.  
“It’s not as if I had a choice…” Emily argued.   
“Well, I’m not going to give you the choice either” the doctor cut them off. “I’m giving you ten days off and bed rest is not an option. Otherwise you will give birth early. This is not a joke Miss Rhodes. While pregnancy isn’t an illness, you have to think about your health.”

Emily’s jaw dropped as she realized that she would be stuck at home for ten days. It was the worst scenario for her. She hated not doing anything, so being stuck in bed was even worse. 

“Isn’t there any other possibility?” she asked, worried.  
“I’m afraid not… Your blood pressure is low. It’s serious. If you’re not taking it slow, it could lead to a placental abruption…”  
“What is that exactly?” Aaron asked, suddenly concerned.  
“It’s when the placenta separates from the uterus before the birth. It means that your baby could be born early, and it can be dangerous both for the baby and you, Miss Rhodes. Loss of blood and so on… I could make a list of all the complications that it could cause, but I’m pretty sure you already realize how serious that can be…”

Emily was suddenly as white as a sheet, realizing what all of this meant. After that, she kept quiet. She could hear the obgyn talk, she could listen to him, but she was just nodding at his statements. She shook his hand as she left his office, followed by Aaron, but she was just silent.

“Em, are you okay?” Aaron asked as they were on the parking lot, looking at her worriedly.  
“I… Huh… I don’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t really plan this when I asked you to come with me…” she answered weakly.  
“It’s okay, don’t worry. But what about you?”  
“I… It’s just as if…” Emily couldn’t find her words. “I feel like I just got hit by reality…” 

Aaron just nodded. He didn’t really know what to say, he was really uncomfortable with the situation because he wasn’t close to Emily, far from that, but still he felt like he should be there for her and help her get through this. 

“Can I… Do anything for you?” he asked as they were reaching their cars.  
“Not really… I’m gonna go home. And stay in bed I guess…” Emily answered, defeated.   
“Hey, I know it cannot be easy for you, but you’re gonna be okay, right?” Aaron tried to cheer her up.

He suddenly put a hand on her arm and stroked it gently, smiling at her. He couldn’t help it, he knew that Emily needed it and he wanted to be there for her. 

“I should get going…” Emily said, smiling at him after his nice gesture.  
“Yeah, I’ll go back to the White House, I have work to do. But, I can come by your place at some point during your leave…” he said “I mean if you want…” he quickly added, suddenly embarrassed he had offered the idea.

It had come instinctively, but suddenly Aaron was regretting it because he didn’t know how to behave with Emily, even if she seemed moved with Aaron’s attention. 

“Sure.” she answered, smiling. 

More and more everyday, she couldn’t help but wonder why she had hidden her pregnancy from him. Everybody had always told her that she was stubborn, she knew she was. But as she was driving back home, she was thinking that maybe, maybe she had taken her stubbornness too far. What she had always considered a strength, especially as a woman in politics, was suddenly a terrible flaw that had hurt people she cared about, and had hurt her relation with a man she had a thing for, that she had even once considered boyfriend-material. She couldn’t help but think that everything was her fault, and as she lied on her bed, arriving at home, she started crying.


	11. The Feelings You Can't Hide

CHAPTER 11 - The Feelings You Can’t Hide

Emily had already been on bed rest for six days and she couldn’t take it anymore. Sure, she had a computer, she had hundreds of movies to watch, several TV shows to catch up on and dozens of books to read, but she was starting to go crazy. Between lying on her bed, lying on the couch and sitting at the table, she wasn’t doing much in her days. As per her doctor’s advice, she was also going for a short walk every day. Her main objective was to take it slow and to keep her blood pressure to a good level. To sleep a lot and to avoid the stress. But apart from that walk everyday, she wasn’t doing anything and was just bored.

People were also starting to get on her nerves, and particularly Gemma. The red-haired was coming home every single time she had a break, whether it was for lunch or just for a quick visit and it was starting to make Emily wonder if living that close to the White House was actually a good thing. So, when she heard the key turn in the lock of the front door in the afternoon of that sixth day, she thought she would lose it. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Gemma asked as she was coming in.  
“I swear Gemma, I love you, but if you keep coming home every three hours to ask me how I’m feeling I’m going to strangle you. I’m so fed up right now, you have no idea.” Emily spat.  
“Woah, easy there, tiger…” Gemma exclaimed, surprised by the sudden anger.  
“I’m sorry…” Emily said, softening her tone. “But you really need to stop coming home all the time… I swear Gem, you’re driving me crazy. I don’t need your help to grab a glass of water or to go to the bathroom. Okay?”  
“Em… You need to take it slow…” Gemma tried.  
“Exactly!” Emily started yelling again. “I need to take it slow, not do nothing. Do you understand that difference? I am a grown up, I can do things on my own, I need you to realize that, cause I am tired of you…”  
“Em…”  
“Don’t Em me please, just go back to work…” 

Gemma raised her hands in protestation, giving up the fight and just walking toward the bathroom. Emily sighed loudly and lied back on the couch, waiting for Gemma to leave. She knew that her friend was doing her best to help her, was trying to support her in every possible way. But it was just too much for the fierce and independent Emily Rhodes, she needed her space, and even her own home wasn’t her space anymore. 

“I’m out, see you tonight…” Gemma said as she left the apartment, slamming the door.

Emily didn’t answer and sighed in relief. But she was still bored. She didn’t even know what to do or who to call, she was fidgeting with her phone, thinking of all the people she could talk to, but everybody she was thinking about was working. Suddenly, her phone buzzed.

_“Hey, I heard you snapped at Gemma? How are things going?”_  
-Seth

_“I’m so booooored. You have no idea. I just want to go back to work.”_  
-Emily

Emily smiled. She was happy to have a text from her friend and exchanged a few more texts with him, mostly to complain about Gemma, making the Press Secretary laugh. But truth was, the only person she wanted a text from was Aaron. He had already texted her a few times, asking how she was doing or if she needed anything. He had even come by her place a couple of days ago, bringing comfort food and a good book. She was surprising herself to smile every time his name would pop on her phone, knowing he would always have a caring word for her while she was stuck at home growing their baby. And right now, it’s what she was dying for. A nice text from Aaron, something to light up her day as she was just bored. Of course, she knew that nothing was really fixed between the two of them, that they would need time to be able to talk normally and have a normal relation, but slowly, she could see some sort of improvement between the two of them, and she had surprised herself thinking about him more and more in the past few days. Enough that she would even dare to text Aaron, something she would have never initiated a few weeks ago.

_“Please, humor me… Tell me something, anything. What is going on at work, I’m so bored.”_  
-Emily

_“The Venezuelan ambassador is trying to victimize himself over the dispute with Colombia…”_  
-Aaron 

Emily chuckled. She was glad she had decided to text him with her professional phone. It meant that they could have all kind of conversations, that the communication was secured.

_“Why do we care again?”_  
-Emily

_“Because Ambassador Juarez came to the White House to ask for our help…”_  
-Aaron

_“I thought they didn’t want to have anything to do with us anymore?”_  
-Emily

_“Guess what, they still need us…”_  
-Aaron 

Emily chuckled, it felt really good to be able to talk about work. At least, even if she wasn’t useful because she was not there, she could keep herself updated on what she had missed, and it was entertaining her much more than the book she had been trying to read for the past three days.

_“How are you feeling? Heard that you snapped at Gemma. (Can’t blame you though…)”_  
-Aaron

Emily laughed at the message. Or course, she knew that things were tense between Gemma and Aaron. Everybody knew it, probably even the front desk manager at the entrance of the West Wing. It wasn't a secret to anyone that things were a little too cold to be just professional between the Communications Director and the National Security Adviser.

_“Yeah, I’m just really bored and jumpy. She’s always behind my back, I can’t stand it anymore…”_  
-Emily

_“I’m not even surprised. Can I do anything for you?"_  
-Aaron

Emily thought long and wise before answering. Truth was, she desperately needed to go out, do something, see people. And right now, it’s Aaron she had around, it’s Aaron who was offering help.

_“I don’t know. Can I ask you a favor?”_  
-Emily

She knew that he would say yes, he had just asked what he could do for her. Though, she still wasn’t quite sure how to handle things with him and she was always carefully choosing her words. Aaron was surprised when he saw the message. For the past six days, Emily had always declined when he had asked if he could help in any way and he had just been allowed to come by a couple of days ago after work. He could say now that they were good, that things were good between the two of them, but were they good enough that Emily would call in a favor?

__

_“Yeah?”_  
-Aaron

It was a ‘yes’. Of course it was, he wouldn’t say no, but it was a sort of question in the meantime. He was curious and a little concerned by Emily’s sudden need to ask for a favor.

__

_“Can I come over to your place after work? I need a change of air… I won’t be long I promise.”_  
-Emily

Saying that Emily’s question startled him was an understatement. He had not been prepared for this at all, and he didn’t know what to do. It was making him happy that she would dare and ask something like that, but he wasn’t really feeling comfortable with having Emily at his place. The last time she had come, it had led to sex. It was almost eight months ago, and Emily’s growing belly was the definite proof of what had happened that night. Of course, he knew that it wouldn’t happen tonight, but still, he couldn’t help but think about it. He realized that he couldn’t be alone at his place with Emily on an evening, he didn’t want to. Not yet, not now. He quickly texted Nadia and begged her to come for dinner before answering Emily.

__

_“Nadia will be here for dinner, want to join us? I can pick you up when I’m done with work”_  
-Aaron

Emily smiled when she saw the answer, relieved. She had waited several minutes to get that answer and had really been afraid she had pushed her luck a little too far. She had been afraid that he would say no and that they would be back to square one with their relation, cold and to the strict minimum. Laying on her couch, she was staring at the ceiling, thinking of that evening to come with Aaron and Nadia. She didn’t know Aaron’s cousin very well. She had always heard good things about her, but she also had gotten that clear that she was Aaron’s confident. It meant that she knew everything about Emily and Aaron’s relation, and that Emily would be in an unsafe territory for the night. Her mind started racing and she was wondering why she had texted Aaron in the first place, why she had asked for that favor, why she was so stupid and always making mistakes, like she had been doing in the past eight months. Trying to put things into perspective, she kept repeating that same sentence in her head. _‘It’s just a nice dinner, nothing to worry about.’_ But it wasn’t really working, and before she had time to realize it, it was already 8 p.m. and Aaron was at her door, picking her up.

The ride between her place and his was quiet. Aaron asked her how she was doing, what she had done from her day, but she was tapping her foot on the floor of his car. Aaron noticed, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to get into that kind of conversation and it felt easier to just let it go. When they entered the apartment, Nadia was already there, cooking their grandmother’s enchiladas. She greeted Emily nicely, and that did the trick for the Chief of Staff. She sighed, relieved. She suddenly felt like the evening would be enjoyable. 

“That smells good…” Emily commented.  
“Thank you, it’s our grandmother’s. Aaron knows how to cook it too, I just don’t work extra hours like he does, so when we eat together it’s mostly me cooking. Usually I just come to his place early and prepare everything while he’s still at work.” Nadia answered.  
“Wait, you have a key to his apartment?” Emily asked, curious.  
“Yeah, it’s easier this way. He lets me crash on the couch if I’m out downtown and drink a little too much. I live on the red line, so if I get out of the bar after 1 a.m.…”  
“Right…”  
“How is everything going, Aaron told me you were getting bored?” Nadia asked, changing the subject. 

The Mexican-American seemed genuinely nice and concerned for Emily. She was caring and Emily felt comfortable talking to her. Even if she didn’t know her well, Emily felt like she could count on Nadia. She really appreciated that Aaron’s cousin didn’t seem to hold a grudge against her, despite everything that had happened between Aaron and her. It felt good to have an ally in her corner. 

“Yeah. Well you know, I’m used to running all the time, so it’s just hard for someone like me to be stuck at home. And at least, thank God, I’m not completely stuck lying in bed.”  
“So, how does this work? You’re just supposed to take it slow?”  
“Yup, exactly. I have another appointment in four days to see if everything is good. Or if I should be on complete bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy…”  
“Are you going back to work before the birth if you can?”  
“I’m not sure, I wish, but I don’t know yet.”

Aaron had not said a word since they had arrived, but he was just observing the interaction between his cousin and the mother of his child. They were getting along well and this was making him happy. He knew that Nadia would always support him and be there for him, but it was good to see that she wasn’t clearly taking side and was being nice to Emily. 

“Even if you go back to work, don’t even imagine you’re gonna run in the hallways again.” Aaron commented suddenly.  
“I’m sorry?” Emily asked, surprised with Aaron’s sudden comment.  
“Even if you come back to work, nobody’s going to let you go to meetings or near the commands op anymore. Not a month before giving birth…”  
“So, you’re telling me that even if I go back to work, I’ll be stuck at my desk?”  
“Yup, exactly… You see, there are things we can agree on with Gemma…” Aaron smirked, making Emily roll her eyes. 

Emily was glad that Gemma and Aaron were at least talking a little, but she was annoyed that it was to plot behind her back. Just after that moment, Nadia announced it was all ready for dinner and they sat around the table in the living room, chatting about everything while eating. The rest of the evening went fine, and Emily felt better than she had felt in the past few days. She was out, talking and laughing, eating nice food and enjoying some good company. It was a nice distraction, and only her phone repeatedly buzzing in her pocket made her come back to reality. 

“Where the hell are you?”  
-Gemma

“Emily! Answer me…”  
-Gemma

“Come on, stop ignoring me. You know you should be on bed rest”  
-Gemma

Emily sighed when she saw the texts, she was suddenly angry and sad in the meantime. She didn’t need Gemma to break this good evening she was having and didn’t even want to answer her.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked, noticing Emily’s sudden mood change.  
“Huh… Yeah, it’s just Gemma…” Emily answered, brushing things off.  
“Troubling you?”  
“Just worrying about me… Again…” Emily said, sighing.

Nadia had retreated to the kitchen, letting Aaron and Emily talk on their own. She could see that the mood had changed and that she shouldn’t intervene. Luckily, it had coincided with the end of dinner and she just made up an excuse about washing the dishes. Aaron instinctively stood up from his seat and took the one next to Emily, getting closer to her and putting a hand on her arm, gently stroking it to reassure her. 

“Do you want to head home, maybe?” he offered.  
“Yeah, maybe Gemma’s right anyway, I should be in bed…” Emily said, defeated.  
“You know it’s not what I meant, you can stay for a little bit if you want.” Aaron offered, seeing Emily’s deception.

Truth was he wanted to take Emily home. He had had a good night with her and Nadia, and he could definitely see himself doing this again in the —near— future. But he knew that Nadia would leave soon, and he still wasn’t feeling very comfortable with staying alone with Emily. Weirdly, he could even say that it was getting worse, because the feelings for Emily he had buried with the betrayal were starting to come back to the surface. He was conflicted, and he hated that. He was starting to wonder if it just wasn’t easier when they were not talking. At least, he didn’t feel the need to comfort her or to be there for her, he didn’t feel the need to hug her and to reassure her. 

“No, but you're right, I should just go. Can you take me back home, please?” Emily asked, a small and sad smile forming on her face. 

Aaron nooded. He stood up and extended his hand to help Emily stand up. She said goodbye to Nadia as Aaron was grabbing his keys. The ride to her place was silent, they were both looking at the road go by in front of them. Emily was glancing at Aaron sometimes, she could see the frowns on his forehead, the worry in his expressions. She couldn’t quite understand why though. And when Aaron parked in front of Emily’s apartment building, he quickly walked around the car to help Emily out, even though he knew that she could still do it on her own. 

“Thanks… Aaron.” Emily smiled as he closed the door.  
“Sure.”  
“Are you okay? You seem concerned.” Emily asked.  
“Yeah, I’m fine don’t worry.” he said, avoiding to answer.  
“Aaron…” Emily started.

But instead of finishing her sentence, she closed the distance between them and just kissed him. Taken aback, it took a few milliseconds for Aaron to react, but soon the passion was back and he joined Emily in their renewed passion. It wasn’t really a delicate kiss, they were both eager and needy. Their tongues were dancing together, Aaron’s hands on her hip and behind her back as she was sliding her hand in his hair. But soon, Aaron pushed Emily back and stopped the kiss. 

“Em… We shouldn’t.” Aaron sighed.  
“Huh… I’m sorry… I should go…” Emily answered, uncomfortable, already turning her back to leave.  
“Wait…” Aaron called, pulling her by the hand. “It’s not what I meant…”

Emily turned around to look at Aaron.

“Don’t misunderstand me, Em. It’s not that I don’t want to. But we should take things slow… Maybe focus on the baby now, and see how everything is going.”  
“I’m sorry, it’s my fault I shouldn’t have…” Emily continued rambling, troubled by the kiss.  
“Emily, listen to me. I am not opposed to being with you. I never stopped having feelings for you, even if… Despite everything.” He sighed, wondering why he was telling her all that. “But I want us to take things slow. We’re going to be parents in a few weeks, we should think about that first. I want us to try and figure things out for us too, I really want to, but we shouldn’t do two things at the same time.”  
“You’re right…” she said, finally allowing herself to think about it. 

Tears were about to fall down her cheeks, embarrassed obviously, but also saddened by Aaron’s comment. She knew he was right, that they couldn’t do two things at the same time, and that they needed time to heal from everything that had happened between the two of them, but she couldn’t help it. She still liked him, a lot. Facing him, all she wanted to do now was escape. She felt stupid, despite being happy that Aaron had opened to her, and that he still had feelings for her too. 

“Come here” he said, pulling her into a soft hug. “We’re gonna make it, it’s okay.”

Emily’s tears started falling down her cheeks, exhausted from pretty much everything that had happened in her life in the past few months. Aaron ran his hand in her back, trying to soothe her. When she pulled back, he kissed her softly on her forehead and with that, she climbed the stairs to her apartment, wondering if one day, something would be right in her life.


	12. Heart And Mind

“Emily kissed me…” Aaron suddenly said blankly.  
“What, when?” Seth exclaimed, surprised.  
“A few days ago…”

Both staffers were sitting at a bar one evening, drinking a well-deserved glass of scotch after a tough day at work. They were both exhausted and were craving a good night sleep, but they also needed to wind down. Truth was, the past four days had been complicated for Aaron. He had not stopped thinking about that kiss he had shared with Emily, and what it meant for both of them. Apart from Nadia, he had not told anyone, and he suddenly felt the need to talk about it. He had not crossed path with her since then, but he knew he would tomorrow. She had texted him in the afternoon, and he knew that she had been cleared to go back to work. 

“How did that happen?” Seth asked.  
“Do you want the short of the long version?” Aaron offered.  
“Short, please. It’s already hard enough to follow everything between the two of you…”  
“I was taking her home after she ate at my place, and she just kissed me as I was walking her up the stairs…” Aaron explained.  
“Oh… I see. Is this going to make your lives more miserable? Or…”  
Seth was a little confused. As often in the past few months, he didn’t really know what to say or what to do when one of his two friends was talking about the other one. It was hard for him to be in the middle, in between Aaron and Emily and having to juggle between them all the time. In a way, knowing that they had kissed was making him happy, because it meant that there was still hope for a happy ending, but Aaron’s tone of voice was making him wonder if he wasn’t just a little too optimistic. 

“I pushed her back…” Aaron continued, defeated.  
“Oh… That doesn’t sound good to me. But at least you stay true to your words, you really don’t want to be with her for now.” Seth said.  
“Yeah, but I don’t know anymore. I’m just completely lost. I feel like my life has become a freaking mess since I learned I’m going to be a father.” Aaron admitted.  
“Anybody’s life would be a mess after such an announcement.” Seth commented.  
“True… But…” 

Aaron didn’t finish his sentence. He drank the rest of his scotch in one go and asked for another one. He didn’t know what he wanted to say, what he was feeling or what he should do. Knowing that she was back at work was conflicting him even more. Would things be okay, working together everyday? 

“Hey, man… It’s normal to be conflicted. I can see that you still love her.” Seth reassured his friend.  
“Do I, though?”  
“Yes you do, it’s crystal clear that you do. But take your time, you don’t have to jump in each other’s arms just yet.”  
“Yeah…”  
“Try to slowly rebuild your trust in each other. Take your time. And you’ll see how everything goes when the baby comes, later on the road.”  
“That’s what I told her, that I wanted us to focus on the baby for now, but it’s just… I don’t know, it’s awkward. We want to be together, but we both know that we shouldn’t do it…”  
“You really need to talk about it, it’s going to be a mess again if you don’t…” 

Aaron nodded. He knew that Seth was right, and he knew that his mind was telling him not to go down this road either. But it was like his heart was pushing him closer to Emily with every day going by. Lost in his mind, all he could feel was the alcohol burning down his throat after a long day at work. At least, maybe his days would be less busy with Emily coming back, even though he knew that he would spend most of his time worrying about her doing too much. He had even plotted with Phil to make sure she would be relieved of most of the workload, and especially stressful situations like the ones in commands op. But still, he knew it would be hard for her to stay out of these situations. Emily was always jumping on things, ready to fight the next fire even before it had started. She was too stubborn for her own good, and it was worrying many persons around her, and especially her best friend. 

“Are you going to take it slow?” Gemma asked Emily at home on that night.  
“Yes Mom…” Emily answered, grumbling and rolling her eyes.  
“I’m serious Em. You have to. You still have a month to go before giving birth. Everything looks good but you can’t keep playing with fire like you do.”  
“Gem, I know. I’m going to take it slow… Aaron already told me he would prevent me from going down to the commands op…”  
“Well, I definitely agree with him on that!” Gemma said. “You see, we can agree on certain things…”  
“Yeah, you can agree to make my life more miserable…” Emily grumbled.

Gemma frowned, surprised with her best friend’s comment.

“Did something happen between the two of you?” Gemma asked, curious.  
“No, nothing…” Emily said, brushing things off.

Emily had not told Gemma about the kiss. She didn’t want to, she knew Gemma would disapprove. But in the meantime, she couldn’t help but feel the need to talk about it to someone. She had not stopped thinking about it since it had happened a few days ago, and knowing that they would see each other in just a few hours was stressing her out.

“Em…” Gemma scolded.  
“Okay, fine. I kissed him the other night. And he pushed me back.” Emily finally said.  
“You what?” Gemma suddenly exclaimed.  
“You heard me. Please, don’t scream, I know it was stupid…”  
“For sure it was stupid. Why did you do that?”  
“Cause I still like him, what do you think!”  
“Oh my God, you really have the annoying habit of making your life more miserable, you know that?” Gemma continued, lecturing her best friend.  
“I cannot help but like him…” Emily protested. “I know it’s stupid, but he didn’t push me back straightaway”  
“Ok… What? I’m not sure I get it. He pushed you back, but he didn’t?” Gemma asked, confused.  
“I kissed him. And he kissed me back. But then he just suddenly stopped and said that we shouldn’t.”  
“Well, he’s not wrong about that… Did he say something else?”

Emily sighed, remembering her conversation with Aaron.

“He told me that it’s not that he didn’t want to, but that we shouldn’t. Not now…”  
“Oh my God, the two of you are so complicated. I swear you’re giving me headaches…” Gemma exclaimed, rolling her eyes.  
“You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to support me…”  
“I know. I’m sorry, but you’re just really complicated to follow.” 

Emily suddenly burst into tears. She had not seen it coming, but she was suddenly sobbing in her best friend’s arms. She was always putting her cries down to hormones, but she knew that this time, it was just because she was exhausted. 

So of course, the morning after, Emily was stressing out, tapping her foot on the floor of the car on her the way to the White House. Sure, she was excited to be back to work, but she knew that she would see Aaron for the first time since they had kissed, and that it would be awkward. When she entered the West Wing, she was greeted by all her colleagues, happy to see her back to work, even though everybody secretly thought she should already be on maternity leave. And from afar, she saw Aaron at the other end of the hallway. He smiled softly at her, but she could see that he was hesitating, and he ended up not daring to greet her in front of everybody else. 

Gemma noticed too and as they were finally alone on their way to Emily’s office, the Communications Director spoke up.

“You should really talk, you know…” 

Emily didn’t even need Gemma to pronounce his name to know what she was talking about. She knew she should talk to Aaron. Emily saw him more than once during the day, but they ended up never having time to properly talk. They were doing their best to keep things professional, but the people the closest to them could see that things were complicated again. Their moods had shifted, and apart from Gemma and Seth, nobody really knew why. 

It’s only two days later, in the afternoon, that they both caught a break in the meantime. They didn’t even plan it, but they crossed path in the cafeteria as Emily was getting some herbal tea when she saw him walk in to get coffee. 

“We should talk…” she said as she saw Aaron approaching her.  
“I agree…” he answered, nodding. 

Pouring coffee down in a mug, he then invited her to follow in his office. It’s true, the cafeteria seemed like a safe place, neutral and around people, far from any temptation or break down. But they both knew it was a terrible idea. People were already talking about them, whispering behind their backs and they didn’t really want to entertain the rumors any more. There was a silence between the two of them as they sat next to each other on the couch of his office after Aaron closed the door. They both drank their beverages in silence before one of them decided to speak. 

“We can’t keep going like that…” Aaron said.  
“I know… I screwed up.” Emily admitted.  
“It’s not what I said, Em…” Aaron retorted sadly. “I… I think we should take our time. We both know that we are attracted to each other…”

Emily nodded, chuckling. Attracted was the least they could say. 

“But we need to focus on the baby.” Emily continued. “I know…”

Aaron smiled softly at her. He could see that she agreed, but something was telling him she wasn’t completely okay with the decision.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, shooting her a concerned look.  
“It’s just…” Emily started, not knowing how to say it. “Since that time you took me in your arms when I was crying, you know…” Aaron nodded, remembering their talk at her apartment a few weeks ago. “Sometimes I just miss your hugs…” Emily admitted, feeling shameful. _‘And your strong arms around me, and your nice gestures, and cuddling against you…’_ she continued in her head. 

Aaron chuckled, smiling. 

“It’s okay, you can ask for a hug if you want. I’m fine with it…” he said, smiling at her.  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah… I just don’t want to start a relationship right now, but it’s okay if you want a hug sometimes. I don’t mind.”  
“Are things going to be okay between us one day?” Emily asked, worried.  
“I have faith they will.” Aaron smiled.  
“Can I, have a hug right now?” Emily asked, making Aaron laugh.  
“Sure.”

Emily closed the distance between them and put her head against his chest as Aaron wrapped his arms around her. For the first time in a while, she felt comfortable and safe. The baby kicked and she took one of his hands to put it on her belly. He smiled when he felt their baby and softly kissed Emily on the temple. 

“So what, now?” Emily asked, still cuddling against Aaron’s chest.  
“What do you mean?”  
“What are we?”  
“Do we really need to put labels on what we are?” Aaron asked, not really sure what to say.  
“Probably not…” Emily said. “Yeah, you’re right. No labels, no relationship, and let’s just see how everything goes later down the road.”

They stayed silent in each other’s arms for a little bit, but soon their phones started buzzing. They were both called to commands op.

“We should go…” Emily said as she pulled herself from Aaron’s arms.  
“Should you? I know you want to, but I really am not comfortable with you going down there right now…” Aaron admitted.  
“Aaron…” Emily started.  
“No, I get that you want to go… But it’s always stressful and everything…” Aaron said, worried.  
“Ok, I’ll send Phil instead…” Emily gave in. “You’ll be there to help him anyway.”

Aaron smiled gently and quickly kissed her forehead before leaving his office to pick up Phil on his way to the commands op. Aaron’s sweet gesture startled Emily a little and it took her a few seconds to react. She wasn’t used to this, especially with Aaron. But before she could move and decide to do something, she was caught by Gemma in Aaron’s office as she was walking by in the hallway.

“What are you doing in here?” the Communications Director asked, curious and surprised.  
“We talked…” Emily answered.  
“Oh… I see. And?”  
“We’ll be fine. I think we’ll be fine.” she said with a soft smile.

Gemma rose an eyebrow, wanting details, but Emily brushed things off. For once, she wanted to keep things for herself, and for the first time in months, she could feel that one day, things would be fine.


	13. A New Soul

Three weeks later, both Aaron and Emily could say that things had gotten better between the two of them. Much better. Saying that things were perfect would be an overstatement, but they could slowly feel that they were getting somewhere. Refusing to put labels on their relation was probably the best decision they had made in a while. At first, Emily was the less convinced with this idea. She felt like she needed some stability and of course, not putting labels was not stability. But after a few weeks, she could definitely say that this sort of limbo they were in was a good idea. It meant that they didn’t worry about anything, that sometimes when they needed comfort, they were together, and when they needed to be alone, they were alone. Things were never getting far between them, it was just a kiss on the forehead or the cheek, a cuddle sometimes, a reassuring hand on the shoulder, but it was just enough for them to feel good. 

Around them, things had gotten better too. Gemma could finally tolerate Aaron, and even though they were always pushing each other’s buttons, it was now more childish bickering than real dislike. They could spend time in the same room without being mean to each other, and Gemma had even approved of Aaron coming over to the girls’ apartment more than once to finish building the nursery. Though, the red-haired was still on the lookout when it was coming to Aaron and Emily’s relationship. It’s not that she wanted to intervene, she knew she had no right to say anything, and she didn’t want to anyway, but she was also worried that Emily was getting a little too optimistic. She could see that Aaron was restraining himself from being too cuddly or too nice with Emily, and she didn’t like that. She could understand why, Aaron still had a long way to go before being able to trust Emily completely, but she was just afraid that he would run away and break Emily’s heart. That said, Gemma was sometimes surprising herself to think that Aaron was perfect for Emily and that they were meant to be together. She could see how happy Emily had been in the past few weeks, and she definitely knew that Aaron was the reason of such a happy mood.

Seth was very happy too that things were almost back to normal. Being able to talk to both his friends in the meantime, back to the good old times before all of this happened, was really making him happy. He could laugh with his friends, joke with them, vent after a hard day. He could go out with them during the week-end when he wanted. At some point, he had even come around to help finish building the nursery. He too, could see the change in Aaron and Emily’s moods. He had dared asking Aaron at one point, where they were in their relation, but the National Security Adviser had brushed things off, not wanting to enlarge on the situation. Seth could have been disappointed not to know, but no. He was happy, because he knew that if they didn’t want to talk about it, it meant that things were getting better. That’s how Aaron and Emily were always working, and he knew it.   
Due in two weeks, Emily was still working at the White House. She had been told repeatedly to finally start her maternity leave and to take things slow, but she was not listening. She didn’t see the point of taking days off before she would actually have the baby, especially since she was feeling perfectly fine, despite her back and her feet hurting most of the time. Her little scare a few weeks back seemed completely forgotten, which was worrying her friends a lot. So, of course, Phil and Aaron were doing most of her work. They were not even offering to help her anymore, they were just telling because they knew that she wouldn’t listen otherwise. Emily was spending most of her time at her desk, reading papers, writing memos or organizing things, but every time she wanted to set up a meeting with someone, Aaron or Phil were intervening, saying that they would do it instead of her. Emily had complained a few times to Seth and to Gemma, but both her friends were agreeing with Aaron and Phil, and this was utterly annoying her. She felt useless, stuck at her desk while the world was on fire. But deep inside, sometimes she could admit that her friends were right and that she needed to take things slow. 

On that very warm Tuesday of the end of the summer, Aaron was busy in the commands op. A huge crisis had started with the Middle East and he didn’t know when he would come out of this. It was annoying him to be stuck in a room in a basement of the White House most of the day, especially since he had a lot of other things to do, but he knew that it was his job and that they needed to get things done fast. As Emily’s deputy, Phil had taken her spot in the commands op for the past few weeks, since everybody now refused for her to be called on an ongoing crisis while she could give birth at any time. 

It was already late in the afternoon when Aaron came back up to his office to go over some things before going back down to the commands op. He really hoped that everything would be over soon, but he knew that everything could go down fast in the Middle East. He walked by Emily’s office quickly to ask her how everything was going, but she was just bored and desperate to have something to do. She wanted to go home, but the sole idea of going out of the West Wing when it was almost 90 degrees outside was preventing her from doing anything. 

“Hey, how is everything going?” he asked as he knocked at her door.  
“I’m just bored…” she complained.  
“Why don’t you just go home? It’s like what, almost five?” he said looking at his watch. “Nothing needing you in the White House is going to happen now anyway…”  
“Thanks for making me feel even more useless than I already am…” she said, groaning.  
“Em…”  
“No, I know you’re right… But I just wish I could do something else than organizing papers and preparing the schedule for tomorrow… It just sucks to be stuck at a desk… I can’t even go to meetings anymore…”  
“I know it sucks, but do you really consider giving birth in front of a Congress member during a meeting, or in front of an Ambassador?”  
“Yeah, no… Probably not the best kind of idea…” she sighed, defeated. 

Aaron chuckled and left her to go back to the commands op. He had only had time for a quick break today and was dying to come home and rest. He also desperately wanted the crisis to be over, and he was almost impatient to go back down to the PEOC, wondering if any progress had been made since he had left.

It’s only a couple of hours later that he finally came back upstairs for good. He knew he probably would have to come back tomorrow, but nothing more could be done for now, and they were just waiting on news. It was past seven but knew that he still had a lot to do, and would probably come home later in the night. Coming out of the elevator, he was jumped over by Seth who was waiting for him in the hallway.

“Damnit, finally…” the Press Secretary said.  
“What is going on?” Aaron asked, surprised.   
“Gemma took Emily to the maternity ward a couple of hours ago… She started having contractions just after you went back downstairs. Let’s go I’m taking you there…”  
“Wait what, why didn’t you tell me before?” Aaron exclaimed.  
“You were commands op…”  
“Yeah I know, but…”  
“It’s okay, don’t worry you’ll be there for the delivery. Labor had barely started last time I got news from Gemma…” Seth reassured Aaron. 

They quickly walked to Aaron’s office for him to pack up his things, and then drove to the hospital as Seth told him everything that had happened in two hours. It was already past eight in the evening, and Aaron realized that he could say goodbye to his night of sleep. He would be up all night supporting Emily in giving birth. Arriving there, they quickly headed to the room where Emily was, and they were greeted by Gemma who was waiting outside while the doctors were checking on her best friend. 

“How is she?” Aaron asked, concerned.  
“In pain… But the labor seems pretty fast, she probably won’t suffer very long.”  
“How fast?”  
“Fast enough that she wanted to keep her legs close as long as you’re not here…” 

Seth chuckled at Gemma’s answer, and Aaron smiled softly. He was feeling bad for Emily, he couldn’t imagine how much she was suffering, but it was making him happy that she didn’t want to give birth without him by her side. 

“When can I see her?” he asked.  
“As soon as the doctor is out…” she paused. “Which is now…” she continued as she saw the doctor coming out.

Aaron rushed by Emily’s side and she sighed loudly when she saw him. 

“Finally…” she exclaimed.  
“I know, I’m sorry… Seth was desperately waiting for me outside of the elevator to the commands op…” he answered, kissing her forehead. “How are you feeling?”  
“Like I’m gonna die… It just hurts so bad” she whined. 

Aaron gave Emily his hand so that she could tighten her grip around it, which she did as soon as she felt a contraction coming. She already looked exhausted and stressed out. They both were suddenly realizing that it was coming, that they would become parents in just a few hours.

“How far along are you?”  
“5… It’s pretty fast apparently, but it feels like it’s been hours to me.”  
“Can I get you anything? I don’t really know what to do…”   
“Just stay here… Please don’t leave me.”  
“I won’t. I promise I won’t.” Aaron answered, kissing her forehead once more. 

Aaron tried to make conversation to distract Emily from the contractions. Seth and Gemma came around for a bit, trying to support Emily in this ordeal. But with the hours passing, Seth decided to leave to get some sleep, and left the trio alone. It was a little after midnight when Emily was fully dilated, and the doctors asked for only one person to stay by Emily’s side as it was time to deliver the baby. Gemma and Aaron both looked at each other, but Emily’s hand gripped to Aaron’s made Gemma realize that Aaron should be the one here. 

“Stay with here, I’ll wait outside…” she said.   
“You sure?”   
“Yeah…”

Aaron nodded thankfully. He was relieved to see that Gemma was fine with Aaron being in Emily’s life. Deep inside, he had been worried that she wouldn’t let him be there for the delivery, even though all the tensions were appeased now. 

Things started going fast around the parents-to-be, and when Emily was asked to push, it felt like time was put on a hold. Nothing mattered anymore but the delivery of this little baby, Aaron’s hand tightened around Emily’s, encouraging her to push every time she had too. Emily could feel the tears fall down her cheeks as she was pushing. It was only the adrenaline that was making her push. She was exhausted, she could herself weaken with every push, but she knew she didn’t have the choice. Suddenly, the heard the doctor say that the head was out and that just one last push was needed. And by 12:53 p.m., they heard a baby cry out loud and they knew it was it. Aaron and Emily were parents. 

“It’s a girl!” the doctor exclaimed.

Olivia Rhodes-Shore was born fifty-three minutes after midnight on that Wednesday. Emily cried, Aaron cried too. They were both over the moon, finally being parents despite everything that happened between them, and for the first time in months, they didn’t think of anything else but their beautiful daughter being born. They were both extremely exhausted too. It’s not before 3 a.m. that Emily was finally in a room and had fed Olivia for the first time, Aaron and Gemma both by her side. It was the middle of the night and had just texted a few close relatives to announce the good news, knowing that everybody was probably sound asleep and not aware of that new little soul being born in Washington. Shortly after, Gemma left, knowing that she had to go to work in the morning, and Aaron decided to stay the night by Emily’s side. 

“You’re gonna have to go to work tomorrow. You should rest in your own bed…” Emily said, yawning.   
“What? No… I’m not letting you alone three hours after you gave birth to our daughter. Who would do that? Come on…” Aaron answered, taking her hand in his. 

Emily smiled softly, and even before Aaron could kiss her forehead, she was falling asleep, soon followed by Aaron, still holding her hand.

It was a little before ten in the morning but Aaron was already back at the White House after a very short night. Sleeping in a chair was really not comfortable, nor was sleeping in a hospital. They had been woken up more than once and were not really rested. Allowing himself to come in later than usual, he had just taken the time to come back to his place to take a shower and change, and he was now walking around the hallways of the West Wing with a very large cup of dark coffee in his hand, his fuel for the day.

“Aaron, what are you doing here today?”  
“I’m sorry, sir?” Aaron asked, not understanding.

It was Tom Kirkman who had caught him in the hallway as he was walking toward Phil’s office, and Aaron was surprised with the President’s comment.

“Didn’t Emily give birth last night?” the President asked.  
“She did... but…” Aaron answered.  
“Aaron, I know you’re the father of her child. Just take a few days off, spend time with them…”

Aaron rose an eyebrow, surprised.

“How?” he asked.  
“How do I know?” Tom Kirkman answered.

Aaron nodded.

“Come on, I know what is happening in my building... You don’t have to tell me for me to know it… Congratulations! What’s her name, it’s a girl, right?”   
“Yeah… Olivia, but we’ll probably call her Liv or Livy.”   
“Do you already have pictures?” Tom Kirkman asked, smiling.   
“I do…” 

Aaron took his phone out and showed a couple of pictures to the President.

“She is absolutely gorgeous!” Tom Kirkman exclaimed. “Do you know when Emily will be out of the hospital?”   
“She should be out tonight or tomorrow morning. Most probably tonight though, since everything looks good."  
“Fine, I’ll go say hello in the afternoon, I’ll ask Mike to take me there.”  
“You don’t have to, Sir…”  
“Come on, you know I will!” 

Aaron nodded and smiled gently. 

“Come on, go back to them” the President continued.   
“Are you sure?”   
“Yes, of course I am. The world can run without you guys for a few days…”  
“Thank you Sir, I’ll just head to Phil’s office quickly and go back to the hospital afterwards.”

Tom Kirkman shook Aaron’s hand and walked back to the Oval Office, leaving the National Security Adviser to his own business. Aaron knew that Gemma was with Emily at the hospital, she had ended up taken the morning off to stay with the new mom. Texting Gemma, he asked her when she needed to be at the White House to take over by Emily’s side. They didn’t want to leave her alone so soon after giving birth to Olivia. He talked with Phil a little bit, showing him pictures of Olivia too. It felt good to talk to someone freely about it, Phil was one of the only ones in the West Wing to actually know what had happened between Aaron and Emily and that he was the father of her baby, even though everybody had guessed a long time ago. And then, he crossed path with Seth who said that he was just coming back from the hospital to see Emily and Olivia. Aaron lost track of time, talking with his friends, and it was already noon before he had time to do anything. He decided to head the Capitol to have lunch with his cousin. Nadia was excited to be an aunt and already wanted to spoil Olivia with hundreds of cuddly toys, clothes and other presents. 

“Do you have pictures?” Nadia asked, bouncing on her seat with excitement.   
“Of course…” Aaron smiled, unlocking his phone and showing her pictures.  
“Oh my God, she’s the cutest. She looks like you, doesn’t she?” Nadia exclaimed.  
“Nad… She’s just a baby, how do you want her to look like anyone…” Aaron chuckled.  
“But it’s true, she has your nose, and your jaw too…” Nadia continued.  
“Don’t you think you’re a little biased?” Aaron laughed, shaking his head.  
“Yeah, probably…” Nadia laughed too. 

Soon the cousins had to separate ways as Nadia was going back to work and Aaron was headed to the hospital. When he arrived there, Olivia was softly whimpering, ready to be fed. Emily offered him to do it, and he sat in the chair with Olivia in his arms. A nurse came around with a bottle ready, and Aaron was suddenly feeling unsure of how to do it. He couldn’t still quite believe that this little thing in his arms was his daughter, she seemed so fragile he was almost worried she would break. It seemed like the world had stopped around him, he was so proud to be a dad, so proud to give her the bottle and have her in his arms. Emily snapped a couple of pictures of Aaron feeding their daughter, and she could almost imagine that they were a real family. Exhaustion and dreams of this family made her shed a tear, and when Aaron noticed after having fed Olivia, he sat next to Emily, their baby girl still in his arms. He put his free arm around Emily to cuddle her and she let herself to crying. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked.  
“Nothing…” she deflected.  
“Em…” he scolded gently.  
“It’s just… I’m thinking about what we could be, about this perfect family we could be if I had not been that stubborn and I had not done all these stupid things…”  
“We might not be that perfect family for now, but I have hope that we will, one day. We just have to give us time to work things out and heal properly, both of us. But we’ll be fine…” he reassured her.

Aaron put Olivia back in her little bassinet and came back to cuddle Emily. 

“Trust me, I know things will be okay, one day.” he said.   
“Yeah?”   
“Yeah.”

Reassured, she fell asleep hung to his chest, and knew that one day, they would be that perfect family she was still dreaming of.


	14. A Sort Of Routine

Getting used to being parents wasn’t as easy as it seemed. For Emily, the change was quite impressive: She was now stuck at home with a baby to change, feed and put to bed. Before Olivia’s birth, she was sleep-deprived because of work, now she was sleep-deprived because of her daughter, and she didn’t know what was the worst. Of course, she loved Olivia very much, she was her daughter, her baby girl, and she wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world. Sometimes though, she was thinking about everything and wondering if things could have been different, had she been less stubborn. 

Aaron’s absence was really hard to handle too. It’s not that he wasn’t involved with Emily and Olivia, not at all. But work was taking so much of his time that he couldn’t take care of his daughter as much as he wanted. Since Emily was away from work, Aaron had officially taken over her job, making him the acting Chief of Staff. An even though Phil was helping Aaron a lot, it was very demanding to do two jobs at once. He would rarely leave work before midnight and it could take days before he was able to see Olivia and Emily. He hated that so much, it seemed very unfair to him that Olivia was growing up without him by her side, and it seemed very unfair that he wasn’t there to help Emily out. 

One thing that wasn’t easy to handle either was Emily’s relationship with Aaron. Even if a couple of months ago, it had seemed like a good idea not to put labels on what they were or were not, it was becoming harder with every day passing by to stay in this limbo. Emily knew she shouldn’t and couldn’t push Aaron into something he didn't want, but she was constantly wondering if one day he would come to terms with everything that had happened between them. Sometimes she wanted to talk to him, to tell him what she was feeling, but it was really hard to say those things. Gemma couldn’t stop teasing her either, and it was frustrating her. Several times, Emily had denied being with Aaron, but Gemma could see the looks, the smiles and the touches. She couldn’t stop asking details and be curious. All of this was making Emily very self-conscious about herself and her body. She had given birth to Olivia a month and a half ago. Of course, she had not lost all the pounds she had gained during her pregnancy, and sometimes she was wondering if she looked good, if she was as attractive as she used to be, if Aaron was still interested in her, if she would ever be seductive again.

_  
“Hey, I managed to leave early tonight, want me to bring food over?”_  
-Aaron

Emily’s mood lightened up instantly when she read Aaron’s text. It was a Tuesday evening, and she was pacing around with Olivia in her arms, trying to make her sleep. So, when his text popped on her phone, she sighed, relieved to know that Aaron would be there soon to help her. Sitting for a second, she quickly answered Aaron with her crying daughter in her arms, and started pacing again in the room afterwards. 

“Daddy will be there soon, yeah? You want to see Daddy? I know, me too…” Emily told Olivia. “Why don’t you want to stop crying? I just fed you, and I just changed you, and I know you are tired… Come on, Liv…”

When Aaron knocked at the door 15 minutes later, Emily was still pacing with Olivia in her arms. She had stopped crying, but she was still fussing. The new-mom opened the door and almost jumped in Aaron’s arms, desperate to finally have some support.

“Thank God, you’re here…”  
“What is going on?” he asked, walking in and putting the food on the kitchen counter.  
“She’s just really cranky today, I spent the last hour walking in the living room with her crying in my arms…”

Emily looked exhausted. She had shadows under her eyes, had not showered in three days and was wearing one of those very large sweaters and sweat pants she had kept from college. She was about to burst into tears and Aaron could see it. He softly kissed Emily on her forehead in an attempt to comfort her and offered to take Olivia in his arms. 

“Hey, baby girl… Why are you giving Mommy such a hard time today? What is going on?” he asked, rocking her softly.

Emily sat on a chair and sighed, happy to finally have support after such a complicated day. She looked at Aaron who was just pacing in the living room with his daughter and smiled softly. He was perfect with her, it was instinctive. Emily was always amazed to see how easy it seemed for Aaron to take care of their daughter. Olivia already seemed calmer, and after a few minutes, Aaron walked to her bedroom to put her to bed. 

When Aaron came back to the living room, Emily was reheating the food Aaron had brought and seemed happier than before. 

“You cannot know how happy I am that you are here tonight. I just couldn’t anymore…” she said honestly. 

Aaron walked toward her and took her in his arms, kissing her temple and letting her cuddle against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes for a few seconds, enjoying the comfort of his arms. 

“I’m sorry it was that bad…” he said softly. “Do you want me to take her to my place tonight? So you can sleep for a full night?”  
“Nah, it will be fine… And you have to work early tomorrow anyway… But you can take her during the week-end if you want, when you don’t work.”  
“Sure”

Bringing the food in the living room, they ate on the couch, enjoying some quiet time as Olivia finally seemed settled. It was one of those days when she would not sleep more than an hour in a row, and Emily and Aaron were happy that she finally was sound asleep, even though Aaron had not spent much time with his daughter. Emily let her head fall on Aaron’s chest after they finished eating, but she could feel that he already wanted to leave. He had not spent one night with her, was always leaving after dinner and was still restraining himself a lot. She could feel it and she wanted to talk to him about it. But it was a hard topic to broach. It was still hard for both of them to talk about their feelings, even though they both knew that they couldn’t continue like this forever. Even for Aaron, it had become harder in the last month and a half since Olivia was born. It seemed like the birth of their daughter had done the trick, and everything had clicked in him. He loved Emily, even if it was still hard for him to admit it. He knew that he was restraining himself with Emily, but he wasn’t even really doing it on purpose. It’s just that he was still walking on eggshells with Emily, and he didn’t even really know why. So, after a little while, he was ready to leave for the night. 

“I should get going…” Aaron told Emily, standing from the couch.  
“Aaron… Wait.” Emily pleaded, holding his hand.

Aaron sat back on the couch and looked at Emily. He was surprised that she wanted to talk, she was usually never saying anything when he was leaving. It was like an understanding between the two of them.

“Can I ask you a question?” Emily asked, unsure.  
“Yeah, of course…” he answered.  
“I… If Olivia wasn’t there, would you come, just to see me?” 

It had come like a murmur, she wasn’t sure how to say what she wanted to say. 

“How do you mean?”  
“I know that… it’s still a little complicated between us, even if… You know” she stammered. “But, sometimes I wonder if you are being nice to me only because Olivia is here…”

Aaron sighed. He ran his hand in his hair, trying to think how he could explain his feelings to Emily without making things sound awkward.

“Em… I am not nice to you just because of Olivia. Of course not” he asserted. “But if you want me to be honest, I don’t know where we would be today, if she was not there. Of course, she brought us back together. But I’m not staying here with you only because of Olivia, I’m not cuddling you just because of Olivia. If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t. I was cuddling you before she was born anyway…” he reminded her.  
“It’s just… I can feel that you restrain yourself.”  
“Because I want Olivia to be our priority. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you, I already told you. Or that I’m coming in the evenings just for her. I’m coming for you too…”  
“Yeah?”  
“Absolutely.”  
“Can you stay, tonight, please?”  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah, I want you to hold me tight tonight, I need you to hold me tight… It’s just been a long day and I need you here.”

Aaron nodded and Emily continued. 

“I know that we said we wouldn’t put labels on what we are or what we aren’t, but this limbo is starting to be hard for me. I don’t know what you feel, I just wish we could have a normal relationship. I want us to be normal… For once.” Emily admitted.  
“Are you saying that you want us… to be together?” Aaron asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Emily nodded softly. She was afraid he would say no, that she was pressuring him to do something he didn’t want to. That it was too soon after everything that had happened between them. She was biting her lower lip, tears already coming to her eyes, afraid that he would push her back. 

“I want that too, Em…” he smiled at her.  
“Really?”  
“Really.” he confirmed, putting his hand on hers. 

His face coming nearer hers, their lips suddenly crashed together, erasing the fears of rejection she was carrying in herself. Their tongues dancing together, Aaron put his hand in her neck, his thumb caressing her gently. Emily’s arms were around him, holding him as tight as she could, as if she was afraid he would change his mind. Gently, he pushed Emily to lie on the couch and lied on top of her, kissing her languorously. Her hands were starting to roam in his back, desperate to tug on the hem of his shirt. She slipped her hand under his shirt, feeling the soft skin of his back under her touch. It felt good to make out, to feel loved and finally be together. 

Deep in their passion, they didn’t even hear Gemma coming home, and it’s only when she cleared her throat that they were suddenly stopped in their make-out, quickly sitting back up on the couch.

“Enjoying yourselves, I see…” she said with a smirk. 

Emily and Aaron were both too ashamed to even answer. Emily was blushing and Aaron was just lowering his head, not wanting to cross Gemma’s eyes. 

“Let’s be honest, I don’t want to hear again all this bullshit ‘We’re not together’, cause you clearly are…” 

Gemma laughed softly and headed toward her bedroom, letting the two lovers on their own. But before closing her door, she yelled: 

“Hey Em… We need to add the ‘no sex on the couch’ rule…” 

When they heard the door closing, they chuckled softly, ashamed of being caught by Gemma. Emily let her head fall on Aaron’s shoulder, desperately trying to hide herself. 

“Well, let’s just say that we won’t have kept that a secret for long…” Aaron commented.  
“I’m sure she already texted Seth…” Emily added. 

There was a pause as Aaron chuckled, already imagining the numerous teasing he would have to face the day after at work. 

“Maybe we should go to bed, don’t you think? Try to catch some sleep before Livy wakes up…”  
“Too late…” Emily said when she heard Olivia cry.  
“Go to bed, I’ll take care of her… She’s probably just hungry, right?”  
“Yeah, it’s been a while I fed her… And Gemma probably woke her up with her door closing.”  
“Her yelling, you mean?” he chuckled.  
“Yeah, that too…” Emily answered as Aaron was raising to pick up Olivia from her bedroom. 

That night, Emily slept better than she had in the last few months. Holding Aaron tight against her, she felt safe and comfortable, and even Olivia waking them up in the middle of the night didn’t prevent Emily from sleeping well. The day after, Aaron left after giving Olivia her first bottle of the day and went home to change. And when he arrived at the White House, he didn’t even have the time to reach his office before he was jumped over by Seth. 

“So… You wanna tell me something?” the Press Secretary asked, smirking.  
“I think you already know, don’t you?” Aaron answered, rolling his eyes.  
“I’m just so happy for you guys…” Seth exclaimed.

Aaron shook his head and smiled. It was making him laugh to see everybody so excited that he and Emily were together. 

“It took you long enough…” Seth continued.

Aaron rolled his eyes, laughing at his friend. They were reaching Aaron’s office and the Press Secretary invited himself inside. 

“So, it’s for real?” Seth asked.  
“Yeah, it is.”  
“You’re finally making things right… I’m so happy, I was rooting for the both of you so much!”  
“Rooting for us? What do you think we are? A movie couple?”  
“Huh, sort of…” Seth shrugged, laughing.  
“Okay, just get out of here already…” Aaron laughed. 

Aaron sat in his chair as Seth left his office. He chuckled, realizing that not only Seth, but probably the whole building already knew that he and Emily were together, and took his phone out of his pocket. He took a few minutes to consider how and what to say, but there was only one thing he wanted to ask Emily.

_  
“Want to come to my place tonight?”_  
-Aaron 


	15. Not The Best Kind of Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) Just a little note to thank everyone for their comments and kudos. It might take me a little longer to update from now on (I won't be home), but I'll do my best. I hope you'll like this chapter, please review!

With everything now being great between Aaron and Emily, it seemed that the time was flying by. Before they all knew it, Emily was already back to work, and Olivia was going to daycare. They had opted for this solution after considering all the others but realizing that none would ever perfectly fit their hours anyway. They would try to alternate picking up Olivia. Sometimes it was Emily, sometimes it was Aaron, it usually depended on their workload. Gemma too, was picking her up sometimes, but it was pretty rare. Olivia’s parents were committed to raising her and taking care of her as much as they could on their own, even though of course, sometimes people close to them were helping too. Gemma’s help was requested the most since she was leaving with Emily, but Nadia and Seth loved to take care of the little girl when they could too. 

It had now been a month since Emily was back to work, and though she was overall very happy to be back in the adults world, it was much harder than she had imagined to adjust to everything. Working more than 12 hours a day and raising a 4-month-old baby in the meantime was tough. Added to this new relationship that she was continuously building with the father of Olivia, also working more than 12 hours a day, it was really hard to deal with everything. Of course, they were not yet living together and not ready for that, but it was also adding to the pressure as they were constantly running from one place to another. Emily had broke down more than once, exhausted with the weight on her shoulders. It’s not that she was alone in this, or that she felt alone in this either, but it was just too much to handle. Rarely sleeping more than five hours a night, interspersed with Olivia’s cries for bottles, was not healthy and she could feel it. She was jumpy. Sometimes, she was even snapping at people for nothing, especially at work where she had lost all patience. Everybody around could see it, and was trying to help her every way they could, but sometimes they were just afraid of how all of this would end up. It had even happened twice that her friends would ask her to calm down and take a break, sometimes forcing her to go home and rest, and leaving Phil with all the work at the White House.

Aaron too, was exhausted, but he was dealing better with the tiredness. He was always doing his best to help Emily too. More than once, he had taken over her, assuming the role of acting Chief of Staff to relieve Emily from the duty of a meeting, or help Phil out with the workload on the poor deputy’s shoulders. Aaron was running on coffee most of the time, but everybody could see the shadows under his eyes too. 

The most frustrated in all of this was Gemma. She was Emily’s best friend, she had moved in with her to help her out after Olivia’s birth, but she didn’t know what to do. Emily was constantly running here and there, not letting Gemma help as much as she wanted, and now that Aaron was in Emily’s life, it was hard to come forward and offer her support. She felt it wasn’t her place to say anything, and she didn’t want to intervene between Emily and Aaron. She could see how exhausted her best friend was, but Emily was not one to ask for help. Most of the time, Gemma was just there at night or when daycare was closed, and it was annoying her not to be able to do more. 

That Wednesday was one of those days, and Emily had been a fury almost all morning. Seth had caught her yelling at a staffer for not doing a good job —even though he knew that was not true— and Aaron had caught her crying in an empty room after a meeting. So after lunch, Aaron and Gemma had agreed to force Emily to go back home for the rest of the day. Aaron had offered to pick up Olivia from daycare at the end of the day, and Gemma had said she would come home early to prepare dinner. Of course, Emily had resisted, saying she didn’t have the time, that she couldn’t leave Phil on his own once more, that it was not professional to take an afternoon off when she wasn’t sick. Her best friend and her boyfriend had shared a look and sighed, and it’s only after Aaron drove her back home that Emily was left with no choice but to stay out of the White House for the afternoon. They knew that she would text and ask how everything was going, but at least they were hopeful she wouldn’t come back. 

For Aaron, it meant his workload had suddenly become heavier. Even though he was not the Chief of Staff, he was considered the acting Chief of Staff when Emily wasn’t there. Doing two jobs at once was tough, especially when they were high-profile jobs in the White House, and even though Phil was there and to handle the Chief of Staff’s duties, it wasn’t the same. The workload was always heavier when Emily wasn’t there, and both men were usually caught up in back-to-back meetings. This is exactly what had happened during the afternoon, as Aaron had run here and there between a crisis and meetings. At 6 p.m., he realized that daycare was closing in an hour and he had to pick up Olivia, but he was nowhere near ready to be done with the work and started wondering how he would do all of this. He left work in a hurry ten minutes before daycare’s closing time, packing things to do at home once Olivia would be asleep at night. Olivia was the only one left in daycare and he felt really bad, like a terrible parent leaving his daughter to be raised by some stranger most of the time. As he promised Emily, he took Olivia to his own apartment to leave her some time alone to catch up some sleep. 

Taking care of his daughter was one of his greatest joys in his life. He loved babbling with her, feeding her, playing with her and rocking her to sleep. He lost track of time, and it’s only when she started rubbing her eyes that he realized she should already be sleeping. It didn’t take time for her to fall asleep, and when Aaron came back to the living room, he decided to pour himself a glass of wine and to work a little bit on a memo he had brought home from the White House. Though, he didn’t have time to do much before someone knocked at the door. It was starting to be late and he didn’t expect anyone, so he just figured it was Emily who could probably not sleep or did not want to stay alone for the night. Opening the door, his jaw dropped when he realized it was Ryan, his Californian best-friend who was there. 

“Hey man, what are you doing here?” he said, hugging him.  
“Coming for a conference in your town tomorrow, I thought I would surprise you.” Ryan answered.  
“A conference? Since when do real estate agents have conferences?” Aaron laughed.  
“You would actually be surprised…” Ryan said, laughing too. 

Aaron offered Ryan a glass of wine as they sat on the couch, catching up after a few months away. 

“I thought you would be out finding a girl…” Ryan joked after a moment.  
“Huh, no… I have stuff to do, it was pretty tough at work today. And Livy is sleeping right now…”  
“Livy?”  
“I’m taking care of her tonight…”

Ryan spit his wine as he realized everything.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that your daughter is here and that you actually do that co-parenting thing you were talking about? With that bitch that betrayed you?” Ryan exclaimed.  
“She's not…” Aaron answered, defending Emily. “And huh… We actually started dating a couple of months ago…” he admitted, not sure how to say that.  
“Oh my God… What has she done to you, Aaron Shore…” Ryan sighed.  
“Nothing, we worked things out.”  
“Come on, Aaron! She’s a lying bitch, she betrayed you, she clearly didn’t want you in this baby’s life, and you’re saying that you forgave her?”  
“It’s more complicated than that you know…” Aaron tempered.  
“It didn’t seem that complicated when you discovered you were the father a few months ago…” Ryan snorted, rolling his eyes. 

Aaron continued to defend Emily and explain his point of view, but it didn’t seem to change Ryan’s judgement. The Californian womanizer couldn’t get that Aaron had forgiven Emily and that they were actually together. He couldn’t get that Aaron was settling with a girl. It wasn’t very surprising though, since the former college football quarterback had never even imagined spending more than one night with the same girl. Ryan was 34 but refused to even consider settling with a woman. He had been betrayed, cheated on by his very first girlfriend, his high-school sweetheart, and had since then decided he would never fall in love again. From their football team, Aaron and Ryan were the last ones to be single, and seeing Aaron finally settle with someone was like having his last partner-in-crime abandoning him. Ryan really hated the idea. 

It was a little after ten when they heard a knock on the door. Aaron joked, saying that Ryan had decided to bring the whole football team to Washington for the night, but it was Emily who obviously couldn’t stay alone.

“Hey…” he said, kissing her softly.  
“I’m sorry I’m coming this late… I couldn’t sleep…”  
“It’s fine, don’t worry. Ryan is here, he’s in town for a couple of days so he decided to surprise me.”  
“Oh… Am I bothering you?” she asked, ready to leave.  
“No, no, come in. Olivia is sleeping…” 

Emily walked in the apartment but soon realized that Ryan was very cold with her. His glass of wine in one hand, he didn’t even stand to greet Emily and the icy ‘hello’ he murmured made it clear he didn’t want to talk to Emily. The atmosphere was more than tense, Emily feeling extremely uncomfortable and Aaron shooting death glares at Ryan, silently asking him to be polite with his girlfriend. Aaron wanted to offer Emily something to drink, but before he could pour anything in a glass, Olivia started fussing and he went to the bedroom to take care of her. It had only been a couple of minutes he was with his daughter when he heard the front door slam, surprising him and making him hastily come back to the living room with Olivia in his arms. 

“What is going on?” Aaron asked when he saw Emily gone and Ryan still sitting on the couch, sipping his wine.  
“Nothing…” Ryan answered, unable to hide the smirk on his face.  
“Ryan… What the fuck did you say?” Aaron grumbled.  
“Nothing…” the Californian answered, raising a hand in protest.  
“Ryan!” Aaron finally yelled, making Olivia fuss.  
“Just said the truth…” he finally admitted.  
“What truth?”

Aaron couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t imagine that Ryan had actually been an ass with Emily to the point that made her decide to run away. 

“The truth about her, and you… and that baby… ” he said blankly, looking at Olivia with disdain.  
“Get the hell out of here, Ryan.” Aaron announced.  
“Oh, come on…”  
“I won’t say it a second time… And don’t believe that because Livy’s here that I won’t punch you.” Aaron exclaimed a little loud, making Olivia fuss again. 

Ryan snorted and rose from his seat, putting his glass on the coffee table and walking toward the door.

“You’ll thank me, one day…” he said before closing the door on him.

Aaron’s mind was racing, he didn’t know what Ryan had said, but he knew that it was bad enough to make Emily leave suddenly. He didn’t know what to do. All he wanted to do was run after her, but it was too complicated with Olivia here. It was really late and he didn’t know how all of this would unfold. He was freaking out and Olivia could feel it, she had started crying in her father’s arms. Rocking his daughter, he took his phone and tried to call Emily, once, twice, but she never answered. He tried to call Gemma too, even though he knew she would stand by her best friend’s side. She didn’t answer either. 

Emily had heard her phone ringing, she knew it was Aaron, but she didn’t want to answer. She couldn’t. She was in tears, sobbing almost uncontrollably. Ryan had been the worst with her, insulting her, telling her everything Aaron had done and said when he had gone to California a few months ago. Ryan had even told Emily that that one day or another, Aaron would realize his mistake and leave her on her own. 

She didn’t even know how she managed to drive home with the tears in her eyes, and when she arrived, she rushed in her best friend’s arms as soon as she entered their apartment. 

“What is going on?” Gemma had asked, shocked to see Emily in such a state. 

It took several minutes before Emily could say anything, uncontrollably sobbing in Gemma’s arms. The red-haired was imagining thousands of scenarios: an accident, someone dying, Aaron breaking up with her…

“Emily, what happened?” Gemma asked again after a few minutes.  
“I… I can’t be with Aaron. I’m not good enough for him. He’ll never forgive me for what I have done.” Emily said, still sobbing.  
“Why are you saying that? What did he say?”  
“He didn’t say anything…”  
“What?” Gemma was confused. “Okay, tell me exactly what happened.”  
“I…” Emily started, jolting. “I went to his place, and his friend was there… The one from California. And… When Aaron left to pick up Olivia… Ryan told me that Aaron would never forgive me, that I was a whore, that he would realize everything soon and that he would leave me alone with Olivia, that it’s the only thing I deserved… He told me that Aaron had hooked up with a lot of girls while he was with him in California a few months back, and that Aaron would never be faithful to me, because it wasn’t how human beings were supposed to be and that I didn’t deserve it anyway. And he also told me that I should have the decency to resign and move far away from Washington and away from him.”

Her sobs had intensified during her explanations, she just couldn’t stop. It was as if reality had hit her hard, as if she suddenly realized that she could never be happy with Aaron and their daughter, that she would never have that perfect little family she had started to hope she would have. She felt broken in thousands of pieces. 

“What did Aaron say?” Gemma asked.  
“Nothing, I ran away before he could say anything… He didn’t even hear what Ryan told me…”  
“Oh, Emily…” Gemma sighed. “You shouldn’t listen to what some douche has to say about your relationship with Aaron…”  
“But he’s right… Everything he said is true, Aaron will never love me, he will never stay with me. I should just break up with him, and leave far from him.” Emily answered.  
“Are you out of your mind, Emily?” Gemma argued.

That’s when Emily’s phone rang again, and she knew that it was Aaron. It couldn’t be anyone else, he had been constantly trying to call her since she ran away from his place. Still sobbing, she wiped the tears off of her cheeks with the hem of her sweater and with a big inspiration, answered. 

“Em, I’ve been calling you for the past hour, what did he say to you? What is going on, please come back, let’s talk. I’m really worried, please…” he begged, not letting her the time to talk.  
“It’s over, Aaron.” she answered. “You and me, we’re never going to make this right, it’s over.”


	16. A Lingering Sense of Déjà-Vu

A couple of days had passed since that night. It had been terribly hard days for both of them. Aaron had tried to talk to Emily more than once, in vain. He had called her again and again after she had hung up on him in the evening. The morning after, he had tried to talk to her, he had even tried to ambush her in one corner of the White House to make her talk, but nothing. She was shutting him out every time he would try to talk, pushing him away when he was standing in her way. She had texted him at the beginning of the afternoon to tell him she would be the one picking up their daughter from daycare in the evening, and since then, nothing. Every time he was trying to talk to her for something other than work, she would just build her walls back up instantly, pushing him away and leaving him alone. He had tried calling her every day, and he had even tried to come to her place late at night when he knew that she would be there. Nothing. He was desperate and he still didn’t know what had happened exactly or what Ryan had told her. He had not heard back from Ryan, and he really didn’t want to. He was so pissed at him he didn’t even know if he could ever forgive him for what he had done. 

So, on that third day without a word, Aaron took all the strength he had to finally talk to Gemma. He was afraid of how the red-haired would react, she was Emily’s best friend after all. He was persuaded that she would take Emily’s side, of course, and that she would yell at him for all the terrible things he didn’t know he had done. He was even surprised that she had not yelled at him sooner and that she had kept it highly professional with him even though her best friend was in a terrible state of mind. It took the end of a meeting with several colleagues for him to be able to talk to her privately. 

“I didn’t think it would take you that long to talk to me…” Gemma said when she saw him coming toward her.  
“I… I didn’t know how you would react.” Aaron admitted.   
“I’m sure, but you can relax, I won’t bite.”

Aaron rose an eyebrow, unsure of how to react. 

“Emily’s too stubborn for her own good…” Gemma continued.  
“Wait, so you’re not on her side?” he asked, shocked.  
“Don’t push… I’m still her best friend” Gemma chuckled, rolling her eyes. “But she’s done shit the other night…”  
“I don’t even know what happened, I came back to the room, she had slammed the door and Ryan was just his usual self with his cocky grin and attitude.” Aaron admitted.  
“You didn’t ask him?” Gemma questioned.   
“He just told me that he told Emily the truth about her, Liv and me.” he said, quoting in the air. “I threw him out of my place right after, I was just so pissed…”

Gemma sighed, considering what she should say or not. She was annoyed her best friend wouldn’t take the matter in her own hands and talk to Aaron, but she didn’t want to betray Emily either. Soon though, she realized that Aaron was not responsible for anything that had happened —except having a crappy best friend— and that she should tell him everything she knew. He didn’t deserve any of this crap, and she could see that he was suffering too. And truth was, she wanted Aaron and Emily to get back together, they were great together and she couldn’t deny it. 

“I don’t know anything more than what Emily told me, but…” she started.

Gemma told Aaron everything, and little by little she could see him crumple, realizing that it was even worse than what he thought. He was at a loss for words with everything. It all started spinning in his head, trying to think of how he could make it up to Emily, how she could possibly want to come back to him after everything Ryan had said. The problem was, nothing was untrue in what Ryan had said, it was just things Aaron didn’t think anymore. Of course, a few months back, when he was hurt and depressed, he had said stupid things, but he wasn't his normal self at the time. He had done stupid things, but he couldn’t even remember most of them… 

The only thing reassuring him was that Gemma was nice to him. It relieved him a bit to know what the red-haired wasn’t an enemy on his path to win back Emily, even though he didn’t really understand why. 

“She’s exhausted, I heard her crying most of the past two nights. I don’t understand why she is so stubborn with all of this, she should at least talk to you…” Gemma admitted.  
“Well, be reassured she’s not the only one who isn’t sleeping well…” Aaron sighed.   
“I do not doubt it… I’m working on it though, at least to make her talk to you…”  
“Thank you…” Aaron said, nodding. “I’d like to see my daughter too…” Aaron admitted.  
“She won’t prevent you from seeing her, don’t worry. It’s not her type. But you’ll have to pick up Olivia from daycare I guess.”

Aaron nodded and thanked Gemma for being so understanding with everything. He was truly surprised with her, and in a good way. 

The rest of the day went by at the same pace, and the day after too. It was breaking him to see Emily run away from him every time they were crossing paths, to see her shut down completely when she couldn’t help but work with him, when she was sending Phil instead of her in a one-to-one meeting. 

At the end of the fourth day, he texted Emily, telling her he wanted to pick Olivia from daycare for the weekend. He had not seen his daughter in four days, and it was too much for him. He couldn’t take it anymore. She agreed without resisting, even though he knew that it would be hard for her not to see her daughter for the whole weekend. He almost considered offering to drop Olivia at her place on Saturday night, but he knew it was the best way not to see his daughter from the whole weekend, because he knew Emily didn’t want him near her apartment and she would shut him out again. 

On Saturday afternoon, Aaron decided to take a walk with Olivia in her stroller. Nadia joined them, as well as Seth after a little while. They grabbed coffee down a place the three of them knew, and then walked toward the river, along the Potomac. Aaron knew this city by heart, having run there, walked there, and lived there for the past 12 years. Talking with his friends was reassuring him, it seemed that everybody was on his side, supporting him even though they knew he had said some pretty stupid things back when he was in California. They all remembered the state of mind he was in at the time, when he had just learned about his paternity, and they didn’t seem to hold it against him. 

“Maybe it will get better, I mean, she has to talk to you for that little one here at least…” Nadia tried to reassure, tucking Olivia in her stroller.  
“Yeah, well apart from a few very cold texts, Olivia didn’t do a miracle this time…” Aaron sighed, desperate.   
“She will realize she made a mistake.” Seth assured. “I mean, she loves you, everybody can see it so… She will come around at one point or another…”  
“Does she, though?” Aaron asked, unsure.  
“Oh, come on man, you’re not that blind, are you?”

Aaron didn’t answer, he just shrugged. 

“Aaron, I’m sure it will be fine…” Nadia said, putting her arm around his and her head on his shoulder.   
“It’s been almost a week, nothing has changed. She shuts me down every time it is not for work or for Olivia. And even for work, I mean, she sends Phil to talk to me most of the time…”   
“It just feels so similar to the last time you weren’t talking…” Seth admitted.  
“Yeah? Well I just hope it won’t take her that long to come back…” Aaron said, bitter.  
“Oh no, I’m sure it won’t. Gemma is already tired of her bullshit, she’s going to yell at her sooner rather than later.” Seth laughed.   
“Don’t know if that will do any good though…” Nadia commented.  
“Oh trust me, it will. Gemma could frighten Lucifer if she wanted…” Seth said, making them all laugh. 

In her apartment, Emily had done nothing but walk around in circles all day. She was exhausted but couldn’t sleep more than two hours in a row, suddenly woken up by Olivia’s cries popping in her mind, or a nightmare of Aaron yelling at her all the terrible things she had done. She couldn’t help but think about everything Ryan had told her a few days ago, and she was starting to seriously consider packing and leaving, taking Olivia with her and running away somewhere, in Canada or even in Europe. She had even packed a bag and hid in the corner of her room, thinking about it sometimes, still not sure of what she should do. She was relieved though, that Aaron had finally stopped calling her to try and talk, that he had stopped trying to ambush her in an empty room of the West Wing. But she knew it wasn’t the end of it, she knew he would try again one day or another. 

She needed to keep her mind busy and had undertaken to clean the whole apartment, vacuuming and moping the floor, cleaning the windows, doing the dusting and other things here and there. She had woken up Gemma with the noise and the red-haired had yelled at her, but Emily couldn’t care less about it. She was exhausted physically and mentally. She was trying her best not to think about Aaron, or Olivia for that matter since she was with him at the time, but of course it didn’t work. How could it work? How could a mother not think about her almost five-month-old daughter all the time?

In the afternoon, Gemma came out of her bedroom once again, grumpy from hearing Emily make so much noise all day long.

“You know what?” she snapped. “I think you really need a good fuck to make things up with Aaron. I’m really tired of hearing you cleaning that damn apartment while it’s already clean and there is no baby to cry for once!”  
“And you just lash out at me like that for no reason?” Emily asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“No reason, that’s what you call no reason? Goddamnit Emily! I swear you are the most stubborn woman in the world. You have a man that loves you and cares for you after everything you’ve done to him, and you just push him away because his asshole of a best friend said some shit on you?” Gemma raised her voice.  
“He doesn’t love me…” Emily announced.  
“He doesn’t? Have you looked at him recently? He does everything he can for you and Olivia, I never thought I could say that because believe me, I really didn’t like him when I met him, but damnit he truly is an amazing guy. Every time he sees you exhausted at work, he takes over you and drowns with the workload because he helps you instead of leaving you deal with you own shit. He takes Olivia at night with him even though he only sleeps for four or five hours, just to be sure that you and I can have restful night away from a crying baby. His life his dedicated to you and Olivia since he came around the idea of being a father” Gemma argued.  
“It’s just the aftershock, he will soon realize that I’m not worth it and that he would be better off without me.” Emily answered.  
“Oh my God!” Gemma yelled. “Emily, please listen to what you say. Why are you so damn stupid sometimes?”  
“You’re supposed to be on my side…” Emily told Gemma.  
“I am and I always will be. But you need to realize that you made a mistake, that the guy will not leave you. HE. LOVES. YOU.” Gemma insisted loudly.   
“Just leave me alone, will you?” Emily grumbled. 

Gemma sighed and left the living room, slamming the door of her bedroom to make it clear that she was annoyed. She couldn’t understand why her best friend was so stubborn and why she didn’t want to talk to Aaron. As for Emily, she suddenly burst into tears, kneeling on the ground and taken with spasms. She curled up, sitting on the floor in the kitchen, and let it all out. It was all too much, and for the very first time in years, she felt really alone. Even Gemma was not on her side, and she could feel that she had lost everyone around her.

From her bedroom, Gemma heard Emily cry. And though it was breaking her heart to hear it, to hear her best friend in such a state, she knew that it was needed, that maybe Emily really needed to be alone for once to realize that she had people behind her, to help her, and that if she was willing to let them help her, she didn’t need to be alone in all of this. People loved Emily, but she wasn’t willing to let them love her, ands she needed to realize that she couldn’t continue like that.

  
_“I’m tired of this crap, we need to do something.”_  
-Gemma

_“Do you have an idea?”_  
-Seth

_“Yeah, text Nadia, I’ll text Phil. We might need their help. Meet in an hour at the Irish pub downtown.”_  
-Gemma

Seth did as told, and they all met an hour later at their usual bar. They didn’t know yet when they would do this, but they had a plan and it was in motion. 


	17. Making Amends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for the comments, I'm always super excited when I see that someone said something about my story, and I'm really happy you all like it!   
> Thanks also for all the kudos, I never imagined I would get so many kudos on a story for this fandom, especially in such a slow time for the show.   
> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update, I'm away from a decent internet connection and it's kind of a hassle to get one.  
> This is the last chapter before the epilogue, so I hope you will all like it. I will be back for the epilogue, it might take me a couple of weeks before I can update.   
> See you soon!
> 
> WARNING: This chapter is rated M

Another week had passed, another terrible week during which Emily had drowned a little more every day, pushing people away more and more. She wasn’t even talking to Gemma anymore, nor to Seth. She was snapping at people all the time, texting Aaron only to tell him that she would be the one taking care of Olivia at night, and not caring one second about what he could want or could say. She was so deep into her stubbornness, her exhaustion and her loneliness that she didn’t even realize that people were talking behind her back, and that people were starting to seriously ask when Tom Kirkman would fire her for her inability to keep it together. 

In the meantime, Aaron was still desperate. He had tried a few more times to talk to Emily, but it had been a bitter failure every single time. He was sad, he could realize what was happening, of course, and his heart was breaking to see Emily sink like that. He had tried to talk to Gemma again, and she assured him that she would take care of it. He didn’t understand very well what she meant, but he had high hopes that she would help him. Nadia had even tried to talk to Emily, going all the way to her apartment one night, but Emily had shut down immediately when Nadia had pronounced Aaron’s name. 

In the meantime, Gemma and Seth had drawn up their plan. They felt like teenagers conspiring behind their friends’ back, but they knew it was the only way to achieve their goal. And that’s how, on an afternoon of the next week end, Aaron got a text from Emily.

_  
“Hey, can you come over? We need to talk.”_  
-Emily

Saying that he was surprised was an understatement. He had been waiting for such a text for so long that he didn’t even answer right away.

_“Sure, be there in ten.”_  
-Aaron

It didn’t take much time for Aaron to get to Emily’s place. He was half-worried, half-relieved that Emily was suddenly willing to talk to him and his mind was racing, wondering what she would tell him. He could imagine the best and the worst scenarios, the ones in which Emily was telling him that she was leaving the country with Olivia and he would never see them again, the ones in which Emily was finally confessing her love for him and they were back together. He had never been through so many emotions in such a short lapse of time. When he knocked at the door, his heart was beating so fast he didn’t know how long he would hold. But to his surprise, it’s Gemma who opened the door, hushing him inside before telling him that Emily was in the shower and she was about to leave for a walk with Olivia. Aaron had not seen his daughter in two days, so he took a couple of minutes to take her in his arms and hug her, but he was soon asked to put her in her stroller. Gemma seemed desperate to leave the apartment with Olivia. Aaron couldn’t fully understand what was going on, but he was thankful she wanted to leave him alone with Emily for a much needed talk. He was confused and it’s only when the red-haired closed the door and he heard her lock it that he finally understood. Gemma had trapped them. Aaron sighed, because it meant that Emily didn’t actually want to see him and he really didn’t know how to behave, but he had to admit that he was quite impressed by Gemma. He texted her quickly.

_“Smart. Very smart. How long will you be out for?”_  
-Aaron

_“For as long as it takes you to make up, make out and make love.”_  
-Gemma

Aaron rolled his eyes, chuckling at his colleague’s answer, and when he rose his eyes he discovered Emily, her hair damp and wearing only a towel, looking at him.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, half-angry half-surprised.   
“I think we just got trapped by your roommate, she took Olivia out to let us alone… And she locked behind her.” Aaron answered, unsure.

Emily sighed. 

“Is she dumb enough not to know that I can use my own key to open the door?” Emily rolled her eyes. 

Still wearing her towel, she walked by Aaron, grabbing her purse from a coat-rack not far from him and started rummaging through it. She took her key-ring out of her purse, and realized that Gemma had stolen her key. Annoyed, she rolled her eyes and threw her key-ring on the table not far. 

“Bitch…” she mumbled.   
“She clearly was smarter than both of us…” Aaron commented.   
“Why did you come at first anyway?”   
“You texted me that we needed to talk. Well, obviously you didn’t, but Gemma did with your phone…”   
“I should seriously change my password.”

Emily turned around and walked back toward her bedroom to put some clothes on, leaving Aaron in the middle of the hallway without a word. He didn’t know what to do, what to say, but he clearly was stuck in this apartment with the woman he loved —even if he didn’t want to admit it— but who clearly had decided to ignore him. When Emily came back dressed a couple of minutes later, Aaron was still waiting there, not knowing what to do, and she looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re gonna stay here forever or what?” she asked sharply.  
“Huh, I don’t know. It’s not as if I felt really welcomed so…” he started. 

Emily didn’t answer and walked to the kitchen, pouring herself coffee. She was about to walk to her room, but her better judgement made her change her mind and she decided to pour coffee in a mug for Aaron too. 

“Well, get in… She cannot be long anyway…” she said, giving him the hot mug.   
“Yeah…Thanks… About that…” Aaron said.

He took his phone out of his pocket and showed Emily Gemma’s text. She cursed once more, angry that her best friend had fooled her, and feeling betrayed. 

“Well, help yourself. I’m going to my room…” Emily announced, leaving him sitting around the kitchen island on his own. 

Aaron sighed and considered his options. He could probably jump by the window, but they were on the third floor and he really didn’t want to try his luck. Calling Gemma and asking her to come back was not a possibility, he knew that she was too stubborn to give up like that. He texted Seth, explaining the situation, but his friend just answered that he knew and that he was on Gemma’s side, just like Nadia and pretty much everybody he could ask for help right now. So he was there, alone, helpless and not sure what to do. He sighed, because he had hoped that Emily would talk to him, but she clearly was nowhere near ready for that. 

For the next two hours, Aaron played some stupid game on his phone, waiting silently for something, he didn’t even know what. ‘If only I had not rushed here’ he thought. But he was sure that anyway, Gemma had planned this well enough in advance not to have her plan failed so easily. He considered watching TV, especially since he knew that the Houston Texans were playing, but he didn’t feel like turning the TV on in a place that wasn’t his. Three hours after his arrival, nothing had changed, Emily was still hiding in her bedroom, and Aaron was still bored. He had taken a seat on the couch and had found a book on a shelf after his phone had died. He knew that Emily had a charger he could borrow, but he didn’t even dare asking. 

Four hours after arriving, he desperately needed to go to the bathroom, and finally decided to go even if he knew it meant walking by Emily’s bedroom. When he came back, he stood for a while in front of Emily’s closed door, thinking about it, and finally decided to knock. He didn’t get any answer and decided to open the door anyway, peeking his head through the door. Emily was lying on her bed watching a movie and glanced at him, waiting for him to say something.

“Don’t you think we should talk? I know you don’t want to, but we clearly are stuck here so…” Aaron said.

Emily didn’t answer and Aaron opened the door wider, leaning on the frame, his arms crossed and looking at Emily. 

“Em…” he pleaded. “Talk to me… I’m not even sure what Ryan told you, and I honestly don’t care. I want you back, that’s all I want, no matter what he told you.” 

Emily didn’t answer again, but he saw her shiver. His words had done something to her, he could see it. He took his chance and decided to walk toward Emily and lied on the bed next to her, pretending to watch the movie with her. 

“I didn’t say you could lie here…” she snapped.  
“What are you watching?” he asked in return, not answering her comment.   
“The King’s Speech, believe it or not I actually never watched it.”   
“Can you pause for a minute? Please.” Aaron asked.

Emily sighed but did as asked. She closed her laptop, pushed it at her feet, and lied on her bed, looking at the ceiling, waiting for Aaron to talk. 

“I miss you, Em…” he said, looking at the ceiling too. “I’ll never forgive him, he had no right to mess up with us the way he did. These past what… 15 days? They were hell… I don’t want one more day like this… I want you to come back to me.”   
“It’s only a matter of time before you realize that you don’t want me, or Liv. It’s only a matter of time before you abandon us, it’s better like this…” she answered, coldly.  
“Why would you even think that?” Aaron asked, taken aback by her comment.  
“Because it’s true. Ryan was right. You’ll never love me, not after what I did to you, not after everything. Because people always leave.”  
“I’m not your father, Emily. I’m not leaving, not now, not ever.” Aaron said.

And that did the trick. He suddenly heard Emily sob and turned his head to look at her, still looking at the ceiling. Her eyes were full of tears already falling down her cheeks. He took her hand in his, waiting to see her reaction, and then got closer to her, and then finally took her in his arms. She was lying against him, his arms wrapped around her, and she was just sobbing against his chest. 

“Why would you ever think that I could abandon you, or Liv?”  
“Because you didn’t want her, I trapped you, just like my dad felt trapped when my mom told him she was pregnant with me. It’s only a matter of time before you run away” she said, her voice broken by the sobs.   
“Em, I am the happiest man and father on Earth since Liv was born, since we finally started dating, can’t you see it? That I would do anything for you, or for our daughter?”  
“But, why?”  
“Why do I do all that?” 

Emily just nodded, not answering.

“Because I love you, Em. I know I’ve never said it before, but I really do. We’ve had a rocky start, but it doesn’t mean we cannot live happily ever after.”

Three words were resonating in Emily’s head and she rose her head to look at Aaron in the eyes, wondering if it was true, if he really meant it. Aaron could see the hesitation in her eyes and pushed her to lie on her back. Moving on top of her, he looked at her in the eyes, his face inches away from her, and said it again.

“I love you, Emily Rhodes.”

He didn’t let her the time to answer and just kissed her. He kissed her passionately, their tongues dancing together as he was resting his hand on her face, pushing away a strand of hair behind her ear. She clung to him, her arms around his neck, holding as tight as she could to him, not wanting to ever lose him. Pulling apart for air, they looked at each other in the eyes. They both had a genuine smile on their faces, relieved that they could finally make up. Aaron wasn’t even upset that Emily didn’t say it back, that she didn’t tell him she loved him, because he just knew that she wasn’t ready for this. It didn’t mean that she wasn’t in love with him, it just was too hard to actually say it. 

Emily pulled him back toward her, their lips connecting once more, softly this time. It was sweeter, more gentle, she was playing with his lower lip, gently pulling on it, making him smile. Her hands traveled in his lower back, tugging on the hem of his polo shirt and placing her hands under it, on the soft skin of his back. He did the same, putting one of his hand under her tee-shirt, on her hips, letting his hand travel back and forth on her side. He wanted to go further up, but he wasn’t sure how she would react and he didn’t want to push his luck, even though he really wanted her, and she could probably feel it too through his jeans. She finally decided to pull his polo shirt above his head, throwing it somewhere on the floor. 

“We don’t have to do this, Em…” he said, his voice soft.   
“Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?” she asked.

He chuckled softly and went back to her lips, deciding that she was right, they had indeed waited long enough. They had not had sex since that night when Olivia was conceived, more than a year ago. Even though they had started dating a few months ago, they had never crossed that step again, not ready to give themselves to each other again. 

He finally allowed himself to move his hand further up under her tee-shirt, finally caressing her breasts through the lace bra she was wearing. Her tee-shirt was off soon, and a smile drew on his face at the sight of her breasts, still covered with her bra. She was as gorgeous as he could remember it. He knew he was biased, but he could even say that pregnancy had made her even more beautiful. His lips were going down in the valley of her breasts, slowly reaching her belly button, and then the hem of her jeans. He looked up toward her, silently asking for permission to take her jeans off, and she nodded. Undoing the button, then the fly of her jeans, he took his time to push them down her legs. Her dark-blue panties were matching her bra and he couldn’t help but feel aroused. Kissing her though her panties, he came back up slowly, all the way to her lips, his hands traveling on her body. 

Her hands were toying with the button on his jeans, she was biting her lips with anticipation, and he smiled at her, excited to go further. So she did, she finally opened his jeans, and with his help, they were soon on the floor with the rest of their clothes. Her hands were on his underwear, caressing his hard on, making him shiver. She played with the elastic band of it, teasing him before slipping her hand inside it, making him suddenly gasp for air. 

“Em…” he called, breathless. 

He crashed his lips on her, wanting more of her, impatient. One of his hand slipped behind her back, unclasping almost skillfully her bra, and the new-sight of her bare chest made him want her even more. His mouth traveled on one breast, kissing it, gently sucking on her nipple, then on the other one, and then all the way down her pussy. Her panties soon found the floor, and his hands parted her folds, his mouth quickly finding the little bundle of nerve already full of need. She was already so wet it made him even harder. His talented mouth made her moan, her eyes closing and her hips arching toward him. But soon, she pulled him back up toward her and kissed him, tasting herself. She couldn’t take it anymore.

“Do you have…” he asked. 

She nodded before he could finish his question and pushed him on the side, reaching for a condom in the drawer of her nightstand. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but she was very thankful that Gemma had hidden a box of condoms in her drawer when they had moved in together. She took the opportunity to take charge of their love-making, straddling him after having taken off his underwear. With her teeth, she opened the wrapping of the condom and rolled it down his member. This was it, they were about to be one again, after all this time. Looking at each other in the eyes, Aaron’s hands on her hips and hers on his lower stomach, she slowly sank down on him, the sensation of fulfillment making them both moan. She started moving up and down, slowly, too slowly for their sakes. They were both desperate to make this last as long as possible, but they knew it was reasonably not possible. It didn’t take long before Aaron got tired of Emily’s teasing pace, and he pushed her on the side to take the lead. Lying on top of her, he entered her again and started thrusting into her harder, faster, making her gasp for air. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips, moaning every time he would hit that sensible spot inside of her. Aaron buried his head in the crook of her neck, biting the soft skin of her sweet spot. 

“Faster…” she pleaded in a murmur. 

She felt him smile in her neck, one of those cocky smiles he would wear when he was proud of himself, but he did as told and started moving faster. It wasn’t gentle, it was deep thrusts that were making them both moan every time. One of his hand slipped between them, between her folds, and he started playing with that little bundle of nerves that desperately needed attention. He was close to his release, and he could feel her walls starting to clench, making him want to come even more. It only took a few more hard and deep thrusts into her before he felt her tremble under him, her moans loud and her nails digging in his back. That’s all it took to make him come too, and with a groan he could feel himself release inside of her. 

Kissing her softly in the crook of her neck, he pulled out of her and took the condom off before throwing it. When he came back to the room, she was smiling at him, the covers already back up on her, and he slid in the bed next to her. Cuddling her, she snuggled against him. He kissed her forehead and put his hand on her back, gently caressing her. Neither Emily nor Aaron talked, they were just happy to finally be together, and they peacefully fell asleep. 

Aaron woke up a few hours later, Emily still snuggled against him. It was dark in the room, the night had come but it seemed that no one was back in the apartment. He felt Emily move a bit against him, slowly waking up too. 

“What time is it?” she asked, her voice low.  
“I don’t know, my phone died a while ago…” he answered. “Probably the middle of the night…”  
“Crap… Liv…” Emily realized.  
“I’m sure she’s just fine. She’s probably at Seth’s with Gemma.” Aaron reassured.   
“He was in this too?” Emily asked.  
“Yeah, and Nadia too, even Phil I think…”  
“I hate them…”  
“No you don’t…”  
“Ok… I don’t”

Aaron chuckled at her answer and kissed her forehead, pulling her closer to him. 

“Should we tell them, that their plan worked?” she asked.  
“Yeah, but I’m sure it can wait tomorrow morning…” he answered.  
“Fine, I really didn’t want to leave your arms anyway.” 

She turned her back to him and pulled him against her, holding onto his arms around her chest. 

“Em?” he called softly.  
“Yeah?”   
“Can you promise me one thing?”  
“Probably…”  
“Don’t ever run away from me again. Talk to me when something is wrong, I can handle anything, okay?”

It took just enough of time for Aaron’s heart to beat faster, worried that she would build her walls back up. 

“Yeah, that I can promise.” she said, tightening her grip against him.

He sighed, reassured, kissed her shoulder, and with that, they fell back asleep entangled, knowing that their time had finally come.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there.  
> I have no clue if anyone is still reading on this website, I am truly deeply sorry I didn't update earlier. I have been away from a decent internet connection and a working computer for the past few weeks, so it's quite a mess to update. 
> 
> So, this is officially the end of this story, it's been a fun ride and I hope you liked it. Thanks a lot to everyone who left kudos and commented, I never expected to have so many likes on this story, especially in such a quiet time for the show.
> 
> I hope you'll like this epilogue, and don't forget to watch Netflix June 7, can't wait for season 3 to come out!

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Aaron asked.  
“Yeah, I can’t anymore. I need a break, I need to take time for myself, and for Liv.” Emily answered. 

Aaron looked at her in the eyes, towering over her and trying to detect any ounce of hesitation in her eyes, but he couldn’t see any. She was resigning. 

“You know there is no going back?”  
“I know, but I am sure I’ll find something that I like, the time come.” 

Aaron nodded and kissed her forehead before letting her head toward the Oval Office. Emily had her resignation letter in her hands and was leaving the Chief of Staff’s office. The one she had used for the past year. She had thought about this every which way, but in the end she knew she didn’t have a choice. Even though everything was personally fine since she and Aaron had gotten back together a couple of weeks ago, everything was still too hard to handle professionally. 

Everyday was a struggle to get out of bed, everyday was a struggle to get to work, and everyday was a struggle to think about all the challenges that were awaiting. 

At first, she thought it was just because everything was a mess in her life. Then, she thought it was the lack of sleep. But after a few days of rest, she still felt tired and realized that it wasn’t the problem. It was the job, nothing more. She had spent most of the past year running here and there, pregnant and barely taking time for her, and with the birth of Olivia, it had become unbearable. 

“Mr. President…” she said, handing him her letter as she arrived in the Oval Office.  
“Emily…” he sighed. “Are you sure?”  
“I am. I need to refocus. I am becoming crazy, I am not my usual self anymore… And I fear that I am letting you down. I need to leave before I make an unforgivable mistake.”  
“You know how sad I am to see you go, but I cannot say that I am very surprised. I know how hard it’s been for you the past few weeks.”

Emily just nodded. She didn’t want to enlarge on her personal life, even if she knew that the President knew everything already. 

“Know that the time come, when you’ll be ready to come back, you’ll have a seat at my table.” he asserted.  
“Thank you, Sir.”

Tom Kirkman took a step toward Emily and hugged her kindly. She had always been and would alway be much more than a senior adviser to him, just like he was much more than the President to her. Leaving his office for the last time, she finally shed a tear, thinking about everything that had happened, but knowing that she would never regret her choice. 

When she came home that night, after packing her office, Aaron was walking by her side, holding her hand. They were welcomed by Gemma who had picked up Olivia earlier in the evening, and they talked, drank wine and remembered everything that the White House had brought them. 

“So, you basically forced me to work at the White House a year ago, and now you are the one leaving. What am I gonna do without you?” Gemma asked.  
“I’m sure you’ll do fine without me, and you’ll be able to push his buttons without me interfering…” she joked, pointing at Aaron.  
“Though, if you could avoid being a pain…” Aaron added, chuckling and making the girls laugh.  
“What are you going to do now?” Gemma asked Emily.  
“For now, take care of Liv, take care of myself, sleep more. And when I’ll be ready, I’ll think of something.”  
“I’m sure you’ll be back at the White House…” Aaron stated.  
“What makes you so sure?” Emily asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“You’ll always have a seat by his side, he told you. And the man loves you more than his own children…” Aaron laughed.  
“You know that’s not true.”  
“Okay, it’s not. He loves his children more, but he really cares about you. He’ll always have your back.”

And that’s how a few months later, they were joined by Seth and Nadia on that same couch, talking and drinking wine, celebrating Emily’s new job at the White House. 

These four months off had done a huge difference in Emily’s state of mind. She was feeling refreshed and ready to tackle new challenges. She had been named Associate Director of Intergovernmental Affairs. It was a less demanding position, but still high enough for someone like Emily who had been the White House Chief of Staff. That position required Emily to travel a lot, but at least she was home most nights to take care of Olivia, and that’s what she wanted the most. On nights when she couldn’t be home, she knew that Aaron was there for them. In a few months, Aaron had proven to be the best father and best boyfriend Emily could ever hope for. He had become her rock, the one person she could count on at any time. 

“So, when are you moving in together?” Gemma suddenly asked.

She made Aaron and Emily almost choke on their glass of wine while Seth and Nadia started laughing at their embarrassment. 

“What?” Emily exclaimed, shocked. 

“Isn’t it time for you to move in together? I mean, especially since you’re starting to work again…” Gemma continued.

The red-haired had not stopped teasing the pair, especially after succeeding in her plan to get them back together. She was just too proud of herself to even think about stopping. 

“Come on, you’re embarrassing them…” Seth continued on a teasing tone, making them all laugh even more.  
“Be sure I’ll lock you in that damn apartment again if I have to. And I’m serious!” Gemma exclaimed.  
“Yeah, no thank you. We’ll take it one step at a time.” Aaron finally answered.

The truth was, they had not talked about it together. They were not sure they were ready for that step, even though everything was great between the two of them. They had finally found a good balance between everything going on in their life and they were not sure they wanted to change it yet. Even though they were spending most of their nights together, especially in the four months Emily had not worked, they knew it was a big step to move in together. It meant they wouldn’t be able to count on Gemma as much as they were now, it meant they wouldn’t have date nights as often as they wanted to, it meant that they were ready to stand each other’s daily life. 

“Marriage then?” Gemma continued.  
“Hard no for both of us!” Aaron exclaimed.  
“Yeah, we don’t want to get married.” Emily confirmed.  
“Not fun, I wanted to organize a big wedding for the two of you…” Nadia pouted.  
“Or babies then! You make very cute babies!” Gemma exclaimed.  
“Gemma…” Emily groaned. 

Everybody in the room new about her fertility issues, she had ended up telling them all, but it didn’t make it more fun to talk about. 

“Come on, it took you one night to make such a cute kid…” Gemma continued, looking at Olivia on her lap. “So I’m sorry to say this, but it’s definitely not a fertility problem, but a chemistry one…” 

Everybody laughed and Emily buried her head in Aaron’s neck, embarrassed that people would laugh about her private life. 

“Ok, enough…” Nadia said, coming to the pair’s rescue. “How do you like that new job?” she asked Emily.  
“It’s great! I’m really happy Kirkman offered me this position. I mean, it coincided so well with Stevenson’s departure, and I like working with people outside of Washington. I tended to forget that there is a life outside of the capital. You know, when you’re spending so much time working for the federal government, you forget where you’re from…”

Nadia nodded, Aaron gave a faint smile. They too, could understand that. Talking often together, they needed to remind each other that they had a family in Texas. They had come to Washington to make a difference, to represent people like them, who didn’t come from wealthy families. Sometimes, caught up in things, they tended to forget about it. 

“And I like that I can travel, but that I can still be home almost every night to take care of Olivia.” Emily continued.  
“And Aaron…” Gemma hinted with a teasing tone.  
“Oh, shut up…” Emily laughed, threatening to throw a cushion toward Gemma. 

Everybody laughed. Everybody knew it was true. In just a few months, Emily and Aaron had become that kind of couple that couldn’t live without the other. 

“Oh, come on… You know it’s true! Every night, I can hear you say ‘I’m going to Aaron’s’” Gemma said, imitating Emily’s voice in a mocking tone. 

Everybody laughed as she buried her head in Aaron’s neck once more. He tightened his grip around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. 

“Ignore them…” he just whispered. 

A few hours later that night, as Aaron was sound asleep, Emily couldn't help but toss. She was overthinking, like she often did. She couldn't sleep and ended up waking Aaron up, without meaning to. 

“Babe…” he groaned, still half-asleep.  
“I’m sorry…” Emily said. “I promise I’ll stop tossing…”

They stayed silent for a couple of minutes, Aaron trying to surface and Emily doing her best to stay put, not wanting to toss more. 

“Ok, tell me… What is going on?” Aaron asked, pulling her against him.  
“Nothing, I’m sorry… Just go back to sleep…” Emily ignored.  
“Em… Babe.” 

Aaron didn’t want to take no for an answer. He could feel that something was going on with her, and he didn’t like that. He knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anymore.

“It’s just…” Emily started. “I keep thinking about what we talked about in the evening…”  
“You’ll have to be more precise…”  
“About moving in together…”  
“Is it because I said one step at a time that you are worried?”

Emily nodded, and even in the dark of the room Aaron could see it.

“Babe, I just said that to brush things off. We haven’t even talked about it together yet.” Aaron explained.  
“Yeah… I know it’s stupid to worry about that, but I cannot help it…”  
“Why are you worrying? Do you want us to move in together?”  
“I don’t know… Do you?”  
“I asked you first, Em…”  
“I think I do. But what if everything falls apart because we cannot handle living together?”  
“Why would that even happen? We basically already live together…”  
“Yeah, but…” 

There was a silence as Emily was thinking, unable to finish her sentence. 

“Em… Don’t worry, we’ll move in together when we feel like moving in together, we don’t have to rush. If it’s tomorrow, it’s fine by me, if it’s in six months, it’s fine too. I don’t want you to feel pressured.  
"But isn't Gemma right? Don't you think it would be better if we were living together, now that I started working again?"  
"Maybe Em. Probably... But I don't want us to rush things just because you started working again or because Gemma said so..."  
"Ok..." 

Emily sighed and wrapped her arm around Aaron's chest, holding tight to him. She didn't seem convinced with Aaron's comment, and he could feel it too. It was the insecurities coming back, she knew it. She knew she still had a lot of progress to make before feeling completely at ease with someone and be able to tell that person everything. 

"You want me to tell you that we should move in together now?" Aaron asked.  
"I'm just afraid I'm pushing things, that you don't want the same things that I want." Emily admitted.  
"If there is one thing I can assure you, it's that nothing is too fast when it comes to you and me. No matter what, we will be fine, because I know you, and you know me, and we know how to overcome the challenges between us. Okay?"  
"Okay." Emily answered.  
"So, you know what we should do tomorrow?" Aaron asked.  
"No?"  
"We're going to start looking at apartments where we can live together, and we're going to take our time until we find the perfect place for the three of us. Deal?"  
"Deal."  
"Don't forget that, Em. When you worry about something, when you feel like you're drowning, remember that you and me, we're endgame. I can promise you that because I am sure of it. Forever."  
"Forever."


End file.
